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Is it fair to take this dog? (Sorry for massive essay)

9 replies

Noseprawn · 01/01/2010 09:32

Will try and keep it as short as I can.

Background: MIL and FIL got a puppy about six years ago at MILs insistence. It's a Havanese. A year later MIL left and didn't take the dog. Shortly afterwards myself and DH moved in and lived there for three years - deeply bonded to the dog and vice versa. We left about a year ago. Dog now lives with FIL and SIL.

FIL has a girlfriend now and very often wants to stay out overnight a few times a week and go away for weekends etc etc. For long reasons SIL cannot/will not commit to being at home on particular nights. Since FIL got his new girlfriend the dog has been shipped from pillar to post, spending a few days at home, then going to MILs for a few days, few days in kennels, few days at neighbours, occasionally to us. Very little stability. He is starting to exhibit what the vet has called anxiety symptoms, obsessively chewing his paws and scratching constantly (other stuff has been ruled out).

FIL also has two cats, one who couldn't care less about the dog and one who is terrified of it, lives in the loft (where FIL has his office) and pulls out its own fur (again, diagnosed as anxiety stuff). This has been getting worse over the past 18 months.

We are moving soon and would like to take the dog, just for the stabiity and also for the sake of the cat. FIL is open to the idea but there is absolutely no question of FIL allowing the dog to be rehomed with anyone else.

I work 3 x 12 hour shifts a week so dog may be on his own for three days. If any of the shifts are on the weekend then obviously my hubby will be here. I can usually get home for an hour at lunchtime, but not always. A dog walker would be employed to come for an hour those days (we would also walk the dog morning/evening, obviously). It would have free access to a secure garden.

At the moment the dog is rarely if ever left alone as FIL works from home (up in the loft, the dog is not in the same room with him during working hours), but seems to be OK when he is.

Also, FIL does not attend to the grooming of the dog at all. Havanese have long hair, whcih he likes but does not effectively brush or comb. It becomes VERY matted, sometimes to the point where his back leg is joined by a web to his tummy, making movement difficult. We arrange for him to be groomed whenever we see him but this really annoys FIL so it's very touchy. He isn't great at taking him to the vets either.

Can we, fairly, rehome this dog?

OP posts:
CMOTdibbler · 01/01/2010 09:36

I think the dog will have a lot better life with you than with FIL tbh. You've obv thought it all through, so go for it !

thedogsgottago · 01/01/2010 09:43

Take the dog, if you're getting a dog walker to break up the day and walking it morn and night then it'll be getting alot more excersise than most dogs, we walk ours twice a day, it can be a bit of a pain, but once your on the walk its not so bad!

BellasSparklyBaubles · 01/01/2010 11:08

No brainer - take the dog

purpleduckUnderTheMistletoe · 01/01/2010 11:21

Absolutely!!

norfolkBRONZEturkey · 01/01/2010 11:22

Agreed take the dog

Vallhala · 01/01/2010 12:22

No question about it - of course he'll be far happier with you. I'd even go so far as to say that it would be unkind NOT to take him if you're able to.

Noseprawn · 01/01/2010 12:53

Cool, wasn't expecting such a positive response! You don't think leaving a dog who is never alone, alone for up to six hours three times a week is unfair? That's my worry.

OP posts:
minimu · 01/01/2010 12:58

I think you are right to be concerned but feel that these things could be dealt with.

You will need to find a way to manage the days you are away working. A dog walker twice a day on those days would be good.

You will also need to give a bit of time to allow the dog is settle on his own for short periods first before he is left for several hours.

newpup · 01/01/2010 13:46

Not ideal for the dog to be left for 6 hours at a time but if a dog walker came in to break this up and he was walked in the am or pm as well it sounds like a much better life than he has now.

Agree with minimu that you need to break him in to being on his own for short periods first otherwise he could become even more stressed out.

Overall though sounds like you know what you are taking on and will give him a much better life!

Good Luck!

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