Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pets

Join our community on the Pet forum to discuss anything related to pets.

Original poster

Please tell me I'm not a bad person for rehoming 1 of my cats?

16 replies

Maveta · 26/01/2009 13:07

I have 2 cats both about 4 years old and I think I might need to rehome 1 of them.

He is a lovely cat. Found him on the street, he was about 3 or 4 months old and in a right state. He's always been a timid wee thing and looking back we should never have got the second one but we had agreed to take the new kitten before it was born and felt we couldn't back out and anyway, what's done is done.

Basically this cat is a real sweetie but scared of his own shadow and barely coped with sharing the house with another cat. Since ds arrived he's got worse and now that he's a loud and rambunctious toddler he's like a nervous wreck.

For ages he wouldn't come in the house until ds was in bed. Now it's got to the point where he enters, eats and goes straight out. If we close the window while he is eating (it's cold!!) he goes nuts running around meowing looking to get out . Last night I just realised that as much as I love him it is really unfair on him. If I can find him a nice home in a house where he is the only 'baby' he would be so much happier.

So why do I feel so awful?

OP posts:
lollystar · 26/01/2009 18:24

I think you're doing the right thing, but I would miss mine like crazy if I had to give one of them up so I feel for you...
It sounds like he needs a very quiet home, poor little thing.

Lovesdogsandcats · 28/01/2009 09:13

I don't often agree when I read the 'I need to rehome...' threads, but in your case I do.

he has not become more secure as time has gone on, 3 years is a long time to hope a cat becomes part of the family

I would get in touch with Cats proection or your local RSPCA

chloejessmeg · 28/01/2009 10:11

I am having to rehome 2 of mine, probably going tonight. BUT I know it will be best for everybody and I havce found them a really lovely home with a lovely family who will be able to give them so much more. Just choose your home carefully and be picky about who you choose. Make sure you describe everything to them so they know what they are getting and make sure they know they can't have another pet with him.

Original poster
Maveta · 28/01/2009 12:17

thanks all.

In reality it is 4 years he has been with us. And he is fabulous with dh or I. He is loving and affectionate. He is just very nervy and scared and that doesn't combine well with another dominant cat and a toddler.

I am in spain which makes in harder as cats are not a favoured pet here like in the UK. In fact there are so many strays around it is hard to imagine I will find anyone to take him.

I did contact the international shelter here and they said they would post an ad. I started writing an essay about him and putting pics together but it almost makes me cry. That was on monday and I've still not finished it and sent it.

I will definitely wait til I find the right person for him. Would it be really weird for me to ask the person taking him to contact me if they ever find themselves unable to take care of him? I would have him back rather than them giving him to someone random or ditching him on the street.

OP posts:
OhYouBadBadKitten · 28/01/2009 12:25

I think you are a really fab owner to do what is right for your cat and look for somewhere that the enviroment would suit it better. It takes courage.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 28/01/2009 12:44

Just a quick thought - have you tried feliway with him? It might calm his nerves.

Original poster
Maveta · 28/01/2009 14:18

thanks [sniff] - I haven't tried feliway. In fact had never heard of it til a couple of days ago when someone mentioned it with reference to something else (different cat). But might be worth a shot, thanks.

OP posts:
mackerel · 28/01/2009 14:24

We had to rehome one of ours who set up a nest in someones garden about half a mile away and wouldn't stay with us after DD3 was born. Felt awful but he just didn't really coipe with kids. Might need to rehome other one too as DD2 v. allergic to cats...eczema etc.you're doing the best for your cat.

chloejessmeg · 28/01/2009 18:33

Feliway really might help. Ebay is usually the cheapest option for it. You can get a defusser and/or a spray that you can use where you like.

scifinerd · 28/01/2009 18:45

Hi I am normally really judgmental about rehoming pets ( a pet is for life etc) but you are doing it for altruistic reasons and imo, the right reasons. I feel for you. I hope Feliway works but if you find a lovely home please don't feel guilty, you sound like a wonderful and responsible pet owner. I wish there were more like you.

marie1979 · 29/01/2009 15:11

i think you are doing the right thing i dont normally agree with re homing but the poor cat is really not happy so its best for the cat so he can have peace and quiet i hope you find him a lovely home good luck chloejessmog i was just wondering how come you have to re home yours??

PoloPlayingMummy · 29/01/2009 15:14

It's a really hard decision but it sounds like you are doing the right thing for your cat

PinkTulips · 29/01/2009 15:21

we had a tom cat like that, took him in as a stray and he was always a bit nervous but got progressively worse as the kids got older. it was at the point where he wouldn't come in the house when the kids were about and slashed at them if they came within a few feet of him when he did come in.

he rehomed himself last summer and comes back to visit every now and again, he's looking fatter and healthier than he ever did here so is obviously being well cared for by whoever he conned into taking him in

it's sad as we spent 4 years putting alot of love and attention into a very difficult cat just to have the situation deteriorate to this point but he's obviously happier now and soon after he moved out a female stray i'd been feeding moved herself and her kittens in so we now have 3 extremely friendly, loving, child proof, non shitting on my bed cats that the kids adore

tiggerlovestobounce · 29/01/2009 15:24

I did the same thing. I had a cat who was from a shelter, and who seemed to hate living with us. He always looked scared, and would soil and wee all over the house. I tried everything I could think of, including feeliway, with no effect.
I couldnt carry on the way we were. He was obviously unhappy and I was worried about the risk of having a cat soiling in a house with children.
I gave him to a friend without children, and he has done wonderfully. He looks happy, is conficent, wanders about like he owns the place, and has never soiled or urinated in the house.

I did feel guilty giving him away, but now I see how happy he is I know that I did the right thing by him, and it feels a lot better to see him so happy nor rather than before when he was skulking around our house, hiding from the children.

Lovesdogsandcats · 29/01/2009 22:14

Just a thought, do you have a spare room that you can make into his, or if you are in Spain, a shed or outhouse? You could put a bed and litter tray and his food in there, and it would be quiet for him? He sounds so nervous, maybe he would be the same even in a new home.
Lots of cats live happily in outbuildings etc.

If you do re-home, no it is not odd to ask if it doesn't work out, you will have him back. In fact when the RSPCA adopt a cat or dog out, you have to sign a form saying just that, that you will hand back if all does not work out.

2HotCrossBunsAnd1InTheOven · 31/01/2009 14:45

Mav - sorry you are having to go through this. You have my sympathies as I might have to face the same thing soon. I don't want to hijack this thread (will start 1 of my own!) but just wanted to say I think you are obviously thinking of the cat's best interests.
Good luck with getting through wahtever you decide to do.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread