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Original poster

My dog just 'warned' my baby - help!

54 replies

ineedalifelaundry · 19/06/2009 10:59

My 9 month old DD simply adores our dog, a ten year old mongrel. But our dog has always been very wary of children, the smaller the warier. Although she's a very gentle dog, she's also very nervous and highly strung.

Now my baby is crawling she spends half her day in pursuit of the dog, who spends half her day getting out of the way.

Yesterday I caught the dog bearing her teeth at the baby (the baby was trying to get in the dog's bed) - only a tiny bit but it scared me.

Today my baby touched my dog's leg annd the dog actually opened her mouth around DD's arm. She didn't bite down. She is ten years old and has NEVER bitten a human, or any other living creature.

Should I be worried? I am worried sick.

OP posts:

belgo · 19/06/2009 15:23

It will be very hard to keep them completely separate, and unfair on the dog to keep him shut up in one room constantly especially if he has previously had the run of the house.

I know someone with a dog who growls at children. The owners have taken the dog to dog training and seen a dog psychologist, and still the dog has growled at my children (while on a lead and under control, so no risk to my children). They keep the dog in the garden when I visit, but the dog doesn't like being kept apart.

ABetaDad · 19/06/2009 15:25

Agreeing wth a lot of others.

The dog is being pursued by DD and is sick of it. The dog is behaving as it would with a younger dog that needs putting in its place. A quick snap of teeth a growl and the younger dog would be upside down and submissive but that is not what DD will do. She will keep on pursuing the dog and the interaction will becoming ever more violent.

Babies and dogs should never be left together for a moment.

The dog has to be got rid of or totally removed from the presence of DD. Dogs can also get jealous of a baby if the relative pack position of the dog versus the owner changes due to the baby arriving. The dog sees a baby as a rival and that can also lead to conflict.

bubblagirl · 19/06/2009 15:44

i think getting rid of dog should be the last thing first thing would be get a stair gate up and allow the dog some peace its old and doesn't want to be bothered the older your child gets the more she will respect and know how to play with dog just give dog some time out allow them in same room under your watchful eye do not allow dd to pull on dog etc praise dog as well to stop jealousy and when dog appears to be having enough allow some time out in another room with stair gate etc

Original poster

ineedalifelaundry · 19/06/2009 19:35

OK, baby gate now installed between kitchen and living room. Dog on one side, baby on other.

I feel much happier / more relaxed.

The dog doesn't look too happy about it but she'll just have to get used to it.

OP posts:

Countingthegreyhairs · 19/06/2009 19:44

I'm afraid I would think about rehoming the dog - although I know that would be very hard for you -

It's just not practical to keep a dog and a baby separate every minute of every day and night (believe me - I have tried). Mistakes happen. Particularly as your child grows and is more active - the separating door is bound to be left open in error one time and that is all it takes ...

I'm not saying your dog would automatically go for your dd - he may not - but if there is any doubt at all then imo it's not worth the risk.

Sorry - I'm a dog lover too so I really feel for you.

AnnieLobeseder · 19/06/2009 20:09

Why is it that whenever a dog displays perfectly normal dog behaviour towards an unruly pup (DC) everyone on MN screams "REHOME!" Dogs growl and snap at annoying pups, that's how pups learn their place and where the limits are. And if babies don't learn, then the dog will progress to nipping. My dogs are as patient with my DDs as could be expected, but if they persist in annoying them, the dogs growl and snap (note, snap, not bite). Perfectly normal behaviour. You need to make sure your dog has a safe place to go when she needs peace and quiet, and a gate to keep them separate if you aren't able to supervise. But otherwise, FGS, it's just how dogs are! My dogs, especially the old grumpy one, growl at the DDs all the time when they get annoying, and then it's time to intervene. But it doesn't mean that the dog is in any way vicious and needs to be got rid of! The dogs have never even come close to biting. Get a grip people! When you adopt an animal, it should be for life, not just as long as it's easy and convenient.

Heated · 19/06/2009 20:18

Thoughtful and useful post, AnnieLobeseder.

Lilyloo · 19/06/2009 20:27

Great post Annie

missmapp · 19/06/2009 20:31

A friend of mine had similar problems. She didnt want to rehome their much loved dog, so tried to separate, but the issues continued and eventually her ds was given a very nasty bite, they then rehomed the dog and have said she wished she had done so sooner as it would have been better for everyone.

BigusBumus · 19/06/2009 22:25

Annie, thats exactly what i wanted to say but didn't have the guts to say so directly. Well done, well said. x

beautifulgirls · 19/06/2009 22:30

Annie - I agree with much of what you have said and yes in in ideal situation a dog is for life - that should be the intention when you obtain one anyway. However, it needs to be considered in individual cases what is in the dog's best interest too. Staying in the same home is an option for many as separation behind a gate and supervision etc can work, but it will not work for all situations - some dogs just need more attention and shutting them away from the family may just be upsetting to the dog and they will not adjust etc. Like people not all dogs adapt as well as others to new situations. If things are not working out and the dog seems unhappy with the news rules after giving them a fair try, then it is probably kinder for the dog to have a new home where it can feel secure once again. I appreciate the dog was there first, but it is a reality that the children must now come first in this situation for the sense of safety.
OP - good luck with how things go and think hard about each choice and decision you need to make in the best interests of your DD and the dog. It is clear you love and care for them all.

