i dont know what to do i am so torn

[cheeryface]

we are a family of animal lovers. we have wanted a dog for a long long time but my son (10) has severe hayfever , mild asthma and would always react to mils dog , so we never have had one.

a recent skin prick test was negative to dogs but i am not sure they are completely
reliable. he hasnt been around dogs for 18 months since mil moved away and none of our friends have any.

now, we know of a dog for sale, a lovely shih tzu. the people are expecting another baby and have too many commitments to give him full attention. we desperately want him but i am worried ds will react and i will have to break his heart by rehoming.

what would you do ?

we have thought a lot about owning a dog . i am home all day and i walk everywhere etc etc.

I wouldn't risk it, tbh. I am desperate for a dog, and we got as far as choosing a puppy, when DS1 suddenly erupted. His face swelled up, his breathing was affected, and he came out in hives. It took 24 hours for the symptoms to go. DS1 is allergic to dog saliva. So, we got a kitten. One day later, DH was struggling for breath. We returned the kitten, everyone crying, and it took a week for DH to improve. Now we have chickens.

Oh, and DS1 has asthma and hayfever, and had never reacted to a dog before.

Do you know any other dog owners? MAybe let ds spend a bit of time with their dog and see how he reacts?

Not nice if he does get an asthma attack, I know, but less heart breaking than letting him think he's getting his own then having to give it up.

why dont you look after the dog for a weekend - the owners can see how they really feel about not having him around and you can give him back if your DS reacts?

I wouldn't without "testing" it first. Do you know the current owners? Could you spend a few hours with the shih tzu?

Would you consider other breeds (poodle, schnauzer) which may not shed which might be better for DS? (NB no guarantees that these will not affect someone with allergies - my friend grew up with a standard poodle and was fine, allergic to all other dogs, but I also know people who are allergic to any animal they meet)

oops, x-posts

no, we dont know the owners . as far as i can gather shih tzus dont shed and are on the lesser allergenic list, like poodles.

i wonder if they would take the dog back if he reacted, i dont know.

ive been thinking allsorts , like pretending to ds we are only looking after it for someone so he doesnt get attached etc etc

sorry to hear that chickenshavenolips
what breed of dog were you going to get? i know some are supposed to be better than others but none guaranteed.

my other ds is allergic to cats but i dont really want a cat anyway tbh.
we have guinea pigs but they are outside in a hutch as ds2 reacts to the hay they eat , may even be the guineas themselves but wouldnt really know.

I am allergic to cats. Especially long haired adult cats. My mum rescued a long haired kitten, while I was living at home. I had a few days of runny noses and red eyes then all was fine.

After I moved home, I lived without cats, for possibly the first time EVER. When I visited my mum it was hell. I once rang my friend at 3am to take me to get anti histamine. She wanted to take me to A and E I looked that bad.

I could either stop visiting my mum or make her rehome her beloved cat. Niether of which I wanted to do.

I got my own short haired kittens. Again a few days oif runny noses and red eyes and all was fine. I now only react to my mums cat if his hair is on a pillow or something I am laying on. And rarely react to my own short haired cat. I get a bit itchy and dry eyed while brushing him. But it stops as soon as I fininsh and splash my face with cold water.

The allergy tests showed that I was VERY allergic to cats.

Not sure what the point of this post is actually Probably if your ds is allergic, after a while he will become resistant to it?

I definately wouldn't get a dog, with the consideration you may rehome again. T'is not fair on the dog, My rescued dog is only settling now. After being here two weeks. I couldn't imagine putting him through the trauma of rehoming again. Much like children, dogs need stability and consistancy.

Ask friends if you can visit their dogs and see if ds reacts or nor if you are unsure, plaese do not rehome this dog.

The dog was a labradoodle. We were trying to minimise risk, because of his asthma. Sadly, all dogs produce spit, so it's a no go for us. DS does go to people's houses who have dogs, and as long as he isn't licked he's ok (although I always give him a dose of antihistamine beforehand). I would definitely agree with the above advice to let your DS mix with dogs outside the home, and see how he goes. Bringing a dog into the house, even for a short time, might have longer term consequences for your DS. DH was very unwell for a good week, and that was with me hoovering/dampdusting/mopping daily. The allergens can stay airborne for quite some time.

Personally, I wouldn't do it - not with asthma in the equation and previous reactions to your MIL's dog.

afaik all allergies have the potential to become more serious with repeated exposure.

Plus the emotional heartache of having to rehome a dog - again.

I do feel for you though.

we dont really know anyone with a dog around here.
dh did take ds into a flower shop where they have a bichon Frise and he played with it.
there was no rash where it had licked but the next day his eyes looked a bit red and he was a bit snotty.
trouble is that could have been the flowers couldnt it.

its the skin prick test that gave me hope, he reacted to pollen on it that day but absolutely nothing to dogs. just not sure i can fully trust that though.

Kennel club info on dogs and asthma here:

here

Are you close to any kennels or rehoming centers that might let you visit the dogs there?

I trusted the allergy tests that I had. They were very accurate. I am allergic to cats, dust and grass/hay. I'm not allergic to feathers and pollen. Which I find to be true.

But, don't take the risk unless you are sure. It might not have even been mil's dog that caused the reaction. It could have been an air freshner/pollen from flowers/washing powder/different heating system.

Still, do not rehome the dog unless you are 100% sure that you can keep it.

My dad is allergic to dogs but has his own, a great big furry flat coat retriever, but he has a similar situation to shinyandnew. When he's away from dogs - when he didn't own one, or even when we had family holidays for a couple of weeks away from our dog, dog encounters will start his eyes watering, nose running etc. But once he lives with the dog for a few days his body gets used to it and he's fine again. He also suffered from childhood asthma and gets bad hayfever, but he wouldn't be without a dog. It does take him a few days to get over the symptoms though, so an encouter for a few hours wouldn't show if your ds would react the same way.
How about fostering a dog? When I was a child our dog died when she was 13, begged my mum to get another but as she was a full time teacher with 2 teenage daughters she said no, v. sensibly, we did however foster a labrador for a few weeks during the school summer holidays, while it was looking for a new home. This one had been rehomed because it had killed its owners prize show kittens. There are many dogs out there who require foster homes when they need to leave their current home and wait for a new one. This might be a great way for you to test a dog with your ds but know that it would be leaving soon anyway, and you might even be able to give it a home if it worked out. I think ours came through a breed rescue organisation so you could try those, or try the local rescue centres?

I am just like Littleb's dad - allergic to strabge dogs but once I have shared a house with one for a couple of weeks I am fine. My last dog died earlier this year and we got a puppy 4 weeks ago - he made me a bit wheezy and itchy for the first ciouple of weeks but now no symptoms. I have to say if I had visited kennels or rehoming centres to see how I reacted we would never have got a dog! Took my pup to a frinds house last night to meet her dog but had to use my inhaler there as I am not so used to her dog. It's the constant contact that seems to make me ok with indiviual dogs. The fostering sounds good as it would give you a chance to see how he is over several weeks but knowing in advacne that you wouldn't be keeping it.

It seems a huge leap to take if you are unsure if you DS is allergic. There must be dog clubs near you you could visit or even a local kennels or rescue centre.

The risks if it doesn't work out to me would mean I would check things out in detail first. You DS could become very ill and the dog could be tramatised if you rehome again. I would take a bit of time and reseach this carefully. Get the dog blanket from the current owners and put near your son. But personally I would not argue with the allergy tests if he is allergic then he is. Is desensitisation treatment via your local hospital?

Hope it all works out for you all.

allergies are strange arent they. there was a time when ds seemed to be fine with mils dogs and then the allergy came back again.

the fostering idea sounds a good one.
i was also wondering if the people selling the shih tzu might just be understanding enough to aggree to take him back should things not work out. obviously we would lose some money but still, id know then.

from what i ahve heard skin prick tests are supposed to be pretty acurate but for some reason im not sure i trust them.

the test for dogs was NEGATIVE
it was grass pollen that was positive.
i suppose he could have outgrown it over the 18 months since he reacted.

Do the skin prick tests check for all allergens relating to an animal? Or was it just dander? If I were you, I would definitely let your DS mix with some dogs (you can volunteer to walk dogs at the local RSPCA shelter) and see what happens before bringing one into the home. We were heartbroken when we had to say no to the puppy, and in floods of tears when we had to hand back the kitten. FWIW, I know how it feels to really want a dog, and have your plans thwarted, and it's horrible

shih tzu dogs are classed as hypo-allergenic.as they have hair and not fur there for shed less and react less to people who have dog allergy best thing to do is get dog to spend time with your son and see if he has a reaction i know many allergy sufferers who do have a shih tzu with no reactions at all

all i know with the tests is that a few years ago he was given a blood test (rast) which is an indication to support what you think you are allergic to , and they said yes allergic to dogs.

this time he had a skin prick test. they put on grass pollen , dust mite , cat , dog and tree pollen. the only one that came up in a wheal was the grass pollen.

i assume it was cat and dog dander but other than that i dont know.

ds was whooping with joy, telling us all he could now have a dog . i questioned it saying that i was aware the tests arent 100% and the doctor said 'well, i would believe that'
ive had dodgy advice before though from doctors so not sure.

i really feel for you chickenshavenolips (greatname btw) first the puppy and then the kitten

we want a dog so bad its bordering on the obsessive

dh has suggested talking to the shih tzu owners and seeing how amenable they are although i suspect they wont want to know.

It seems that you are really desperate for this dog but are not just hoping the results are fine so you can have the dog, so

Have another test, spend some time at a rescue place to see if your son reacts?

dh has phoned about the shih tzu. the lady says she will take him back if it doesnt work out.

he told her he would speak to me and get back to her.

i am suddenly nervous about it all, i am scared of making ds2 ill.

i so want it though

bet you all think im bonkers!!

I don't think you are bonkers. I love dogs. After my SBt was in an accident I vowed no more because of the heartache when you lose them. That was about three months ago.

Our new addition joined us about two weeks ago and is currently snuggled up by my feet, looking forward to starting training classes on Sunday.

I would tell DS that you are just minding the dog though, so he doesn't get too attatched if it needs to go back.

thanks shiny. thats what i had thought to tell him too. really sorry to hear about the accident.