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Dog Experts! how do I show my dog that baby is boss?!

36 replies

charlie91 · 15/02/2009 20:11

I have a 9month old baby and 2 dogs. One of the dogs is fine but my 7yr old terrier cross has always been a bit highly strung. So far she has given the baby a wide berth, seeming very nervous of her and not even wanting to look at her, but now my DD is crawling, and wants to crawl after/grab the dogs, obviously I don't leave them alone, but on a couple of occasions now my dog has growled/ shown her teeth at the baby, especially when I tell my DD 'no'. I think the dog is telling her off too!
Is there anything I can do, me and said dog have always been v close (half the problem I suspect) & I really don't want to get rid of her.

OP posts:
Cosette · 20/02/2009 11:19

We have 2 dogs, one was a 9month old when DS was born, and the other we got when DS was 1 year old. We used crates for the dog, and a playpen for DS - plus stairgates in some doorways, so that we could effectively separate dogs and baby.

We found it ok - the dogs were always firmly moved away from DS if they were being a bit bouncy. DS fed them dog biscuits, and I often walked Dogs and DS together - and I think they now associate DS with food and walks - both good things.

DS is now a toddler, and has become a bit more boisterous and has a couple of times swung hands and feet at the dogs, for which he has been told off. The dogs did not react at all, they also accept his "stroking" them.

The cat scarpers whenever he sees him though, and likes to sit out of reach!

mistlethrush · 20/02/2009 13:21

PM - I do think things improve for the dog as children get a bit older. Firstly its easier to tell them what is acceptable and what isn't. Secondly there is the benefit of walks and food.

With our dog (who was 5 when ds arrived - so not dissimlar to your situation) I tried to ensure that she saw the benefits of having ds around and didn't just feel left out. So, if settling down for a cuddle on the sofa with ds, I would put the dog's blanket on the sofa beside me so that she could be next to me and stroked - but out of the way of the baby.

Its really difficult to know what to say about your situation: I don't know your dog and how far she could be trusted. I know that you should never leave a dog with a child - and, even with our lovely, laid back dog, this was always the rule early on (bit more laid back now). But, in some ways, I was glad that my parents' terrier/collie cross died when ds was about 1 - she couldn't be trusted at all and I was always very careful that ds couldn't go too near her - she would have snapped. However, your dog might settle down a bit and get less concerned - when she knows that you are going to look after her and not let the baby hurt her. Ds loved stroking the dog - but I always did this with him until he could be guaranteed not to stick his finger in her eye, pull an ear, or stroke too suddenly. But the dog also has nice sessions all to herself in the evening - and she likes going for the odd walk without ds for a treat!

A dog cage would certainly help - but the gates are another option, as long as the dog wouldn't jump over, or have a go at the baby through the gate as the baby has reached through...

LucyEllensmummy · 20/02/2009 21:50

piggle, i wish i could answer your will it get better as the baby gets older question. But who is to say. My DD is a bit of a nightmare with my dog, completely OTT and he just takes it - but he was a puppy when we got him. We had made the decision to rehome our rottie because he bit our eldest DD when she trod on his foot (she needed hospital treatment for a bite to her foot), i was never "sure" it would work out because he was a rescue dog with a dodgy background - but this decided me, it turned out he had bone cancer which was most likely why he bit DD1 as it was that leg she trod on and it must have been agony for the poor dog - he had never bitten before. No one can garuntee ANY dog, i mean, your lovely laid back chap could snap at her one day if she hurts him by accident. You just don/t know - even my JRT who has the patience of a saint might bite my DD, i dont think he will but no one can say 100%.

Thing is, you are not going to find a home straight away so see how things go - separate them of course, you don't have any choice and definately see about a crate - the way to get her over any insecurities is to put her food in there, leave the door open etc. Also, might be worth you investing in a DAP diffuser. This is a dog pheremone device that you plug in like an air freshener. It releases pheremones that are given of by a bitch when she has pups and is very soothing for dogs - very effective with anxiety issues in dogs. Not cheap and takes a couple of weeks to kick in but worth a shot. Is your dog highly strung generally? What food are you feeding them? Does it have a high protein content, anything above about 20% is high and could lead to nervous energy. Something like chappie is great as the protein content is low, or if you are feeding complete food i swear by jameswellbeloved but that again is very expensive.

I think the dog sees you as her underling and is protecting you from the baby - hence me saying that YOU need to be the boss. But you can do this kindly. Can you get baby to play with the dog, could she throw toys for him, while on your lap of course! Give her biscuits etc (but watch for snatching) to get a positive association, i just wonder if you have been tense (understandable) and it might worry the dog. You need her to view the baby as a non threatening addition to the household.

My gut feeling im sorry to say is that you should still rehome her, but you have to look at it from the dogs point of view - if it doesnt work out, she will actually be happier in a new home. Im sure she loves you, but dogs do adapt really well and so long as you find a kind and loving home for her then there is no reason why she wont be happy. SAdly, you will probably miss her more than she misses you iyswim.

Do let us know how you get on - its pants i know, but you are doing everything possible to make the situation right. Good luck
xx

pigglemama · 20/02/2009 22:26

Wonderful advice, thankyou! The DAP diffuser would be great, as yes she is highly strung generally, & that's v interesting about high protein content, I do feed them James Wellbeloved funnily enough,so I guess its not the food although they're certainly getting extra portions sitting under the highchair 3x a day!
You're right, I do think there's a difference in having a puppy with a baby, and the 'old dog new tricks' springs to mind too.
I'm sure that I can keep them separate for the time being but my fear is that when DD is a toddler, and we're out on walks or in the garden that it won't be so easy, so yes I probably will have to rehome her, I think she's got to that age where she just wants a quiet life , so I need to find that for her I think

Thanks again to everyone for all the advice, you're all amazing. x

completelyabsolutely · 21/02/2009 19:51

Oh that's a great idea from LEM - we had great success with the DAP diffuser with our dog when we moved house, she had started being really nervous, barking and growling at the slightest noise and the diffuser helped literally overnight. You can get them from most vets or they are a bit cheaper online.

Good luck, I hope it works out for you.

mrsmaidamess · 21/02/2009 19:55

Watch 'The Dog Whisperer' on telly. I loathe dogs, but love this programme!

OhBollocks · 22/02/2009 08:08

Isn't "the Dog Whisperer" the canine equivalent of Supernanny ie not actually very good?

LucyEllensmummy · 22/02/2009 11:15

bollocks, it may well be a load of well, bollocks, but i don't care - hes fecking gorgeous and i can leer whilst apparently picking up tips

mrsmaidamess · 22/02/2009 11:16

Not from what I've seen. He has the most rabid ,frothy mouthed badly bahaved pitbull mongrels literally eating out of his hand in a matter of moments.

Its all about establishing 'the pack'

mrsmaidamess · 22/02/2009 11:17

And yes Lucy he is as cute as button isn't he?

LucyEllensmummy · 22/02/2009 11:26

He can practice his calm assertiveness on me any day, although if he keeps poking me i WILL bite him!

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