Need to put DH off wanting a dog/puppy

[Dillie]

The long and short of it is my dh has wanted a dog for as long as I can remember, but as I have always had a cat with me, I said no.

He doesn't want a mutt either, but a Husky, now I know for a fact these ARE hard work! A lot of walks etc and our house isn't exactly the biggest.

My cat isn't that well (he has the auto immune anemia thingy) so I cant afford to stress him as stress makes the condition worse, apparently. And although he is only 3 years old, it could kill him or he could live to 16+ years. The vets just don't know!

How can I get him off the idea? He has now told my dd (4.5 years) which obviously has put ideas in her head too which in turn is putting pressure on me.

I am trying to dig my heals in as best I can, but dh reckons i am being awkward!!

I know nothing about husky dogs per se.....and am a total novice in the dog-related issues posed on this board......

However, I know that both DH and DCs wanted a dog for the last 4 years - at least! Basically, I told them that if we weren't all on board then it was a no-go. My reluctance was based on the fact that they are out all day and therefore it will be up to me to do all the hard work. I liked the concept but doubted my ability to deal with the reality. Also, we have 2 cats. I have been subjected to many methods of persuasion....begging, pleading, emotional blackmail......

Finally, middle of last year, I started to think about how a dog may benefit rather than hinder my life By Christmas, I knew I was on board, knew the breed we wanted (having carefully researched......twas not DH's first choice but it was the one that I, as principle carer, loved) and we began our search a few weeks ago for our perfect pup. Also, to avoid the "whose turn is it to walk/feed" etc etc. I made the bold decision to say "This will be my dog". And of course, they all want to help but from the outset the onus is on me - so I can't moan when (inevitably) it falls to my feet day to day

I think if you have doubts, don't do it. My friend was under pressure to have a dog for 3 years. After a very traumatic day watching one of our DD's friend bury her DD she went into life is too short mode and got a lovely retriever pup. At the moment she is picking up about 7 lots of poo a day, doing the walks every week day and some weekends, feeding her and doing puppy classes once a week . Her ability to pop off to the supermarket etc after work has gone and I know she is really struggling with all of this plus the extra cleaning.

Her DH and DC's (old enough to help) all swore they would help but they aren't. Puppies are very hard work and some breeds more than others. Maybe you could consider a smaller, older dog as a compromise? Even the nurse in the vets today said there is no way she's having a pup again for a very long time as we were swapping notes on my 8 month and her 10 month pups.

I love huskies. Possibly more than Staffies. I have never owned one, only met a few, but they all seemed well behaved.

I'm afraid to say if your DH has dogs most of his life and always wanted one you are unlikely to change his mind.

I'd rather leave DH than live without a dog. He knows that, he knew how I felt before we settled down together, he has has to live with that.

I'd check with the vet about the cat first though and see how he thinks he will cope. Obv the cat comes first and his health needs to be considered.

I have to agree with everyone. We have a 9 week old Staffy pup now and even as lifelong dogs lover/owners, me and DP are finding it hard that all the tough stuff is down to us now. Before it was always parents.

Definately research your breed.

How about a compromise..if you have the time maybe apply for puppy training for the Guide Dogs for the Blind?? then if it doesn't work out you have the chande to give the dog back??

Oh and Shiny.. there's a pic of our little terror on my profile

Aww bless. Staffie pups are hard work aren't they? I am also a life long dog owner. I was bought my first puppy before I could walk, we have always had 'high maintenance' breeds i.e dobermans, akitas, german shepards, but I was still taken aback by the sheer energy and determination of my Staffy pup. Sadly we lost our pup in an accident about 8 months ago. I still haven't gotten over it

I have a fox terrier x atm. But I am working on getting DH to agree to another -staffy dog after our has been trained. I just wouldn't have the time to commit fully to another dog untill then.

Are you afraid that they will lose interest and not take care of the dog?

If that's the reason, then perhaps you could suggest that they volunteer at the local dog's home where they need dog walkers. Suggest a reasonable period. Perhaps 3 months and then review it?

Huskies are very high maintenance though.

huskies need an ENORMOUS amount of exercise. EEEEE-NORMOUS. They're lovely, but a v specialised breed, and not for the faint-hearted. Check out the breed club online: they'll be plenty there to put him off, and that's from owners who adore their huskies to distraction. I don't think a responsible breeder would necessarily be that keen on selling a puppy to a household with a smallish child either (am I ladling this on enough for you, dillie?!)

I love our dogs but having a dog is totally different to having a cat. It's like having a toddler with no useful interest in CBeebies and much more powerful teeth. Say goodbye to spontaneous weekends away when the neighbour pops in to feed the cat. Say hello to trudging around your local park with a poo bag and a manky stick. Say an even bigger hello to whoever sells vacuum cleaner bags. Our dogs are pretty easy-going, but even they can't be left for more than 3 hours, which has put a serious crimp in my shopping and social life! The pluses far outweigh the minuses for me, but if you're not 100% into the idea to begin with, it's a recipe for a LOT of arguments.

Why not volunteer your DH to do some walking for your local rescue? The dogs will love him for the exercise, and he'll get a sobering view of what happens to dogs who get too big, too boisterous, too much work for their owners.

Glad to read these responses: I am really struggling with our young terrier, who is nearly two and feels to me like a toddler who will never grow up. I'm astonished how demanding he is, and how training needs to be constant, and how new bad habits spring up like the heads on a hydra. And it all seems to fall to me, and the kids never walk him. So I agree with other posters, try to get some real experience in first with a temp dog, and see how much you can take.

Actually, maybe the best thing would be to find a really full-on husky breeder and take DH (but not DD - puppies are too cute!) to meet the dogs. The breeder will almost certainly give him the third degree about where he's going to harness train the huskies, what experience he has with running dogs, where they'll sleep, how long they'll be left alone, whether you'll be feeding BARF, what sort of kennelling you could provide, do you have a tripe supplier near you, etc, etc, etc, etczzzzzz.

All you have to do is practise your 'sad' face for the journey home.

Aren't Huskies supposed to be dodgy to let off lead because of their tendency to run and not stop or something? That might be rubbish but I've read it a couple of times recently. The idea of a dog who needs huge amounts of exercise and might have issues of legging it sounds highly stressful to me.

My golden retriever puppy is hard work, but I can put him in the crate and go out, so better than a toddler imo. He does crave constant attention and leaps up biting and scratching a lot of the time, so when I'm not giving him attention I'm often putting antiseptic cream on children and mending holes in jumpers. His delight at seeing us when we come in is a massive morale boost, and having a cuddle on the sofa (I ditched my no-sofa rule almost immediately when I realised how fabulous a warm cushion is) is lovely. The kids don't look after him at all but they think he's marvellous. Going for walks is a wonderful way to get to know your neighbours and restore your faith in humanity - you talk to complete strangers in a way you would never have thought possible.

My dh never wanted a dog and is a super-squeamish hygiene freak, but he's now crazy about ours and wants him to sleep in our bedroom.

The puppy part is really hard work though and if you can't face that then you might think about getting little soppy lapdog, or rehoming an older dog who's been living with a family.

Maybe also wait another year or so unless your dd is quite tall and strong for her age. Our pup knocks my nearly 4yo over, but not my rather more robust 5yo. The 7yo is absolutely fine with him and strong enough to shove him off. The age of kids is a real issue.

I never wanted a dog.

Dh for many years did and so did the children.

I didnt so it never happened,Im not a dog person.

Then one day somehow we ended up with Buddy a staffy/pitbull cross and I love him to bits he loves me best too -he's not hard work yes he needs a walk a few times a day but its amazing what fresh air does for you!! he never poops or wees indoors hes fabulous.

Wouldnt be without him.

If you really want to put him off the main downside of having a dog is how much it restricts your freedom. You can't go shopping, Alton Towers, visiting relatives etc for the day without sorting someone out to come in and let the dog out. Has he thought about that?

