Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pets

Join our community on the Pet forum to discuss anything related to pets.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

How do you cope if your partner doesn't like/love the pets?

37 replies

oregonianabroad · 05/03/2009 12:25

dh agreed to have a dog. wasn't too keen but i thought he'd get over it.

now he really resents the dog (she's lovely and not badly behaved at all -- a few annoyances but nothing major).

anyone else in this situation?

what did you do?

OP posts:

Original poster

oregonianabroad · 05/03/2009 12:26

He forgot to let her out one day and she weed on the rug, which is pretty much ruined now, as the cats then took that as a sign that they could make it their toilet too (he likes the cats). We have tried various mehtods of cleaning/airing it but it stinks and has to be tipped, I'm afraid. It wasn't the most expensive rug ever, but we can't really afford to replace it ... but again, not the worst thing in the world, and his fault rather than hers (she had been in 12 hours before she finally went). he confessed the other day that this is the reason he doesn't like her.

OP posts:

hertsnessex · 05/03/2009 12:26

My DH was a big like this. told him to get over it really. he agreed to the dog, the dog is eing good, and he is at work all day, so dog doesnt really affect him!

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 05/03/2009 12:41

My DH is kind of like this, he agreed under sufferance to a dog on the understanding he wouldn't have to walk her/clean up poo. He'll let her out in the garden if she needs to go and put food in her bowl but thats it.

He moans (a lot) about the fact she's digging in the garden, runs round the garden tearing the lawn up and also that the carpets are getting mucky. I've just had to order a carpet shampooer.

Original poster

oregonianabroad · 05/03/2009 12:47

It's the moaning I can't cope with! Do you just ignore it?

OP posts:

choochoochaboogie · 05/03/2009 12:53

You married someone who doesn't like dogs...?? Cat lover friend of mine married a cat hater, kept cats, got rid of him, found a new cat loving DP... well they're all happy now...!

Practically - Do you have room for outside kennel/run?

mosschops30 · 05/03/2009 13:01

I hate my dog, moan about it all the time. dh wanted it and him and the kids love it. I dont think it bothers dh though, most of the time I just ignore the dog and it gets love from the children and dh (and our neighbour who walks him )

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 05/03/2009 14:43

I do ignore the moaning but it gets me very uptight. I feel like I'm on eggshells incase the dog does something. There was a terrible arguement the other week where the dog had chewed something and DH went nuts and dragged the dog off the bed by her collar while shouting at her. Dog starts shrieking in pain as she is a greyhound and you shouldn't pull too hard on their collars. Which I don't think DH realised, but he didn't stop even when she was yelping. He locked her in the garden and hid the back door key so I couldn't let her in.

I thought I was going to have to rehome her but things (DH) seem to have calmed down now.

GrimmaTheNome · 05/03/2009 14:46

Never heard the motto, "Love me, love my dog"? I'd have thought of rehoming my DH if he'd done that, stripey (luckily my DH isn't like that)

LucyEllensmummy · 05/03/2009 14:52

It would be a deal breaker for me im afraid. I NEED to have a dog in my life, i don't think i would have taken to someone who doesn't like animals, in fact i fundamentally distrust people who don't like them.

Saying that, I have my little dog and DP isn't THAT keen on him and wants his own big man dog. This is under discussion and im caving in . But he does love Bob really, despite calling him a runty rat dog and half a dog - he bought him a new basket at the weekend, just cos he saw it and thought Bob would like it. I also catch him snuggling up with bob on the sofa when he thinks im not looking .

Dogs are bloody hard work - you kind of both need to want one.

LucyEllensmummy · 05/03/2009 14:55

strpey He HID the back door key??? That is totally unacceptable. Wouldn't be wanting a greyhound on my bed though - its not good to allow pets on the bed really, but that is down to you to sort out. Dogs need to know their place in the pack - but if my DP did that to my dog his place in the pack would be no-where im afraid.

Geepers · 05/03/2009 14:58

I am the opposite. I hate animals, my husband likes them. We recently re-homed our dog, because although I tried it, I really, really hated it. I hated everything about it and there wasn't one positive thing about having him. My husband just has to accept it.

Geepers · 05/03/2009 15:00

Stripey, your dog is quite new to your home isn't it?

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 05/03/2009 15:00

I don't know we are havig the same problems atm. He likes animals he just doesn't like having them in his house.

LucyEllensmummy · 05/03/2009 15:05

geepers you made your DH rehome your dog because you didn't like it? Why did you get it in the first place - sorry, but i would have been rehoming you.

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 05/03/2009 15:18

She was on her bed not our bed. Yes she is quite new, only had her since Nov.

Dh can be quite odd at times, he currently won't let me replace the 20 year old, worn, filthy hall carpet as he says I don't deserve a new carpet as all I do is dump shoes and handbags in the hall. Oh and he's taken the wire out of the back of the wireless box thing to stop it working with a note on it telling me off for only pushing the plug in halfway last night "it will wreck the something" according to the note. Like I did it on purpose....

Geepers · 05/03/2009 16:00

LEM, yep. I hate dogs. I hate their hair, their poo, their smell, the slippy slappy noise they make when they scratch their jowls, I hated him churning up the garden, I hated the footprints all over the floor, I hated the chaos he caused whenever anyone visited. He added nothing to the family.

We got him because I thought I wanted him and I thought we could offer a lovely home to an animal who needed one. It was some kind of post-natal mania on my part I think. I had just had twins and wanted to create some kind of family idyl.

Never again. And my husband would never choose an animal over me.

Original poster

oregonianabroad · 05/03/2009 16:28

Crikey. I guess people either love dogs or hate them.

Stripey, sounds like the dog is just one part of a bigger problem. This is probably true in our case as well.

I had told dh that getting a dog was a deal breaker, and he did seem to be coming around to the idea. We spent a lot (!!) of time talking about it beforehand, and yes, it was me pushing for it but he said it would be OK in the end. We took her originally as a 2 week 'trial' (told the kids we were dog-sitting) and it seemed OK.

Now he seems to regret the idea. However, I can't imagine re-homing her now. The kids, like me, are really attached, and it just adds something to my life that was missing before (I guess only 'dog people' will get what I am talking about).

I've asked him if he thinks he will ever be able to accept her in our home and he says he's not sure.

OP posts:

LucyEllensmummy · 05/03/2009 18:05

I am by no means over sentimental about animals but WHY WHY would you get a dog if you don't really like them? Totally irresponsible - not only that, the poor animal was a rescue? What an awful thing to do Its not about choosing an animal over you, its about respecting the other persons choices - if you didn't want a dog, you shouldnt have got one in the first place.

You know, i hated my dogs poo everywhere, hated the hair (had to hoover three times a day as rotties shed loads), i hated taking him for walks in the mid winter bbut that dog added more to my family than anything.

Im quite sad for your children that they will never experience it.

LucyEllensmummy · 05/03/2009 18:06

stripey, i know this isnt the thread for this, by my word, your DH sounds very controlling - are you OK?>

Lawks · 05/03/2009 18:23

Geepers even for someone who doesn't like dogs, your attitude is cold. I'm quite sad for your poor dog - did he at least go to a good home?

Anyway, OP, yes I can relate to this. When my dh said he didn't like dogs I assumed it was because he'd never had a dog. Honestly never occured to me that a decent person could genuinely not like dogs. I mean, I knew that some weirdos didn't like dogs , but not the man I love, surely?! Sadly and shockingly, our beautifully trained, gentle, docile, friendly lab didn't win him around . I pretty much took the same approack as Hertsnessex. He just has to get on with it. For the most part I appreciate the effort he makes. ccasionally I get really cross with him for being snippy with her when she's just being a dog. Sometimes he has a moan about her. He is sort of fond of her now. Sort of. He loves how much I love her, and loves how she and the children play. I explain her behaviour to him and he sees that she is a sweetie. The problem is that he doesn't speak 'dog' and he can't seem to learn.

Geepers · 05/03/2009 18:53

LEM don't be sad for my children, they have plenty in their lives to make up for one absent pet. I think they are happy that they aren't being told to always close doors, or pick up toys, or mind the dog poos, or trudge out in the cold and rain walking him.

Lawks, my attitude isn't cold, I just don't like dogs. I thought it would be nice to have one, I thought I'd like having one, I thought all kinds of things but nothing could have prepared me for the reality.

LucyEllensmummy · 05/03/2009 19:01

I am sad for your children, my DP grew up wanting a dog all his life and feels he really missed out. But its your attitude that im sad about, that they will grow up with negative feelings about animals - having animals in your life enhances your life in more ways you can imagine. My DD adores her dog and their relationship is something special - as children get older it teaches them about responsibility but that doesn't seem to be something that is high on your list anyway. You don't like dogs, but you thought you would like having one Shame, but hey, at least your dog is hopefully with someone who will love and appreciate her now.

I just don't trust people who don't like dogs, i think it shows a lack of empathy - but thats just my opinion.

Geepers · 05/03/2009 19:07

LEM, a slight jump from me not liking dogs to assuming that responsibility isn't high on my list. All you know about me is that I don't like dogs.

Having animals in your life enhances your life. That is great for you, but we aren't all the same. Having a dog did nothing to enhance our lives, it just added extra stress. Perhaps if more people admitted that dogs aren't for them, then there would be less neglected pets in the world.

LucyEllensmummy · 05/03/2009 19:15

Exactly!!! So WTF did you get one??

Geepers · 05/03/2009 19:20

There really is no need to swear at me.

Because having never had a dog, how could I possibly anticipate the complete destruction and chaos one would bring to our home?

Until you have a dog in your house, there is no way of knowing how much you will hate the hair covering everything, how much it will smell etc.

If you have always had dogs, then you know whether you have the type of personality whereby the positives outweigh the negatives. My husband could cope with the negatives and loved the dog anyway. I hated it.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread