Cat won't come downstairs

[LuckySalem]

Hiya all,

We've had a dog now for about 2 months and the cat still won't come downstairs.

The dog is very bouncy and will play with one of our cats (salem) but Lucky won't come down the stairs.

Am I being cruel in keeping this situation going?

Originally I thought it best to rehome the dog seeing as cat was here first but I can't help but think it'd be nicer on the cat if I rehomed her as everytime we have any change she panics and becomes like this (or pees everywhere)

EG: We had DD, she stared peeing on DD's clothes etc.
We had foster cats - she started hiding upstairs
we had a foster dog - she hid upstairs.

We are having another baby (due march) so she's going to do something again,

We want to get a dog eventually so even if I do rehome this one then she's going to have to go through it all again.

I dont want to rehome anything, they're ALL part of the family

Please HELP.

Is he normally an outside type of cat?

One of my mum's cats lives in the shoe cupboard (with litter tray and food nearby) - she seems happy enough....

I don't understand why you got a dog when you were aware that your cat is nervous and prone to stress....

Have you spoken to your vet? Maybe something like Feliway would help?

My cat is like this and other than having children we have done everything we can to minimise stress for her.

I had a similar thing with my cat. We inherited a kitten last year from a collegue and the original cat (Tom) went really odd.

He was hiding up in the garage rafters, wouldnt eat at normal times, and then would only when no one was around. When he was a kitten he used to "suck" and paw on blankets and he started doing that again. He also started to lose weight.

So concerned I took him to the vets and they suggested that he was depressed/stressed and they gave him some medication. Cant remember the name exactly but it was something like Zylkene. It is a milk protein, so not like valium or anything, but has the same affect. The results were amazing! It took a couple of weeks to work, but it did bring him around.

As it so happens although he was stressed because of the second cat (which was very sadly run over last month)he did have an underlying auto-immune disease that was only picked up by complete accident as I said at his check up that he looked pale to me.

I cant remember the technical name for the disease, but he has some sort of anemic autoimmune disease. His blood count was 15 (it should be 30ish) so was put on a high dose of cortizone (sp) tablets to stop his system attacking the red blood cells. That is now helping and is on a lower dose, but it looks like it could be a life long thing.

Forgive my rambling (its late :P ) but I would take Lucky to the vets, get him looked over and explain the situation. They should be able to help or at least suggest something. I am very fortunate in having an excellent vet practice to go to and they have been brilliant!

It could be that Lucky will need something to help her cope with the new baby anyway and the Zylkene stuff takes a few weeks to work

There is also a product called Feliway, which we had when I had an old cat who had cancer. It is a plug in and there is a bottle that looks like perfuem. We cant smell it, but it gives off pheremones similar to that of a kittens mother, that they find calming. This helped him cope with the treatments he had to endure before I decided the best and the hardest thing

Best of luck, I hope Lucky is feeling less stressed very soon

Lucky has had zyklene before when we had the foster cats etc and it did work but this time it didn't. It COULD be cos she needs to be on it longer as I rmember the vet saying that at some point

Will take her again as although she seems happy up there I feel for her.

She's normally outside but not that much, prefers luxuries I think.

Does the cat have to get past the dog to get outside, Lucky? Is there any way of restricting the puppy's access to the stairs and cat flap so the cat can get out? A dog gate would be ideal, so they can still see each other and - hopefully - get used to each other.

There is a babygate at the bottom of the stairs that Tizzy doesn't go past.
Lucky has been down to see her and they've sniffed through the bars and then she's hissed at her! lol, which is what I expected.

We dont have a catflap - they've always gone out the patio door (when its opened for them) which IS past the dog.

I'll look at making it so she doesnt have to go past the dog.

I would definitely recommend Feliway. A friend of mine used it with her tom after both her DCs were born. He was exhibiting very similar behaviour to Lucky - the peeing on clothes etc. He calmed down within days after the Feliway was plugged in.

I have also used it myself to help my tom settle during his confinement to a crate after a car hit him. It was clear to me that he was depressed and stressed out and thankfully my vet agreed - I was kind of expecting him to be a bit about it. It also helped very nervous girl cat deal with her brother being locked up. She would sit by his side - on the other side of the bars of the crate - and meow for him It really helped calm her.

