Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pets

Join our community on the Pet forum to discuss anything related to pets.

Original poster

Replacing a looked after hamster that DS has killed.

20 replies

Arcadie · 15/04/2009 14:47

Looked after niece's hamster for Easter holidays. This morning DS (3.2yrs) got up early, gave the hamster a "cuddle" and was found with it by DH a bit later. I went in to check on hanster an hour later and he had died.

Obviously I feel sick and terrible about it but would like some advice on what to do.

Have left a message for SIL and BIL about hamster's passing. Do I buy new hamster and apologise profusely? Do I offer to take niece for a trip to pet shop? Do I fess up that it was probably ( a fairly clueless) DS's fault? Do I bury it in our garden or hers? ( I know that sounds stupid but I just don't want to get it wrong and make the situation worse)

How do I ingrain in DS the severity of what he has done to his cousin's beloved pet?

OP posts:
muffle · 15/04/2009 14:51

Oh poor DS, I don't have much advice for the rest but I'm sure he isn't to blame at all, and could be really traumatised if he ends up feeling that he is. He's only just 3 and probably won't understand death or that he could have hurt the hamster. Don't mean to tut but really it should have been out of his reach.

I would really play it down to DS and just get a new one. How old is the niece?

Onlyaphase · 15/04/2009 14:51

Don't do anything yet without speaking to BIL and SIL as they may not want another hamster/niece may want nothing else instead etc. No need to bury it yet either, see what they say. By all means offer to replace it or get something else, but wait to see what they would like.

And I'm not sure what I would do about confessing that your DS is most likely to blame - in an ideal world he wouldn't have been able to get at it, but sadly we don't live in an ideal world! Also, your DS is too young to understand what he did I think, and so it would be pretty pointless to try explaining the severity of what he did

tiggerlovestobounce · 15/04/2009 14:51

I wouldnt be too hard on your DS. IMO he is too young to be expected to hold a hamster unsupervised. Though maybe a little talk about how careful you need to be with animals would be helpful.

With regards to replacing it, burial etc I would do whatever your SIL/BIL think would be best.

coppertop · 15/04/2009 14:53

I would let SIL and BIL decide what they want to do about possibly getting a new hamster. Offer to pay but let them decide whether your niece should choose one and where the other one should be buried.

I don't think you can really blame your ds. He's 3 and had no idea that cuddling a hamster would actually kill it.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 15/04/2009 14:57

no, don't be too hard on him. I remember dd coming to my in floods of tears at that age because 'Mummy, worms aren't stretchy' and handed me two halves of a worm.
They have no idea at that age.

Heated · 15/04/2009 14:58

I'd offer to buy a new hamster saying that you feel terrible it died whilst in your care but say no more. I agree with Muffle about not makng a big deal of it with your ds, poor lad, he wouldn't have known what he did was wrong, presumably he is unfamiliar with small rodents, nor would you want the label of 'hamster-killer' being bandied about the family!

Heated · 15/04/2009 15:01

God, yes upset dd(2) has bought me a few spiders and ants asking me to 'make it well', pinched between her fingers.

sazzerbear · 15/04/2009 15:03

Poor you, replacement not always the best option - kids automatically know if the pet is not the same - I instantly knew new goldfish was an imposter when old one died!

Tiggiwinkle · 15/04/2009 15:10

Offer to take her to get a replacement-she may not like one chosen for her and prefer to choose her own.

Original poster
Arcadie · 15/04/2009 18:57

The hamster was well out of his reach in a cage that he's been repeatedly warned not to touch..... but he's an ingenious little thing and dragged a chair in from a different room, stood, climbed and opened a cage I thought would be far too advanced for him..... And this from a kid who thinks his velcro shoes are "too tricky"

Thanks for the other advice - have contacted person in Canada who SIL and Bil are staying with and she's going to break news to them ( they're in the air from Chicago at the moment) and find out what they'd like doing. And we're having a funeral for Milky any minute (at SIL's house....)

He's not proud of it, but did tell DH on his return from work not to get Mioky out of his cage becaus "he's dead and I killed him".......

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 16/04/2009 14:57

maybe it was time for hammy to die and nothing your ds did - how old was it?

but although your ds is little, at 3 he should know not to touch some things, esp as you had made clear to him not to - i think you do need to tell him off - or as you said ingrain the severity of what happened

i would wait and see if sil and bil and of course neice want a new hammy

everGreensleeves · 16/04/2009 14:58

This does happen more often than you'd think. I would just be very apologetic - it was an accident, not a murder - and offer to replace the hamster.

solidgoldshaggingbunnies · 16/04/2009 15:05

Small animals tend to up and die at the least provocation anyway - especially when they are being minded by someone who is not their owner. Don't blame your DS too much, he is only 3, and it;s only a farking hamster anyway (pointless things, not even edible). Apologise to sil and bil and ask them what they would like, but don't lose sleep over it.

Blondeshavemorefun · 16/04/2009 15:57

"and it;s only a farking hamster anyway (pointless things, not even edible)"

wash your mouth out - he may only be a hamster, but sure he was very much loved by his little girl owner!!!

hope you dont eat cats and dogs solidgoldbrass

solidgoldshaggingbunnies · 16/04/2009 16:27

Cats and dogs certainly have more meat on them than hamsters.

Ripeberry · 16/04/2009 16:39

I surprised that my parents ever let me have hamsters when i was little as i managed to drop one in an icy puddle when i decided to take it for a walk (was only 5yrs old), gave one a bath in the sink, my mum had to revive it in a warm oven!
I think i only ever killed one...by mistake

Blondeshavemorefun · 16/04/2009 16:40

tis true

everGreensleeves · 16/04/2009 22:14

hamsters aren't edible? Are you sure????

Original poster
Arcadie · 17/04/2009 22:12

people people.... this is my 9 year old niece's PET! Edible indeed.. tsk tsk.

Had a very nice email back from SIL who said not to worry and not to replace. I'm still not sure how much to let them know that this was not "nature taking its course" in a 4 month old hamster........ Fess up I guess. Best way to go.

OP posts:
Twinklemegan · 17/04/2009 22:18

It fills me with horror when I think about the fate of all these small animals that young children have as pets. In your case it's different OP, and I do feel sorry for you and your DS, but so many people buy these little creatures as pets for their children and god only knows what happens to the poor things.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread