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I wish I had called the police when he was whacking my dog with a long bit of tarpaulin (sp?)

51 replies

TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 06/02/2010 10:55

my delightful neighbour has yet again called the polive on me about duke

his crime this time was running through his garden

I am aware that he should not be in hais garden
it was an accident
my mate forgot to close the gate after him and duke thought he was getting a walk

the police came and I explained(again cause it was different policemen) about our situation, the dogs behaviour changing, the fact we ahve a dog trainer etc)

and the poliveman was shocked to see we only had duke

he was waiting to find the savagely aggressive dog that had been explained to him

not duke who rolled oer in front of him for a tummy rub

I also explained that I am having trouble training duke not to try to protect me frtom said naieghbour as he has started to hit him with a long peice of tarp
I witnessed this about 4 days ago but I just didn't think there was any point in calling the police as I know that the dog shuld not have been nesar his drive

but the policeman says I must call them when I see him do it next

I am enraged by the obvious difference in the way he deals with issues since neil has died

OP posts:
Vallhala · 06/02/2010 20:53

Ah, so he's an intelligent, energetic escape artist!

You should get good advice and support on both ideas for training and the law on the website LurcherLink - seek out the owner, Kaye, and pm her (say that one of Poplar Farm's volunteers recommended you if you'd care to). Kaye comes over as a bit abrupt in writing but she's very knowledgable, helpful and very different when you actually speak with her, so don't be deterred by her written style.

A local Flyball or agility group may have some ideas too, which might use up some of Duke's energies. Ask around in local dog circles of thiis kind, you'd be surprised. A rescue near to me has staff and volunteers going out to walk "problem" dogs whose families are experiencing personal difficulties and aren't able to be superwoman, you may find help of this kind too.

Good luck and try not to stress.

Vallhala · 06/02/2010 20:54

PS don't know if it might be of use but maybe the Neighbours From Hell website can help? Lots of people with advice, past experience and so on there.

TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 06/02/2010 21:07

valhalla, you are amazing
thankyou so much
I didn't know of any of the things you have mentioned
you are a font of knowledge

I am going to put a watch on this thread and really look into all you have said when I feel better

I have hope now
I cant thank you enough

OP posts:
TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 06/02/2010 21:10

and you have got him spot on

intelligent, energetic, escape artist

he is gorgeous and cute and clever

we all love him to bits
I'm so scared that he will be taken away or they will force me to rehome

I cant bear that
actually I wont let it happen
my kids dont need to lose theirs dads beloved dog aswell as their dad

OP posts:
SpringHeeledJack · 06/02/2010 21:13

oh, Trinity

Vallhala · 06/02/2010 21:22

Darling, I'm not amazing, I'm just an idiot for dogs who hates injustice, cruelty and assholes!

No-one can take him away from you, you clearly aren't mistreating him. The one big risk to Duke is if he bites, which is, as I said, why you are right to take all precautions. Given that he lives happily with you children and isn't a threat to them it seems clear to me that he has issues because of the sad situation you've all had to face recently. Dog-wise I can sympathise - my Lab x can be stroppy, having been beaten as a youngster by a previous owner, then seeing his next one beaten by her DP, which has taught him to hate certain men and makes him over-protective of me. It does mean you have to be extra vigilant (for example, if I leave him outside a shop he is watched over by my teenagers and also muzzled every time, just in case). It DOESN'T mean he's a bad dog or that you or I will have our furry friends taken away.

If there's anything you think that I can help with, just shout. I'm no expert at all but am lucky enough to have many contacts in the dog world because of my involvement in rescue. These people range from breed rescues, all breed, action/campaign groups and animal right-ers so their knowledge covers all aspects of dog stuff.

SpringHeeledJack · 06/02/2010 21:23

sorry. That sanctimonious bit upthread got on me tits a bit

rrrrr

TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 06/02/2010 21:37

what do you mean springheeledjack?

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SpringHeeledJack · 06/02/2010 21:44

I just meant I don't normally do "ohs" and s out of the blue, but it was the combination of evil neighbour/dog/yr situation and the judgy bollocks being nasty at lunchtime made me come over all teary

I think you're doing really well. And I think you should do what other people have said and log every single thing this neighbour does. sounds like the police are being sensible, and it would be helpful to have something to give em if he calls tehm again

TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 06/02/2010 21:54

oh right

yes I thouroughly enjoyed her comment ....not

OP posts:
Summersoon · 06/02/2010 23:34

I am sorry if I offended you Trinity. (I assume the above comments were directed at me. None of my family nor any of my friends use anything like the language I have seen on this thread and I was a bit shocked.)
I will not post again on this thread.
But before I go: I think that the other behaviours suggested on here will help your defense if any of this ever gets to court (or to a council if council-owned accommodation) but will not help defuse the situation, which is what is needed. I think that your neighbour is very wrong, but he is unlikely to leave, unless he is in council-owned accommodation and you can get him evicted.

TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 07/02/2010 09:09

I dont want him to leave
we are both home owners
we lice out of town right near the sea
there is only 5 others houses here

he is my dads age
I dont mean him any harm
I dont want my dog to bother him just as I dont want my dog to bother anyone

I didn't phone the police when he was hitting my dog as ut didn't even cross my mind

the problem I have with him is his attitude

he has always been a little interfering

asking my husband and I (whilst we were standing in our chicken coop with our chickens and rabbit and he passed by in his car) id we had a license for that rabbit

neil laughed and it vecame clear he was serious

when I had frends over and they were parked along the side of our lane he then knocked and demanded I moved the cars as its not a car park

the thing is you dont need a license for a rabbit
and we can park where we like on our property as long as he can pass in his car, which he could, we made sure of it

also we have had duke since easter day and he had been escaping and going into his garden which we rectified by doublung the height of the fence and getting a dog trainer to train him (he was only 7 months)

the dog trainer and neil spoke to the neaighbour about him escaping and apologised and the neighbour was very understanding and saying things like, it's alright mate I can see your getting it sorted, thanks for tekkingme whats going on'

but then in august neil died and the neighbour has become aggresive in the way he speals to me and at the drop of a hat will phone the police

three time for the dog
I have the polive here twice and in between those times the first policeman that had visited us phone me and said I'm not coming down, I know you are doing all you can and we know what your neighbour is like

so I'm assuming that the neighbout knew the police didn't come out to us that time as he theb pgoned the rescue centre that we got duke form and reported us for neglecting the dog

so then I had them come out to check
I have no problem with them checking btw
but they did it because if a flase accusation and he wasted their time
I dont understand his problem

all this happened without me evr swearing at him or anything

he never once came to the door to ask if we realised the dog was entering his garden or if we were working on a solution or even to just complain directly to us

no he realised that in august the police had come to my door to inform me of the death of my husband and he sent the police to my dorr two more times between august and christmas

I have then since not felt it matters what I do

so coupled with doing my upmost to control the dog and ensure he bothers noone, I have been unable to curb my frustration towards his attitude so when I saw him hitting my dog and he starts shouting at me I swore at him
I didn't say fuck you
I said stop fucking hitting my dog

I beleive there is a difference albeit slight

he has also always been very annoyed that I am fluching nappies down the toilet

he is cinvinced

I have tried time and again to calmly explain that I have nevr abd would never do that at all ever
and then he will say 'ok, now stop flushing nappp[ies down the toilet'

literally, I say, I have never done that and he says ok, now stop doing it
again and again

honestly, I do not know how to deal with him in any way at all
I am at the end of my tether already

on the 24th of august my life fell apart and I have three small children, 2 stepsons and a pg dil (ish) to carry and I'm not managing

he doesn't seem to be aware of any of this

even thought he is
I cant cope with it

OP posts:
TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 07/02/2010 09:13

that was a hell od an essay sorry about that

please feel free to post wherever you like
infact maybe I can learn from how you feel

I mention three times that the police have been sent by him and then I forgot to tell you the other time

we live on a single track road, with passing places

you have to be polite but there is an unwritten rule that whoever is closest to the passing place reverses to it

I was just around a corner so not safe to reverse and he was a bout 2 car lengthes past a passing place

he gestured that I reverse, I smailed and gestured that he should

we passed

he said, I should learn to drive as he passed

and then the police came down saying I had been reported as a dangerous driver

OP posts:
Summersoon · 07/02/2010 09:19

I said I wouldn't post again but I wanted to say very sorry again and wish you well.
I hope that things get better for you, somehow.

TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 07/02/2010 09:25

thankyou summersoon

OP posts:
bronze · 07/02/2010 10:28

Have you got that notebook ready? I might be tempted to leave a camera with it, maybe one with a video function

Is it even possible to flush a nappy down the toilet?

sweetnitanitro · 07/02/2010 11:36

God, he sounds like a total nightmare. Dangerous driving?! FFS I hope you get him sorted out and he leaves you in peace soon.

Vallhala · 07/02/2010 12:55

Trinity, please do invite your local PC over and tell him everything you've told us - your neighbour's behaviour is a breech of the harrassment law. That the Police know what the neighbour is like speaks volumes.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

GreenMonkies · 07/02/2010 13:21

Trinity, I thought you use washable nappies? Why would you flush those? (just remembered I have some Minkis for you that I totally forgot to post )

mablemurple · 07/02/2010 14:19

Trinity, this all sounds horrendous and your neighbour is clearly an obnoxious bully. In a small community it is awful if you don't get on with your neighbours - have you considered some sort of mediation? This link gives some general information about it, and your local authority might be a good place to start enquiring whether they have such a service. I thought your post at 09:09 was very eloquent and would be a good starting point. So sorry you are having to go through this.

TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 07/02/2010 15:51

thankyou everyone

I did try and use washables for a good few months but I already have a problem with keeping up with the washing and I couldn't keep it up

also both of the smallest girls have been out of nappes since gecko turned two

shes three today...

OP posts:
GreenMonkies · 07/02/2010 18:11

Oh! Happy Birthday Gecko!!!

(do I take it you don't want the minkis now then?)

FortifiedBananaHouse · 07/02/2010 18:36

lol sorry monkies

no I cant make any use of them now as they are both out of nappies

FortifiedBananaHouse · 07/02/2010 19:53

oops this is trinity
bt
my mate was asking me if you could be any name you want and didn't beleive me when I said yeah
so I changed it to something stupid and then forgot lol

GreenMonkies · 07/02/2010 20:24

I quite like FortifiedBananaHouse........

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