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Is there a dog which is good with children, OK with being left alone 3 days a week for around 9 hrs each time - and small

76 replies

Paolosgirl · 08/08/2009 22:51

Or am I being completely ridiculous?

We've been talking about getting a dog (our first one) for a long time, but understand it's a huge commitment. We have 3 children, but I work p/t, 3 days a week and so it would be on it's own for that time - which is what's stopped us up til now. We also don't have a mahoosive garden or house, so would like a small breed - or am I being unrealistic? Any suggestions or ideas gratefully received!

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Paolosgirl · 09/08/2009 21:15

Thanks Mollie

There's some real differences of opinion on here - so difficult to know what to do for the best.

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beckysharp · 09/08/2009 21:24

I'm really interested in this dilemma. I think this depends quite a lot on the breed, and the dog's personality.

I got my dog when I was home full time, and I never left him for more than 3-4 hours - usually it was much much less that that. He is a gundog and although not trained for field work he has that mentality where he is either 'on' - when he is with me, loads of energy, full attention or 'off' if I'm not there - lies down and goes to sleep.

He will be three this autumn and for the past year I have had a part time job. I work three days a week from 8.30-1 so I am out of the house for just over 5 hours (live very close to work). If I think I'll be delayed at work, or have to run an errand afterwards then I pop home for 20mins in the morning, or have the dog walker come (central London, £12 a go), but sometimes it just doesn't work out and he might be on his own for up 6 hours - perhaps once every couple of weeks. Sometimes at the weekend we do go somewhere he can't come and we might leave him for that long - perhaps one weekend in 5 or 6.

He is absolutely fine. No weird behaviours, no boredom, never ever destructive. Is this because he was close to me all the time when he was a young puppy, or just because he is laid back? Although being left for so long is not a regular thing, it isn't once in a blue moon either. His daily routine at the beginning and end of the day remains the same all the time - does this give him a good sense of security? He is an intelligent hound (although sadly can't seem to learn to walk nicely on leash!) - does he just know I'll come back and that he should wait patiently? I genuinely don't think I have my head in the sand here - he is a genuinely contented, laid back, healthy dog.

In contrast, my friend's labradoodle (4yrs old) becomes absolutely hysterical if he is left on his own for more than an hour.

I think if you will be in this situation from the word go, though, it won't work for you, OP. Puppies need just vast amounts of time and attention, consistently. The dog won't understand that you'll be around tomorrow; only that you're not here today.

Hobnobfanatic · 09/08/2009 21:43

No responsible breeder or rescue centre would home a dog to you if it was going to be left for more than 4 hours routinely. Anyone that would sell you a dog would be a puppyfarmer, not caring for the dog's wellbeing. So you'd end up with a sickly dog that could cost you hundreds in vet fees, behaviourist fees, and possibly heartache,

The only option would be a dog-walker/sitter for the days that the dog is left, or to take the dog to work. A pup would be too destructive and lively, but an older, rescued dog could fit the bill. A retired Greyhound (4 years old ish) would love to lie around under a desk all day. Worth considering if you don't have cats.

arolf · 09/08/2009 22:26

well, my parents got their dogs from several reputable breeders, none of whom kicked up a fuss about 2-3 days a week of the dogs being left at home. Yes, it's not the optimal situation, but it's not the end of the world for the dogs to be unstimulated (?!) for a few hours - I would be uncomfortable leaving a single dog alone, but 2 or 3 dogs together act like a pack - ours have the run of the house, and only chew their own toys. they are not particularly well trained, but were disciplined (i.e. told 'No!') when they were littler, and so are fine now. People always comment on how lovely the dogs are, even the vets, whereas several family friends who never leave the dog for more than an hour at a time, make sure dog is always being stimulated and always give the dog attention have ended up with neurotic hounds who howl whenever they want attention. (btw, I know my parent's dogs do not do this, as on occasion when I was at home studying, they were left downstairs for up to 8 hours at a time alone, and there were NO problems.)

Basically Paolosgirl, it's up to you and your family what you'd be comfortable with. Speak to your local vet and maybe a local dogs home, and see what they think - they are far less likely to be hugely judgemental of you than a load of annoymous strangers are! And if it's the only option, then a dog walker 2 or 3 days a week isn't such a bad idea!

Paolosgirl · 09/08/2009 22:30

Thanks Arolf - I really appreciate your suggestions and advice

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bella21 · 09/08/2009 22:39

So what if, by some miracle, your new dog or dogs doesn't chew everything/howl/wee and poo everywhere while you are out?

What happens when they get old? And incontinent? Or ill? Are you going to leave the dog for 9 hours then?

I don't think there's much point me saying any more since you only acknowledge and thank the very small minority of people on this thread who agree with you.

Pity that the RSPCA and all reputable breeders and shelter would say no too.

NeedOpinions · 09/08/2009 22:48

Just because some dogs "seem happy" to b eleft for over 4hrs it doesn't make it right.
They are pack animals and you become thier pack when you take them in.
My Dachsie has 2 cats as his pack,as well as me and 4yr old dd and a dogflap.He has total freedom and his pack around him but I really wouldn't leave him regularlyfor the length of time you are talking about-just not fair.Also,as a previous poster mentioned-after 9hrs out of home,would you be prepared to take it out for proper exercise?

purpleduck · 09/08/2009 23:09

Hmmm,
I have 2 dogs, and was basically a SAHM for their puppy days. Puppies DEF can't/shouldn't tolerate being on their own for that amount of time. I would only leave mine for an hour or so.

That said..... I was at uni one day a week when we got our second dog, and we got a dog walker. Generally the dogs were out for nearly 2 hours, so they were only on their own for a few hours straight.

Now I work part time. The dogs are on their own for 7 hours. They get a good run first thing in the day, and they are fine. I think this is because they are a bit older (3 and 5), they have each other, and they have the run of the house.

I'm not sure I would consider a dog if I didn't have the time to devote in the beginning - but if I did I would look into a dog walker (for an older dog - like if you wre to get a rescue dog), or a dog sitter for a younger dog.

BTW, we have a greyhound and we hardly know we have her - she sleeps ALOT!!! And a mongrel. Both are lovely with the kids but we got them as pups, so trained them to be that way

Hobnobfanatic · 09/08/2009 23:17

Here's what Dogs Trust says on its site. It has a factsheet for working owners, too...

If you work full time???..is it fair to have a dog?

We are often asked if it is possible to adopt a dog from our Rehoming Centres if the prospective owners work full-time and the dog would have to be left alone all day. As a general rule, the answer is usually no. We do not recommend that a dog should be left alone for longer than four hours at a time. Even if there is a secure outdoors area where they could spend the day, they could become very bored, distressed and possibly destructive.

If you are considering taking on a puppy rather than an older dog, the potential problems can be greatly increased. If you are trying to housetrain a puppy the process becomes very complicated and drawn out (sometimes impossible) if they are not constantly supervised. Puppies particularly must have human company during the first year in order that they can be socialised and trained correctly to avoid future problems of aggression and fear. All too often these puppies grow up and then end up in our Rehoming Centres because their owners cannot cope with them any longer.

There may be some exceptions however, where we may rehome an older dog (or dogs) to a family where the owners are out all day. This may be when the owners are prepared to employ a dog walker to walk the dog and give him some company during the day, or when one of the owners is able to take him to work, so you may want to consider these options if you are desperate to have a dog.

A dog?s owner is his pack leader and without the leader many dogs become insecure and anxious. With the leader away, many dogs take on the duty of guarding the home and will bark at any noise or sight from outside all day long. Whilst this is great security, there is a good chance that it will upset your neighbours and you may end up in trouble with your local council. If you are lucky enough to find two dogs who are very? bonded? together and prefer each other?s company to that of humans, then they will be less distressed at being left alone ? however, they may not make ideal family pets. You will still have to ensure that they do not become bored and make sure that they are able to get out for ?toilet breaks?. In most cases though, it makes no difference if the dog has the company of another dog, as it is the owner that he/she misses. There are of course individuals that may not mind being left for a long period of time, but it really is impossible to predict if a puppy will end up like this.

If you are out at work all day and are planning to get a dog or puppy without making any provision for his mental and physical welfare during this time, please reconsider carefully. Perhaps it would be better for all concerned, to delay owning a dog until your circumstances have changed. If you are considering adopting a dog from Dogs Trust, please contact your nearest Rehoming Centre directly for more information and advice.

oneopinionatedmother · 09/08/2009 23:41

i think you need to consider what happens when you leave your dog all day and come back to find it has 1) WEED ON THE FLOOR 2) chewed the furntiure 3) chewed its self, leaving nasty wounds on is legs/tail 4) barked all day, upsetting the neighbours and then jumps all over you/ bites in frustration. 5) tunnelled in the walls destroying the plaster

would you tolerate that? or will you rehome them, upsetting for you and your dcs who have bonded with the dog? And for the dog, possibly a step on the way to being put down?

My mum is a very reputable breeder who wouldn't sell to someone who worked 2 days a week for this reason - even though they were nice and otherwise an excellent home.