We will have a similar situation ourselves when we get our pup later this year. I love my girl to pieces but I don't want to be dictated to by a cat! If I did, she would never visit the vet, stay in a cattery or even just have the occasional stroke from me. We did consider rehoming her too but she is the sister of our Tom and when he was in hospital she really pined for him. They are very different characters but they do love each other

If it's your own house, I'd really recommend getting a cat flap. We faffed for years with opening the back door because it's double glazed and we couldn't get a cat flap put in. FInally decided to bite the bullet and have a cat flap put in through the wall, and it's made our lives SO much better.

The balance of the house has changed entirely, all of our 4 cats are much more easy going and a lot less stressed.

I thought it would cost a bomb to have it put through the wall, but it was done by our plumber (anyone that regularly fits boilers will be able to do it as they use the same tools for making external vents) and the whole lot including the catflap and tunnel liners cost less than £100.

I'd also second Feliway though, but no amount of Feliway could ever make our house happier than having the catflap put in!

Will look into feliway.

Prob we hae is that I DO NOT want the cats coming and going at night as the area is not safe.

Last year I had to rescue Salem from one of the neighbourhood kids who were trying to tie a sparkler to his tail!

I will look into prices as if we can get one that'll lock at night then it's something I may consider doing.

Lucky - I recently got a catflap and it's changed my cats' lives too. I change the lock on it at dusk so they can only come in, not go out, because I don't like mine being out at night either. There are mega expensive ones but mine was just a standard 4 way lockable one from a pet shop for about £15. You can set it to completely locked, completely open, or in only or out only.

One of my girls lurks outside and scoots in as soon as she hears me change the lock

I've had mixed results with Zylkene but oyu do need to give it a month really. Feliway can also help, but I think running the gauntlet of the puppy is probably your cat's main concern.

Good luck.

Did you find that it was drafty?

We've got a hole in the wall at the moment that we HAVE to keep there apparently and it's FREEZING there.
Was thinking of changing that to the cat flap as I really want to seal it up but it's in the living room and I can't be doing with the draft no more. The only other place it could be put is the front door.

It's in our front door which faces due West on a very exposed site. Occasionally it has been known to be permanently ajar due to winds, but that's only if we have gales Otherwise no, not draughty.

Is your hole in the wall ventilation for your heating system? If so, better not put a cat flap in. Much as I love my cats, carbon monoxide poisoning is a step too far I fear

Easy peasy to put one in the door - dh not very good with wood but managed to do it quite quickly.

Surely you would have to get rid of the dog not the cat? at someone else getting rid of an animal when it no longer suits.

I had this exact same problem with my cat when we rescued our current dog.

It only lasted two weeks though. I thought that the cat still did not like the dog but tolerated him, untill yesterday when I caught them snuggled up on a blanket together.

I don't know if this helped at all, but while it was going on I made sure that upstairs was cat territory only and the dog was not allowed up there. I didn't take food up there only water. So he had to come down stairs to eat.

Every night I'd put the dog in the kitchen and bring the cat down. He got about 20/30 mins quality time alone, before DH would let the dog in and I held the cat (not forcibly) on my knee and kept the dog away.

Once the cat was comfortable with that situation I started letting the dog sniff the cat, dog still on floor. Untill eventually the cat was happy to move about the house and it wasn't such an object of interest to the dog.

Fab - I don't think LuckySalem wants to get rid of either animal "because it no longer suits". I think she is genuinely trying to decide what to do in the best interests of both cat and dog. I am sure that neither the decision to have a dog nor the prospect of rehoming the cat was a snap decision .

ShinyandNew - have made note of your tactics on introducing dog to cat and giving cat quality time. Sounds a great approach and will be interested to see how it works with our two cats when eventually we get our pup.

Cheers for your snap judgement fab.
all my animals are rescue animals and I would NEVER rehome cos it doesn't suit! As you can see I'm trying to find a solution to being able to keep both of them.

Shiny & New - upstairs is cat only, they are fed on the stairs behind a stair gate as they have been since before dog got here (child wanted to eat cat food! lol) so that hasn't changed.

I have tried putting the dog outside while Lucky has time with us and then letting Tizzy back in and she'll stay while she's being stroked but as soon as you let her go she's running up the stairs again and I'm trying to grab tizzy from following and making it worse.

Re: cat flaps - I didn't know that it was a carbon monozide thing! That's not a good place to put it then! lol
The front door is double glazed door - is it gonna be a hassle?

I haven't read all the replies as it's late, but I would say definitely hang in there.

Our two cats were so put out when we brought home our first lab puppy, they barely came in the house for three months. Once the pup settled down, they gradually got to know each other and now the cats adore the dog - they run up to greet her after her walks (and actually follow us on the walks if we're just going for a quick one round the block - that gets us some funny looks, I can tell you!), and they're always running up to her and rubbing themselves all over her, or snuggling up to her at night. Last July, we bought a new lab puppy, and it all started again. The cats went in a huge huff and hated the puppy, an exact repeat of last time. Gradually the pup calmed down and now the cats like her more than our first dog (as I write this, one of the cats is curled up next to the pup in front of the radiator!). Quite often I'll be in another room and here 'miaow, miaow, purrrr, purrr' followed by 'thump thump thump' as the puppy's tail hits off the wall because the cats weaving in and out of her legs rubbing against her! In fact, I think the cats like the dog more than they like me sometimes

Once the dog stops getting the urge to chase the cat, the cat will start to come around. The most important thing you can do at the moment is to teach the dog some impulse control with the 'sit', 'stay' and 'leave it' commands. Once she's got the 'sit stay' command mastered, you can use it when she tries to chase. If that doesn't work and she gets to the cat, you can tell her to leave it, which basically means 'move your head away', and then once you have her attention do the 'sit stay'. If you teach the 'leave it' command with treats first, then move on to toys, you can soon use it with the cats. I never thought our pup would get the 'leave it' command, but now I can leave a treat sitting on her paw and she won't touch it! And once she knew the command, it was very easy to translate it into 'leave the cat alone' because she knew if she moved her head away from the object (be it a treat, toy or furry lunch!) she got rewarded. Clicker training is also great - if she's mid-chase, often the click will stop her in her tracks, because she wants the treat. Another great command is 'gentle'. This should start during play with you - if she's being too rough, take your hand away and say 'gentle'. When she's giving kisses or being quiet, say 'gentle, good girl, gentle'. Then if she's ever being a big rough with the cat, you can use the command to tell her to be more careful. Gentle was the best command we ever taught the pup, as she quite often goes bulldozing in without realising that the cats aren't as roughty toughty as she is! But we tell her gentle and she usually just gives them a little kiss and then sits down next to them - it really is a handy trick to teach them! Another good idea is to tire the dog out with a big walk and her dinner, put the lead on her and wait for her to fall asleep. Then bring the cat in, and it can have a good sniff and investigate the dog whilst it's asleep, and there's no danger of the dog chasing if she wakes up because she's secured on the lead. Our cats always came in to investigate the sleeping monster! Then you can gradually move up to bringing the cat in while the dog's awake, again secured on the lead. Once the cat realises it won't be chased every time it sees the dog, it'll start to be more confident.

Sorry for rambling on, and sorry if I've repeated anything. But please don't give up, it might feel like it's hopeless but they will learn to live peacefully in the end. They might not ever become friends, but things will become more civilised as the dog settles down and the cat realises it's not going to become dinner. So many times I was in tears wondering what on earth I'd done bringing a dog in, but now I wouldn't change things for the world.

Sorry I also meant to add, have you tried one of those DAP defusers? They can really help nervous cats to feel more secure in their environment.

MrsL123 - That is BRILLIANT thank you

We're slowly working on the stop command. Although I really do need to give it a command rather than just "hey tizzy, no" lol. and she does stop mid chase now so we're getting there and I can distract her from starting the chase if I tell her to sit when she starts looking.

We have a leave it, which again is slowly being worked on and slowly working.

Can I ask - do you think it's hurting the cat being upstairs? She still has regular contact with us (about as much as she'll tolerate) and I do bring her down to go outside now and then (less with the weather at the mo) so while they're learning to get along am I being cruel?

I don't think so - my cats spend most of their lives upstairs out of choice! I don't know about yours, but ours sleep for 90% of the day (usually in the same spot - on the end of my bed!). They occasionally get up to eat or pester the dog, but mostly they sleep. Some days, they won't even get up for a drink or a wee! They're so lazy.

When we brought the pup home we put a baby gate up on the spare bedroom and the cats had their bed, litter tray and food / water bowls in there, and it was their little sanctuary where they knew they were safe. They could come out if they wanted to, but were under no pressure. The food and water went to them, and the dog was never allowed to sit at the gate and harrass them (we put a blanket over the gate so it was more of a solid barrier, after we caught the dog pawing through the bars!). They also had the DAP diffuser plugged in (it releases the same pheramones as when they rub their cheeks on things - their happy smell!). You can also get it as a spray to use on their bedding. Spray it liberally on the dog lol! What sort of bed does she have? One of our cats is quite nervous and she sleeps in her cat carrier with a blanket over the top to make a little den - she likes it because it makes her feel really secure, and it also helps a lot when it comes to taking her to the vet because she knows the carrier is her safe place. And if we need to move it she doesn't get stressed out because it's still the same bed. Cats are really funny creatures - even moving the furniture can freak them out.

And remember, it's her choice to be upstairs, so don't feel guilty. She could have gone out and stayed away for days like ours did, but she chose to make upstairs her safe place, and you've respected that by putting the gate up and keeping the dog downstairs, so she'll venture down when she's ready. Until then, just spoil her with a few treats (ours love the freeze dried prawns and fish bits you get in tubes from pets at home) and let her know she's still the boss!

I'll tell you a funny story about when we got our first dog - it was just before bonfire night, and the cats were still barely coming in the house. When all the fireworks started going off, I went into the garden and started shouting for Rosie, (our nervous cat) convinced she was cowering in a bush somewhere too terrified to move. A few minutes later there was a knock at the door, and it was a woman that lives behind me. She'd heard me shouting Rosie, and came to inform me that she was in her house, fast asleep in her cat's radiator bed, where she'd also been several nights previously! Apparently my scared-of-everything cat had wandered through this stranger's cat flap one day, ate all her cat's food, and then made herself comfortable in the bed! Brazen hussy! The woman said her cat didn't mind and she was such a nice cat that she didn't have the heart to put her out, so she ended up coming back again and again and taking advantage. She still goes there quite often for a sneaky bit of dinner!

It wasn't a snap opinion. You were talking about rehoming a cat you had had longer because she was scared of the new imcoming dog. It seems to me that this could be resolved with work so thinking about rehoming before doing this, did seem to me a bit mean. JMO.

Fab re-read my first message.
I said I wanted help to fix it and that I dont want to rehome any of them cos they're all family.

Of course I want to work with her, if I wanted to just get rid like a lot of people who do it cos it "no longer suits" then do you think I'd have been trying to work on it for 3 months and STILL asking for help?

I appreciate what your saying cos I've been there and heard the thousands of excuses that people give for rehoming their pet when they might as well say "I can't be arsed" Just read before you say anything.

MrsL - She has her own duvet up there, she sleeps on our bed (when OH isn't looking!! lol) and has 3 scratching posts up there, Tiz is a collie so putting a blanket is no good cos she can just literally stand with her front feet on the gate. lol.
Maybe that's just what she wants to do then? I have no problem with her wanting to do that as long as I can work it out so she can go outside and isn't cooped up, upstairs. THATS the part I feel cruel about.

If a situation like this cannot be resolved, then rehmoing has to be considered.

IMO Lucky is one of the people on here least likely to 'get rid of an animal when it no longer suits'.

She also makes this clear in her OP.

A wee apology to an owner already feeling guilty might not be amiss, Fab

"Originally I thought it best to rehome the dog seeing as cat was here first but I can't help but think it'd be nicer on the cat if I rehomed her as everytime we have any change she panics and becomes like this (or pees everywhere)"