How do I get over/halt my ever worsening fear of dogs?

[NCbirdy]

Around 5 years ago I was bitten by a dog, I was walking along a path the dog was loose and it walked past me, turned and took a chunk out of my leg.

At the time I had my own dog and was around dogs all the time so I got stitched up and went on. I didn't really give it a second thought as I knew that the dog was badly treated and was used to "getting a nip in before getting a clatter" . Therefore I knew it was nothing to do with me IYSWIM.

Anyway, time passes, my dog passes and I am no longer around dogs so much. Gradually I am finding I am more and more nervous around dogs. Even dogs I know, my mums wonderful dogs terrify me. Recently I was walking and came across a great dane loose. I was so frightened because there was no owner around. The poor dog knew I was scared and started barking at me, the poor owner comes hightailing it back to the dog and grabs his collar appolgising all the way saying "he never does this" and I know it was me the dog was reacting to. I know it was the way I was feeling that made it happen.

The other day I was walking again with my children and a collie leapt out of the hedge growling, I jumped half way across the path in shock and nearly ripped my dd's hair out getting her behind me. The dog was playing wwith its littermate who burst out of the hedge a few seconds later.

The thing is, I now feel myself panicking if I am left alone with a dog, I won't let my 13yo play with my mums dogs (even though I know that she is well versed in the rules around dogs). I can feel the anxiety bubbling up just walking down a street because a dog may appear.

I need to stop this before it gets worse, my children are great with dogs, my dd is fantastic at training them as she is really intuitive with them but I can see that my fear is going to start affecting them soon and I would hate that.

Does anyone have any tips for me or ideas? It is so true when they say the physical scars heal before the emotional - I always tought that sort of thing was a load of hooey!

Anyway, thank you to anyone who replies!

not hooey - your body has learnt a response to a nasty incident. It will therefore repeat this response until you change it, and as you rightly said, dogs pick up on nervousness so enhance the response level.

If you can bear the idea, I would suggest either hypnotherapy or this thing called EFT (emotional freedom technique). The former is fairly self-explanatory and can work really well to eliminate phobias and fears. The latter is designed to remove negative emotions about situations and can therefore be very good in post-traumatic situations (which yours would count as).

Ok, can I find out more about EFT? I know hyonotherapy doesn't work well on me!

I really need to stop this!

Any body else have any ideas please?

Have a look at this site
It will tell you more about EFT and if you look at the top of the homepage you will see a link for practioners, so you can find one near to you.

A friend of mine had EFT and she had a very positive experience from it.

HTH

That is brill thanks Nbg! I will go and have a look now!

Is there any chance that you could have another dog yourself?

I was bitten badly in a 3 dog attack when I was 12, and bitten again by a single dog when I was older and developed a huge phobia about dogs off leads. (I grew up with a family dog and never had a problem with her). After having kids the dog phobia was getting worse and worse and I was finding it difficult to take them to the park because we might bump into dogs off their leads.
Then we moved to the countryside and the kids were asking for a dog and our livestyle made a dog a possibility ..whilst we were thinking about it a friend asked if we could 'rescue' a dog who needed rehoming. We took the dog in, and my phobia has gone! . She is a young dog and I take her to dog training classes every week - which are great because they teach the humans how to have control/respect from the dogs..has increased my confidence no end.

(In fact if you could tolerate it and borrow a puppy and go to dog training this might help - if you live near me you could borrow mine)

Thank you Millarkie - I would love to borrow your dog (I do really love dogs, which is why the fear is so frustrating for me!)

We did actually get another dog (a rescue) who was from teh same breeder as my original dog. Sadly she turned out to be mentally unstable and attacked myself, a child and a passer by. Luckily she didn't actually harm anyone badly but I think that put the icing on the cake for me and my fears! (Also having her put to sleep was one of the most terrible things I have ever had to do - again because I knew it was not her fault - it was the flamin' owners and it makes me cry even now)

When my original dog was put to sleep she was old, tired and ready (she had cancer) - I know I did the only humane thing for her, but for the next one it was all so wrong and unfair it really broke my heart.

Typing this I am wondering if that guilt is actually part of my problem?

The guilt could play a part. I find it so strange that a few years ago I would freeze and my heart would pound if I saw a Yorkie approaching, and yet a few days ago a Golden Retreiver got out of his garden and came pelting at me, top speed and I stood my ground, told him to stop and took him back to his owners...

it is really good that you have got control of it, I am thinking I should offer to take my mum's dogs out sometimes and get myself back into the doggy community a bit. Exposure may help I guess?

Nbg, I have looked at the site, it does look interesting so I have downloaded the manual to read tonight (when it is quiet around here )

I think NC that your other experience has to helped matters either.
Fuel to the fire iyswim.

I hope you manage to get somewhere with it. Any phobia, no matter what it is, can be incredibly debilitating and cause alot of distress.

hasn't helped matters, that should have read.

I have a 2 year old helping me type

Thank you Nbg, I am not yet at the stage where it is impacting on the outside IYSWIM. However, it is getting there, slowley but surely. I am determined to stop it before it goes too far.

The more I think about it, the more I think that both experiences are linked together, it would explain why it started to get worse as well IYSWIM.

Your 2yo is a better typist than me

Well I say help, more like him trying to prize my hands from the keyboard.
I think he's trying to tell me something

Its good that you have recognised that it can get worse and you want to take steps to prevent it.
IME these things go from being a little problem to a big problem hard to hide very quickly.

Also again IME, you think you are aware or what caused the phobia but when its looked at properly, you find there are more than one cause. Something deeper and I think you have uncovered that.

Do let us know how you get on.

Sorry NCB, I went to bed - glad that someone else was able to direct you.

why don't you try going to crufts - all the dogs will be undercontrol, - worked for a girl i know with a fear of dogs. - just as long as you don't have a panic attack....

TW, that is fine I have found that not everyone wants to be up till three am - odd I know!

Barbiehouse, that is a good idea too - I might make myself a little action plan!

Step 1; EFT session, see how that goes, contine as required.

Step 2; Walking Mums dogs a bit.

Step 3; visit local dog show or whatever is avaiable at that time!

Ooh, sounds like a plan!

Why not, first - because it'll be free - ring a local dog school and sit in on the lessons?

The dogs will be barking / moving / walking on and off lead, but under control and so no threat?

My mum's dog school has everything from a tiny westie to a nine stone Ridgeback (who is as soft as margarine!) so would give exposure of all types of dogs...?

Ooh, that is a good idea Lewis, I suppose I culd offer to help as a volunteer (even if it is just handing out treats/tea or whatever) Thank you!

There was an 'observer' at our dog training class this week, not sure why, but I was also thinking that maybe it would help you. Our dog trainer has also taught us things like - body language to stop a dog in it's tracks.. which might come in handy.

We have a course starting at our local hall soon. I have the number for the trainer so I am going to give her a call.

Thank you everyone, you have been really helpful! (Mainly because you have made me feel I am not quite such a nutter as I thought

TBH if you do end up at a training school - not a socialisation class, you'll learn a bit about how a dog ticks, so will know that when it comes hurtling towards you barking it may not be threatening etc

I hope you manage to sort it

Have you got a local rescue by you? Offer to help them out.. Contact with dogs will slowly fix the problem plus the rescue will love the help.

Lewis, I know they are not always threatening - intellectually. It is the instinctive response I can't control. I do think you are right though, having more knowledge of dog psych (something that interests me anyway) will help me.

Lucky, that is a good idea, my problem with rescue is that the dogs are "untried" and under stress, none of which makes for a happy dog. If you add my nerves into the mix I worry that I could actually create a situation where some poor dog flips out at me.

No - explain it to the rescue. Alot of the dogs they have in there (esp now the credit crunch has hit) have been loved family pets and yes they will be slightly traumatised but they will also love the attention. Just make sure the rescue knows whats happening and they will find the perfect dog for you.

OR join rescue helpers unite and a local person will either bring their BOMBPROOF dog to you or arrange for you to meet them.
They are all lovely people and would love the chance for a cuppa I expect! lol

Lucky, you are probably right, wouldn't I be diverting their resources though? I mean worrying about me rather than the dogs.. but then I would be earning my keep... [thinking emoticon]

I just clicked your link and it took me a good 5 mins to work out that I had to register to see the bits I wanted [slaps forehead emoticon]