Page 2 | Am I completely nuts to consider a puppy with a 10mo?

doggiesayswoof · 2009-04-22T10:50:06+00:00

DH and I have been talking about getting a dog for a long time. DD is 4 and DS is 10mo. We would love a puppy soon - before the summer - but we are novice dog owners (looked after dogs, but never had our own) and oh yes there is the thought of DS crawling about, probably through piles of puppy crap. Obviously we would need to look at gentle patient breeds who are tolerant of children too - been doing some research on that as well. Positive stories and/or cautionary tales wanted please! TIA

countingto10 · 22/04/2009 18:38

Mmelindt, it's very difficult to say whether it is the puppy or the kids but in my case I think it is a combination of the two. I have a dog not a bitch, which may make a difference and I think he will be a dominant dog IYSWIM. His new owners will be neutering him as soon as he reaches maturity as he is already "humping" my two youngest - which they find hysterical.

My cousin had a quiet bitch which she still had to rehome because of her kids tormenting, making her excited etc. She gave her to her mother who has CP and is in a wheelchair and you couldn't wish for a better dog now, she is very gentle etc.

Also I have 2 DSs that can't control their excitement so why I am trying to control one, the other starts. It's just not fair on the dog. As I say, when the kids aren't winding him up he is a lovely dog.

MmeLindt · 22/04/2009 18:41

I think that does make a difference, him being a he. You are doing the right thing, Counting, even if it is hard for you.

Our Daphne is the most submissive dog ever. As soon as DH comes in the door she is lying on her back to have her tummy tickled. He has started complaining that I don't greet him the same way

Original poster

doggiesayswoof · 22/04/2009 19:46

MmeLindt
I am now thinking of a maltese x spaniel like Daphne but little chance of finding one I fear

I love border terriers but have read that although they are perhaps calmer than other terriers they may still be the wrong choice with young dc.

I've thought about a shih tzu or lhasa apso but dh is very anti & my heart's not in it either!

Problem is, dh and I both like middle sized bouncy intelligent dogs with big personalities (border collies, bigger terriers, that sort of thing). But they are all wrong with young dc I think.

OP posts:

bella29 · 22/04/2009 19:54

fwiw, doggiesayswoof, the best dogs I have had around small dc's tend to be the bigger ones.

With the clear exception of Daphne ( ) and as a big generalisation, I think smaller dogs are more easily intimidated by dc's. I had a JRT who suffered from fear aggression and couldn't be trusted round children, whereas my big labrador is soppy as anything, as is my collie x lab x gsd x whoknowswhat

Also, it does come down very much to boundaries, for the dog and the children, and how you manage the situation, rather than actual breeds.

So I'd go for something you love, rather than something you think might be good with children.

HTH

Original poster

doggiesayswoof · 22/04/2009 20:00

Thanks bella that's something to think about.

I would have a lab, deffo. I'd need a bigger car!

The gentlest dog I've ever known was my mum's old mutt - he looked like he had some wolfhound in him and maybe gsd and who knows what else. He was not neutered either and yet he was the most patient, calm, tolerant dog - didn't bark much and was great fun too (but knew when to stop).

It's all about the individual dog sometimes and not the breed.

OP posts:

MmeLindt · 22/04/2009 20:13

Doggiesayswoof
I fear that they broke the mold when they made Daphne the Wunderdog as she is reverently known amongst my friends.

I agree that the guidelines of "childfriendly" dogs are just that, guidelines. There are always exceptions to the rule.

Take into account how much exercise a dog is likely to need. Daphne is perfect for me as she likes a longish walk but if she does not get it she is quite happy just to run around the garden a bit. I take her out for about an hour every morning.

My parents had a springer spaniel and we would go hiking all day and when we got home she wanted out for another walk.

Blondeshavemorefun · 22/04/2009 20:42

yes completley nuts but not as mad as my employers - who got a puupy who was born one week before no 3

and the puppy now is 10mths (as is baby) and is the size of a shetland pony!! and still growing

so we had a 12week puppy,11 week baby, nearly 3 and 5yr old

bella BLONDE WAVES was my godsend

we had countless wees on floor, but was prob 2mths or so and then completley dry

crates are fab, we left out puppy in it for an hour or so at a time twice a day as obv have school and nursery runs

LittleB · 22/04/2009 20:48

I have 2 dog, I got Rhubarb, a nove scotia duck tolling retriever (medium sized, bouncy and friendly - worth a look?) when dd was 1.10, and then I got Thistle (Border Terrier X) when dd was 3.6, a few months ago. Both are evry different dogs and we had similar issues. They've both been crate trained, which gives them a refuge from dd, and means I know they are somewhere safe when I have to leave them, although they are rarely shut in them now. Rhubarb was a bit of a chewer, and would chew dd's toys when left on the floor, he was also quite nippy, especially my ankles, but learnt very quickly that when he nibbled dd, she was whisked away from him, by me! Thistle doesn't chew much, never nipped, but was slower to housetrain, and cried quite alot at night for the first couple of weeks. Just so that you know all dogs are so different!
I've always been very firm with dd about being gentle with them, and stroking them carefully, and she loves them both. Its great for her to go walking with them, playing ball and fetch in the park. Also having got one in April and one in October, Spring/summer, is a much easier time to get a puppy, easier to housetrain as you'll be outside more, and much better in the evening when you are waiting for them to 'do wees!'
I've also used a local doggie day care place a couple of times when I've had to be out all day, worth looking into one near you.
Let us know what you decide to go for!

LittleB · 22/04/2009 20:48

I have 2 dog, I got Rhubarb, a nove scotia duck tolling retriever (medium sized, bouncy and friendly - worth a look?) when dd was 1.10, and then I got Thistle (Border Terrier X) when dd was 3.6, a few months ago. Both are evry different dogs and we had similar issues. They've both been crate trained, which gives them a refuge from dd, and means I know they are somewhere safe when I have to leave them, although they are rarely shut in them now. Rhubarb was a bit of a chewer, and would chew dd's toys when left on the floor, he was also quite nippy, especially my ankles, but learnt very quickly that when he nibbled dd, she was whisked away from him, by me! Thistle doesn't chew much, never nipped, but was slower to housetrain, and cried quite alot at night for the first couple of weeks. Just so that you know all dogs are so different!
I've always been very firm with dd about being gentle with them, and stroking them carefully, and she loves them both. Its great for her to go walking with them, playing ball and fetch in the park. Also having got one in April and one in October, Spring/summer, is a much easier time to get a puppy, easier to housetrain as you'll be outside more, and much better in the evening when you are waiting for them to 'do wees!'
I've also used a local doggie day care place a couple of times when I've had to be out all day, worth looking into one near you.
Let us know what you decide to go for!

bedlambeast · 22/04/2009 20:56

This reply has been deleted

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pigsinmud · 22/04/2009 21:34

Don't do it! We got our puppy a few months ago. We've got 4 children (10,8,5 & 2.10). It was a struggle for the first few weeks especially in the c**p weather, but am loving it now.

Dh & I are both new to dogs. We originally intended to get a puppy when youngest dc had started school, but friend's lovely dog accidentally pregnant so we thought it was right even if the timing wasn't.

I certainly wouldn't have coped if the youngest was 10 months, but then perhaps that's just me.

We have a mutt and she's gorgeous!

ABetaDad · 22/04/2009 21:46

doggiesayswoof - I would wait a few years until your DCs are say age 7 and 5 and then get a puppy who can grow up with them as older children.

The reason I say that is because small children and dogs compete for your time and you may well really struggle to look after the dog properly with small children around.

I also get very nervous with leaving a toddler with what will be an adult dog in say 2 years time. I would never trust any dog with a small child - they can be jealous of the relationship your child has with you. They can see you as pack leader and your DC as a rival.

Original poster

doggiesayswoof · 22/04/2009 21:55

Thanks all. Really interesting to get some different perspectives. Still thinking...

ABetaDad - DH and I have just been saying that to each other - maybe we should wait until DS is nearer to the age DD is now, then DD will be 7 or 8.

that means we have to wait 3 years though.

Need to sleep on it again...

OP posts:

purpleduck · 22/04/2009 22:13

We got our first dog when my dcs were 5 and nearly 3 and it was fine...she is a very easy going Greyhound, and there never has been any issues. BUT, i have always always been very firm that they are to be kind to the dog. Yes kids may have to learn to be kind, but from day one we have said that if they are mean to the dog and she bites, then the dog will have to go.

Luckily though, my kids aren't rough with the dog, and the dog is seriously laid back. We have always tried to make sure that the dog knows the kids are "boss".

The best thing we taught our dogs is "nice".When they were pups they could only have a treat from our hand if they took it from us gently. I was worried about the dog snatching things. We also made sure the dog was ok with us/the kids being around her while she eats, as i was worried about the dog getting territorial about her food.

I think it can be done, but if - hand on heart- you are not sure your dd can be gentle, please please do not get a dog. It is just so much harder for dogs to be re-homed when they can't be around children.

(BTW our second dog is a mixed something, he is the best dog ever - very loving, and of the rolling over for belly tickles variety. Both were from the dogs trust - they were both born at the dog's trust)

MmeLindt · 23/04/2009 08:32

Could you borrow a dog from a friend for a day or two to see how your DD behaves with it?

Original poster

doggiesayswoof · 23/04/2009 10:35

Purple that's really helpful. I can't be sure that DD will be gentle. She gets carried away v easily.

MmeLindt, the only person I know well who has a dog is my mum. The dog has behavioural issues (resue dog, had problems, my stepdad doesn't "believe" in training dogs so he has never really been corrected)

Having said that, the dog is usually ok with the dc but I wouldn't trust him for a second, so he's not a great example and we certainly couldn't have him to stay! DD is generally good with him but she does wind him up sometimes - she cuddles him really close and lies down on the floor beside him etc and he gets too excited. She would never torment a dog but she might love it too much! She has no idea of boundaries. But sometimes I think having her own dog would help her to learn that concept.

OP posts:

countingto10 · 23/04/2009 10:43

Doggiesayswoof, I really think you should leave it a while - will you really have the time and input that a puppy needs and if you are not 100% sure of your DD. I thought mine would be fine, it would calm them down and everyone would grow up together but they just won't leave the dog alone. I am forever pulling my DS4 off the dog and getting him out of his basket etc. The dog is great, DS4 always taking things off of him etc, getting in his basket etc but it's just not fair on the dog. And it's the dog that matters here.

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/04/2009 11:47

although our brute is HUGE he is very gentle and i have no problem leaving him with the children alone

i would def advise puppy training classes weekly/biweekely for a few months

bella29 · 23/04/2009 13:14

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/04/2009 13:39

blonde bows down to bella with GREAT respect!!!

bella29 · 23/04/2009 13:59

Stop taking the Michael, Blondie!

Am getting worried about Hammy - he is 2.75 yrs old and is taking longer to wake up of an evening, even when I put his smelliest, most favourite cat food in his cage. I hold my breath every night now until I hear him start rustling. Once he's up and about he's fine and dandy, but I guess he may not be here long now

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/04/2009 14:26

no piss taking here - you are my guru!!!!!

our eldest is the same he used to be a nosey bugger, you only had to look at the cage and he would sense it and dash and out and gnaw the bars but has got quite quiet recently

he still comes out every night, i just leave a treat by the door so i know he comes out and is alive during the day

but alas think hammy heaven is soon

is he still eating and drinking bella? Does he still like his porridge?

bella29 · 23/04/2009 14:35

Loves his porridge, and still eating and drinking well, thanks Blondie - just getting old now I guess....

I haven't actually lost a hammy for many years - the last one I had lasted until 3.5 which I know is exceptional but I'm dreading the little one popping his clogs. So stupid, especially when I used to deal with dead and dying animals on an almost daily basis. I think it's just because I know one of these nights he won't wake up.

Right - apologies again for somewhat morbid hijack

Good luck whatever you decide, OP. You sound as if you have some doubts so might be best to wait.

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/04/2009 14:52

we always have 2, and generally lose 1 a year - it is heart breaking - rem how sad i was at hanky dying

blondie is also sorry for the hamster hijack

and yes it does sound if OP has doubts, and tbh although i love their puppy/horse - it would have been nice not to have a puppy and a baby a week apart in ages

bella29 · 23/04/2009 14:54