I ended up with a dog alone all day for three days but that was just how it worked out - if she dies we won't get another until i have stopped work permanently.

there is no particular breed you can be sure to tolerate this - or age (though yes, a retired greyhound would probably sleep all day, but would greyhound rescue home a dog with you? not sure about that.)

now i know people leave their dogs for longer/ more often that - but that doesn't make it right.

HopeForTheBestExpectTheWorst · 10/08/2009 12:58

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn on request of the poster.

MmeLindt · 10/08/2009 13:35

We have a Maltese Terrier/Cavalier King Charles and she fits all of your criteria (The French name is Bichon Maltese, they look very similar to Bichon Frise)

I leave her up to 5 hours alone, 6 at a push but not regularly.

But even that I did not do until she was settled here. Leaving her for even an hour when she was very young was tough.

The good thing about a small dog like the Bichon is that they are pretty portable. I take mine just about everywhere, even into town. I do admit that we live in Switzerland where this is not a problem, even taking her into cafes or restaurants is not frowned upon.

I would not leave her as long as 8 hours three times a week. If I had to work all day, then I would look for a dog sitter.

If we want to go away all day then I have to ask a friend to look after her, or at least come over at lunch time to take her out.

Paolosgirl · 10/08/2009 13:39

Bella - if you read all my posts, you'll that I've thanked everyone. From Sun @ 20.22 - "I posted looking for suggestions and advice, and it's all been great - thanks"
I genuinely do appreciate all the advice and vviews.

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stleger · 10/08/2009 13:57

Was your dh wondering about taking the potential dog to work? I know a Yorkie who works in an office (he was an adult when rescued) and a corgi who greets people at a garage. I also know a cat who supervises a garden centre. So dogs at work can work. My dog cane to work one day and very quietly ate his lead...

MmeLindt · 10/08/2009 14:01

If I worked in an office, I could easily take my dog with me. She sleeps all day at my feet anyway.

stleger · 10/08/2009 14:05

I love seeing continental dogs in cafes!

Paolosgirl · 10/08/2009 16:08

Yes, dh has wondered aloud whether he could take it to work - he's an accountant, and has his own office, so it might be one solution, providing his boss allows it. They are fairly relaxed, so I think I might push him on that idea. Do you think it might work?

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beckysharp · 10/08/2009 16:18

That would be a brilliant solution. When I worked in publishing we had two office dogs - a golden retriever and a smelly mongrel called Sid! We all loved them.

I still thing a puppy might just be impossible for you though - training takes a long time and I can't imagine a semi trained, bouncy 10 month old puppy in an accountancy firm!

MmeLindt · 10/08/2009 16:45

Depends on the puppy. My dog is just 10 months and sleeps most of the day. If your DH would take the dog out for a quick walk at lunchtime, it would certainly be feasible.

I would be more worried about the first couple of months, till the puppy is properly housetrained. Your DH's boss may be easygoing but if he were to tread in dog poo in the office, perhaps less so.

I can definitely recommend a Maltese/Cavalier (also called Maltalier I believe) in this case. Our pup is so laid back she would be a great office dog.

Blondeshavemorefun · 10/08/2009 17:38

MmeLindt how cute is daphne - and so diddy!!

10.5 stone monster great swiss mountian puppy says hello to fellow swiss

fruitymum · 10/08/2009 17:42

We have a labrador who is great with DD age 3, I am currently on mat leave but usually work 3 days a week - when Struie is on her own from 7.30 am - 5ish - no problem .
She is however 6 years old and has the run of the house although seems to spend most of her time asleep in the conservatory!

MmeLindt · 10/08/2009 17:44

blondes
Let's hope your pony dog does not take too much of a liking to Daphne. She is about the right size for a midmorning snack for your dog, I don't even think that she is 1/2 stone.

Hobnobfanatic · 10/08/2009 17:46

The Blue Cross has an annual Take Your Dog to Work Day. They have lots of good advice that your husband might like to read - and stats to show his boss that having a dog in the workplace increases productivity, reduces absenteeism and makes for a better office environment. Also reduces stress and improves health!

Blondeshavemorefun · 10/08/2009 17:55

sure she would be a very tasty treat!!

though he is generally more fond of frozen organic meat sausages pork for snacks

Paolosgirl · 10/08/2009 18:59

Yes, sounds like a dog under the desk may be a solution that we could look into, but would def. have to think about the housetraining - I feel a long block of annual leave coming up!

Who wouldn't like a colleague with a dog (well, providing no-one is allergic to/scared of them) - would certainly make the workplace much more fun!

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