Cat advice - should I get him rehomed? Long (sorry)

[cakeywakey]

I have a problem with one of my cats. He was a stray who moved in with us a few years ago. He gets on fine with our other cat, and most other local cats (has the occasional scrap but nothing major) but tries to kill one of my next door neighbour's cat whenever he sees him. The feeling between them is mutual.

After an incident where the other cat had to go to the vet after a fight, my neighbour and I worked out a one in, one out system. Her cat goes out during the day, mine goes out at night. We let each other know by text when it's safe to let them loose.

Friends of mine think that we should just let the cats fight it out, but I want to be on good terms with my neighbour and would hate for either of the cats to be seriously injured.

We've had some problems recently as my neighbour works shifts and we haven't been as early as we could have been getting our cat in for various reasons - meaning that her cat hasn't gone out that day. Her cat can't go out at night as he won't come back in. She's been understandably annoyed as it's not fair on her cat to be cooped up.

It's also getting a bit much for me in that I have to keep doors and windows closed during most days - including the sweltering heat - and have to operate an airlock system when people are coming in and out of the house, I'm bringing shopping in or going to hang the washing out. It's beginning to get to me, especially with DD around. I'm also weary of having to explain the rules to visitors and houseguests.

In general, I just don't think it's fair on us, our neighbour or either of the cats. Would I just be better finding him a new home where he can come and go as he pleases? I've asked a few friends but noone can help. What should I do?

Are the cats neutered?

Yes, they both are.

I think keeping them apart may be making it worse especially if they can see the other cat on their territory.
A lot of people say just let them get on with it and one of them make back down after a fight but then others say they might always fight and harm each other.
There's some good advice here

Thank you for the advice. Both cats were out at the same time for quite a few months when our cat first moved in, but it just seemed to be escalating to be honest. And even if I was willing to try it, I really don't think my neighbour would be That's why I'm thinking of rehoming, because I just can't see it getting better and I'm just so tired of the situation - for all of us.

Does he have lots of redeeming features that will make him easy to rehome?

If so I would.

Err, he's cute and has beautiful markings but he does like sticking his face in drains and catching and eating pigeons. He's a proper boy. He also has a tendency to scent-mark in the house - which could be linked to the cat next door.

On the other hand he has a lovely temperament and just wants to be loved, although he's not a lap cat.

Have you tried any sort of cat behaviourists or their websites etc? Do you have a vet you could speak to?
I posted on here about rehoming my cat a few days ago, got some useful advice but also called my vet who gave me some ideas to try.

What does your neighbour think? Have you talked to her at all? After all, it is not just down to you is it? She might have a solution? (Or want to rehome her cat, or move, or something; unlikely but these things do happen).

I don't think that my neighbour would ever want the two of them to meet again. When my cat has got out by accident (visitors forgetting the airlock door rules) she's been very worried and upset about the two of them meeting and the possible consequences of it. It's definite no on rehoming her cat and she has no plans to move at the minute - which I'm glad about because she's a good neighbour.

It's a good idea to talk to the vet though, I'll give them a call for advice. They say that the spraying is probably something fixed from when he was younger and that I won't be able to change it now. But that's not the main issue really

My vet was helpful on my problems (soiling inside) and also recommended a behaviourist. I spoke to her briefly on the phone, she charges for a home visit, but even her few little bits of advice have made a difference so far. I think charges about £200 for a home visit though!!!! SO v expensive, depending on how attached you are to your cat! Also, am not sure really what they could do.

Is there any way of stopping access to each other? Could eg your neighbours rear garden be enclosed in such a way that another cat can't get access? (eg high fences, spiked fences, etc) so your cats could be outside together and not meet. Or even a 'run'? My old neighbours had this for their pedigree cats, it was a bit like a chicken run!

I am surprised though - I didn't think cats tended to fight to injure, just until it was clear who won.

If you do decide to get him rehomed, the vet could recommend some local charities etc who do this. Mine gave me a list of numbers to ring.

Poor you. It does sound like a bit of a nightmare. I have to pick up every piece of clothing/toys/etc from the floor so my cat doesn't toilet on them - nightmare with 2 yr olds!!!!

Penona, it must be horrible having to keep the floors so clear - I'd never be able to keep it up! Hope you can train your cat out of the habit.

Thank you for your advice, I am definitely going to give the vet a call tomorrow. At least I can feel that I'm trying to do something constructive. I'll also have a chat with my neighbour. I think she'll be sad that we're considering rehoming, and we may be able to review what we're currently doing to make it easier on us all.

Thank you everyone, I really appreciate it.

Just to say that keeping the cats apart is making it worse and the best would be to let them fight it out, that's what would happen in nature. One of them would end up being the dominant one and the other one would have to accept it. Cats do injure each other sometimes, but usually it's not too bad. Good Luck!

I'd be willing to consider letting them scrap it out and get it off their fuzzy chests - but I would say that as my cat is likely to come out relatively unscathed. It wouldn't be an option with my neighbour though.

We have had a chat though and are trying a revised system to make things easier on us. Still one-in-one-out though.

Can you and your neighbour try zyklene. Its meant to be a stress relieving pill, herbal, should make them calmer and hopefully stop the fighting. You need to go to vets to get it so check with them that its the right thing.
I know it works for toileting and fireworks.