Anyone on line to give me some advice/opinion re what to do with poor old Tom (our cat)?

[mckenzie]

Tom is a rescue cat and we believe him to be about 16 years old. Since last year has has suddenly really seemed his age and he has been diagnosed in the last 6 months with hyper thyroidism and arthritis. For the last few weeks though he is drinking even more water than normal, his back legs are literally at times collapsing from underneath him, he now seems to be uncomfortable putting pressure on one of his front legs and he has been having endless poo accidents. On monday he was walking across the kitchen floor and seemed to be oblivious to the fact that it was falling out of his bottom .
I took him to the vets this week and she examined him and confirmed that his shoulder (is it called that on a cat) seemed stiff and sore She explained about the option of changing his hyper-thyroid meds to a one a day tablet ( we really really struggle getting Tom to take his tablets, he seems to be too clever to all our ways of hiding them). She also mentioned having Tom checked out by a more senior vet to see is his thyroid was enlarged enough to make him a good candidate for surgery. And then she mentioned the third and last (and very final) option. DH wants this option. Any thoughts please? I just dont know what to do for the best. Best for Tom, for the children, for my marriage (we argue about every poo accident because DH complains like fury as if Tom is doing it deliberately ).
TIA

Unless you have tons of money to spend on the cat, and considering his age, I'd have him put to sleep. It might still be worth checking out the senior vet option and weigh up success rates versus costs.
It's likely he'll continue to fail, and there's always, I think the moral issue of spending very large sums of money on an old animal. I realise that this could get me flamed as it's a possible argument for not keeping pets at all.

You've done your bit by rescuing him, he's had a good innings.

By the way, I love cats and have an elderly specimen.

Oh, your DH needs an attitude adjustment, or is he the one who gets to clean it up all the time? Thought not.

I'm afraid I agree with Echt - whatever you do he won't have much longer to live, cats just don't live much past 16 ime. Poor Tom and poor you

I agree with echt. It is the hardest but most responsible bit of pet ownership.

It's so hard but I'm going to go with your dh. Not because of the poo but, ime, it sounds like he doesn't have too long here anyway.
16 is a good age for a cat. Do you really want to put him through surgery? I think it would probably make the remainder of his life even more painful.
I think you should let him go as I believe it's only going to get worse for him.
for you.
all the best.

you thought right echt. Dh has cleared up one mess I think and that was only because I was away for the weekend. He even left the house this morning while saying "oh by the way, I notice Tom has been sick in the kitchen by the back door". I wouldn't mind but it was DH who persuaded me to have a cat all those years ago. I've just been sitting on the sofa with Tom on my lap and he's purring away but 30 mins ago I went upstairs and found some more mess (I'm not sure what end it came out of) and it had blood in it. Bright red blood which is the lesser of the evils isn't it? Dark red blood is the sign of real nastiness if I remember correctly.

sorry, typed my reply before seeing those other two. Not what i wanted to hear although I'm sure you are all correct. So do we prepare the children and build up to it or do we just get it sorted and then tell the children?

To be honest, at 16 I don't think that a general anaesthetic is likely to do Tom any good and so if he was mine I wouldn't subject him to surgery. I have to agree with the other responses, it seems like Tom is reaching his time and if you can be strong enough it is probably better to have him put to sleep than to suffer on for a few more weeks or months.

I'm really sorry x

His quality of life is such that I would have him put down.
Having said that I kept my cat alive for about a year on medication before she finally had to be put out of her misery, and the last 2 days it was utter misery.
Our other cat had a fairly horrible last few days too because we hadn't noticed her colon had ruptured . We were too busy with our PFB. Our cats lived to be 11 and 14.

If he is in pain, incontinent and unable to walk normally then I think it would be kinder to let him go. It is a very hard decision to make.

x post! I think it depends how old the children are but I would say tell them, let them say goodbye and do it straight away.

If you can be brave enough, just spend as much time with him as you can. They do (and I've experienced this) purr even when they are about to go sometimes

Does he have a warm place to snuggle in?

How old are your kids?
A friend of mine had the vet come round one night after they'd gone to sleep and put down their old, sick dog. She left him in his bed and when they 'found' him in the morning she said he must have died in his sleep and it was for the best. Kids were about 4 and 6 yo and weren't too upset.

So sorry about Tom, it's awfully sad.

My cat had this; she was 18. TBH I wanted to go for the 3rd option but dh couldn't face it, so she had the op, got better, but within 6m had deteriorated; the vet tried to persuade us to give her another op for the other thyroid (very very risky) but we refused that. We ended up taking her to the vet every couple of months where she would stay in overnight on a drip, have a load of injections, and she'd survive another couple of weeks and then start deteriorating again so back to the vet .... It was horrible. I eventually managed to persuade dh to take the kinder road and she died quietly in my arms (and pissed all over my lap).

Tom has had a long life; he has had a good life with you. Be kind to him now.

trouble is, sometimes he acts like the jack the lad and has a twinkle in his eye. His coat is all shiny. He was purring so loudly at the vets that she couldn't hear his heart rate properly to start with. But i know you are all right. So, how do i do this then? Do I call the vet and book an appointment explaining what it's for? And what do I do about the children? Shall I wait until after half term so that they are in their normal routine? They are 7 and nearly 4.

Really sorry to hear this. Unfortunately I have to agree with everyone else- I had to put my cat down last year and in the end it was a huge dash to the vets to try to put her out of her misery asap. It was very clear she was in a lot of pain :-(

In the short term this will be very hard, but in the long term you'll know that you did all you could to make sure she didn't suffer.

Oh and my dh was always complaining about the accidents vociferously, though I was the one cleaning them up. Men are wimps

Thank you all so much for the replies. I'm going to go and watch some rubbish TV now to clear my mind a bit before trying to go to bed. I can see me having a wet pillowcase if i go up now (already got through half a packet of klennex!)

My cat died when dd was 7. She knew we were taking her to the vet, and dh hadn't committed at that point, but I told dd that we might not be bringing the cat home, and that I thought it was kinder to put her to sleep. So dd knew what to expect and I met her from school and told her and we had a big cuddle and a cry, went to a local cafe and then home.

When my other cat was put down a few weeks before Xmas, I had persuaded dh much more easily, so we were going to make the appt knowing pretty much what we were going to do (though there was a tiny tiny possibility that the vet might have pulled a miracle out of her hat!). Again we told dd and this time she opted to come too. This cat died on the vet's table with all 3 of us stroking and holding her paws while dd talked quietly and lovingly to her. It was almost nice.

It's the weekend so I'd probably try for an appointment tomorrow tbh. If that's not an option then see out the weekend and try to make Tom comfortable and get him to the vet asap after Sunday.
My youngest ds cried as I've never seen him cry before, or since, when his goldfish died last year. He says now that he's glad he had a "small person to cry over as practise for his family dying later"...we all have to face it some time.

Sending you positive vibes.

Mckenzie - I wish you well in your decision. I know that eventually we'll be put to the same when catty echt is ready for the great litter tray in the sky. He is older than Miss echt
and she'll be gutted when he goes. as will we, come to think of it. It's so good to hear of people who take in the waifs and strays and care about them to the very end.

So sorry to hear about Tom. He does sound like he is nearing the end im afraid. Don't be fooled by the purring - sorry but this is very common in ailing cats, especially if it is loud .

I used to be a vet nurse so have been through this many times, its still heartrending. I have to say, children are pretty resilient although i wouldn't tell them until afterwards. Just say that he is going to the vets as he is very very old and poorly. Then just tell them that he has passed away - allow them time to say goodbye but don;t make a big drama of it, just say he is going to the vets now - to give him a cuddle before he goes.

What you need to do is phone up your vet and make an appointment. It is often better if you can tell the receptionist over the phone. Just helps to have everything ready. You can stay with Tom if you want to - i always recommend that owners do this as there are no questions unanswered. What will happen is this - the vet, aided by a nurse may or maynot shave a little bit of fur from Toms leg - just to make access to the vein easier. He will then be given an injection into the vein which is basically an aneasthetic overdose - he will drift off to sleep just like he was having an op. It is all very quick and painless for kitty.

Some people decide to have their pet's ashes returned to them, it is worth considering this before you go, but you can phone the vets after and let them know if you need time to think. I have my dogs and my rabbits (all upstairs in boxes as i have never been able to scatter them!) and it helps as i feel they are close to me still! Otherwise they go to the crematorium and are cremated with other cats (just cats) then the ashes are spread en masse and the fields often planted over with grass, daffodils etc.

Sorry, this is all a bit factual, but i always feel it is good to be prepared.

It is a terrible, gut wrenching decision to have to make, but I have never ever doubted any euthanasia that i have assisted in, i have always felt that it has been the right thing to do for the animal.

How is Tom today Mckenzie? Keep us posted

thanks you all for the extra messages and for all that good info LucyEllensmummy. i do believe that forewarned is forearmed so I'd rather know as much as is possible.
Tom has slept all of today so far. No accidents over night and he is getting right under my feet just now while I get tea ready