Think our ddg may need to be put down this morning

[Carla]

What do I tell the girls? Do I tell them she may be, and risk upsetting them all day, or leave it and let them have a horrible shock when they get back from school?

there is nothing wrong with being a snivelling wreck death is sad.but it also means he is out of pain,....ok just me and please dont do as i say its my thoughts ,,my dd was 61/2 when our cat was put down and she was fine but i dont know your dds....does he look ok?...put him in his bed or on the sofa and make him look as nice as you can then when they come home in another romm say .....you know that" ..." was poorly? then say well he was very tired and wanted to go to go play with all the other dogs over the rainbow..now his thoughts have gone but his old overcoat is still here. would you like to say goodbye to him....its then their choice gosh dont say he was putdown they will never forgive you.then just let them do what they want hug him kiss him etc ,i bet they will be fine .then ask if they want to give hima funeral. they can make a little cross or plant a rose or something...i think it is a good idea as i have said before as children are scared of death and showing them it isnt scary is a good thing.....but its your choice

Another afterthought......are you going to bury her? With my sisters cat, we took her to the garden centre to buy a stone cat to keep at the cat's fav place in the garden - was a huge help for her getting over the death.

I still remember when our cats died when I was very small. The most important thing to me was saying goodbye. My dad buried the cats in the back garden. I have to admit this bit we didn't witness but when it was all covered over we planted some flowers over the top and I could go and chat to the cats whenever I needed.

Just do whatever feels right and don't worry about crying

and also make them laugh too say do you remember when he ...blah blah blah dont be all sad and misserable this really is a great chance for you to do something really good for your children..[hugs]]]not being rude but what is your experiance of death?

Oh Carla, how sad and how difficult for you. Don't feel bad for grieving so much when others have lost family - only you know how deeply you feel for your pets. I too had my dog put down, and held him in my arms as he died, so I understand how awfull you must be feeling.

I don't think there's any harm in explaining that the dog was so ill that she couldn't get better, and that the vet gave her a medicine to make her go to sleep for ever, so that she wouldn't be in any pain any more.

TBH I found it very distressing to see and to hold my dead pets, so I'm not too sure about showing her to them, but you know your daughters and maybe it will help them to say goodbye.

Burying her in the garden and letting the children help plant a bush, or choose a piece of sculpture is a wonderful idea. I wish we had done something similar, but the my mum did the gardening and she hated the idea.

It's alright for them to see you cry - that will allow them to cry if they want, and I'm sure will give you the strength to pull yourself together as well when your girls need you to do so.

H has already buried her. In a way I don't blame him - it could have got hot in the car, and there was no where else to put her meanwhile.

I've bought dds two posies of flowers.

How are you Carla? How did it go this afternoon?

Oh Carla, I'm so sorry. How are you all and how are the girls?

Swiper, u naughty person, that poem made me cry!