SlartyBartFast · 19/06/2009 22:36

phew, agree with annie.
our dog would growl when dc's leapt around, but mainly kept herself to herself. and mostly i always kept an eye out.

Countingthegreyhairs · 19/06/2009 22:38

When you adopt an animal, it should be for life, not just as long as it's easy and convenient.

I couldn't agree more AnnieL - except when it comes to the safety of dc.

It shouldn't always be for life - all situations are different - and each dog and child has an individual personality.

If you don't mind me being frank, I think it's a bit of a cheap shot to say that those of us who have made the very difficult decision to put the welfare and safety of our dc above that of our dogs have taken an "easy and convenient" route. Anyone who has done it knows that is far from true. It is a very painful step to take. Believe it or not, some of us have made it with the best interests of the dog in mind too (ie so that it does not have to be locked up all the time) so please do not make sweeping judgements.

The op has already said that her dog has always been wary of children, and that she is nervous and highly strung.

That tbh isn't perfectly normal (a more normal response would be seen if a dog had been habituated to the presence of young dc as a puppy)

You say your dogs growl at your dc and then it is time to intervene - but what if you are not there to do so??

MatNanPlus · 19/06/2009 23:34

I'm with Annie, i don't understand why the dog and the baby weren't kept apart unless under close supervision from the start.

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/06/2009 14:55

fab post annie

dogs need to have a safe haven (their bed) and tbh i dont blame the op dog bearing her teeth at the baby who was trying to get into dogs bed

if you can not be with your baby at all times when the dog is about, then you need to put baby in play pen while you are out of room

a stairgate between where the dogs bed is and where the baby is, is a must, maybe dog bed can be in kitchen?

you say that your dog is nervous and highly strung and is wary of children, so she prob gets very pissed off/scared when your crawling baby goes after her - babies do crawl fast and YOU need to make sure that your baby doesnt annoy your dog

dc3 is now finally on the move, and if she goes anywhere near our 10.5stone puppys bed i say a firm no and remove

neversaydie · 20/06/2009 16:38

Our old dog (bitch) was astonishingly patient with ds at this stage. I never left them alone together, and she always had a safe haven that she could reach and ds couldn't (I trusted the dog, but had my doubts about ds's capacity for trouble).

Just once she growled at him (he was sitting astride her and pulling her fur). I separated them and told ds a very firm 'no, don't tease the dog'. Dog looked relieved and ds slowly learned that the dog was part of the family, not a toy. Not a bad lesson to learn, really.

Which is a long-winded way of saying that I agree with Annie. But would possibly be more cautious if the dog was a known biter (some are, but if you have one you know it).

ilovesprouts · 20/06/2009 16:46

ive got ds2 @2 years old my dog has been near him since he was born ..but the first time she shows teeth/or trys to bite him its going

hercules1 · 20/06/2009 16:48

ilovesrprouts - are you saying you've never allowed your dog and child to be near each other?

madwomanintheattic · 20/06/2009 16:58

we've always had dogs and taught the dcs that the dog's bed was out of bounds, and that occasional petting was ok, but if the dog got up and walked off, it was not appropriate to follow and carry on.

last week we finally took down the dog gate on the kitchen as the dcs are old enough to know how to behave with the dogs, and occasional segregation to give the dogs wome peace is no longer required.

only occasionally has a dc tried to crawl into a dog bed, and they have been swiftly removed and reprimanded in the same way that the dog would be if it was trying to get into the dcs bed lol.

you have just learnt your first lesson as a dog owner with dcs, op. the dcs have to be controlled in the same way as the dogs if you want them to co-exist lol.

(and i wouldn't have my kids baring their teeth at the dog either lol)

ilovesprouts · 20/06/2009 21:56

hc yes my dog has always been round him since he was born ,and no probs im just saying if the dog ever did ,also ds1/dd1 was brought up round a dog it never bit them but you never know when a dog will snap !!

hercules1 · 20/06/2009 22:00

Sorry, I misunderstood your post. I agree. I have relaxed now dd is 5 but always reminding her reminding her of how to be with our dogs.

lillypie · 20/06/2009 22:19

Sorry if this offends anyone but for me this is a no brainer,the dog would go immediately.I wouldn't take the chance on something terrible happening.

It only takes a second!

limonchik · 20/06/2009 22:24

Totally agree with Annie - the dog was warning you as much as the baby.

islandofsodor · 20/06/2009 22:31

My dog has done this many, may ti,mes with the dc, the difference being that as babies I never allowed them unsupervised and the dog's bed is in the kitchen out of bounds.

My dog is absolutely devoted to the children and if he warns them if they go too far it is the children I tell off, not the dog. Obviously a baby is too young to understand this.

The OP needs to review their arrangments, the dog needs space, it is an animal not a doll and I regard a warning as a good thing, a nasty dog (and my Dad had to have his dog put down due to nastiness) would have gone for the child.

My children have grown up to respect animals.

mistlethrush · 20/06/2009 22:48

Our dog has only ever twice 'warned' ds vocally since ds arrived (over 4 yrs) - both times we've immediately told ds off. The dog is aware that we are her first port of call and will protect her from him (she once came into the room I was in very slowly, looking beseachingly at me - it turned out that ds was using her tail as a really good way of walking but I removed him very quickly ) - I do hope that the OPs segregation option works - and that she can let the dog out in the evening when its 'safe'. Its really difficult to ask an old dog that's alwasy been timid to accept a young child into the family. Hopefully as the child gets older it should be easier to the the child to give the dog sufficient space.

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