My DH never wanted a dog but very begrudgingly said OK to me. I do everything for the dog which is fine as he made it clear he never would. If I'm working a late shift he will let the dog out when he comes in but that's it. I do all the walking, poo picking in the garden. If she wees in the house DH will leave it for me to clean up even if I'm out.

But, I know he's fond of that dog even if he pretends not to be. I've caught him tickling her tummy and talking to her when he thinks nobody will notice!

Goth- Buddy is 2 now and hes never been left for longer than 10 mins ...we are lucky in the if we are invited to friends,buddy is too and we have Grandad who is always willingchomping at the bit to 'buddy sit'-but it does bother me and my eardrums that my neighbours leave their dog out for 8-10 hours a day whining and barking.

Not everyone has that option. If I go and see my brother I can't take the dog with me. Brother is 1hr45mins away. So thats 3 hours of driving time plus visiting time. Sometimes my mum will let the dog out but sometimes she comes as well!

Its only 3 or 4 times a year and luckily I have a greyhound who just sleeps 23hours a day and isn't stressed by it.

But there are other times when we don't go out for the day as it would mean leaving her and I don't like to if it can be avoided.

Kennel fees adds another £80 onto a week's holiday.

I don't and haven't owned a husky, but know people who do own them. They ar enot an easy breed and not great with small furries like cats as they have a very high prey drive. They are also not recomended to ever be let off the lead, as no matter how well trained, that prey drive will take over eventually and they will run and run and run.

Dogs are as much of a lifestyle as a pet. Everyting changes and it does mean days out etc are restricted, I won't kennel our dogs, so we have only been able to holiday when our oldest girl's breeder is able to have them, but now she can't have them and that means no hlidays for us.

Would you consider compromising on another breed if your husband insists he wants a dog now? That way, you can still own a cat and he can also have the pet he wants.

I only got our first dog because my husband desperately wanted one. I didn't, but agreed to look after it, walk it, train it etc. Now I am like some crazy dog lady wearing Golden Retriever jumpers...

midori Is that a jumper with Golden Retrievers knitted on it, a la The Apprentice wolf jackets, or your standard jumper with a generous coating of blonde 'angora'??

My beloved labs first home was with a family where dad and kids wanted a dog and mum didn't. She was left at home when they went off to work and school. He was not exercised trained or cared for properly. He was left shut up for long periods and not surprisingly destroyed their utility room. To punish him he was thrown out into the garden and left there where he destroyed things. Luckily they were persuaded to return him to the breeder at 6 month old when I got him. He was 35kilos, but acted like a 3 month old, biting weeing everywhere and had no manners at all. He is lovely now but it was over a year before he would go outside on his own without panicing.

The person who is going to do the work has to be the one who wants the dog.

And a husky is NOT a beginner's dog.

End of rant

That is my fear battery human. We both work and I do 8.45 to 3pm, so the poor thing will be on it's own for a minimum of 7 hours which is totally unfair! I can't pop back home as although I work locally, I will not be able to visit at lunch time. Plus my parents live 160miles away so it's a nights stay minimum and she has a cat too, so don't think an extra furry visitor would be appreciated lol!!!!

Also dh is a complete baby when it comes to vet treatment. with my cats condition he has to have regular blood tests, and shall we say when the vet took a needle to my cats neck, dh went very pale and had to get out of the room lol!!

I love dogs, I think they make great pets and compainions (sp) but only if they are looked after properly. I could never live with myself if we screwed one up in the head

Thanks for the replys has given me some ideas ;) maybe I could persuade him to have something a little easier and more suitable like a guinea pig which would be better and more easier for me to look after because at the end of the day it will be muggins here who will do all the work!!

Dillie, you can't get a dog if it's going to be alone for 7hrs straight. And that's that.

Yes, I agree, you cannot leave a puppy alone for long periods of time, and it will be very difficult to toilet train if somone is not there, and the risk of seperation anxiey is high.

Husky's do need a lot of daily time and effort to make sure they are getting sufficient exersize. (well, tbh, running for about 10 miles would be considered sufficient for a husky!) Maybe consider a calm breed like for example a Greyhound :D very low maintenance and there are cat friendly greyhounds that don't take any notice of cats.