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Original poster

Just got 2 cats and want to send them back!

47 replies

Sheila · 14/02/2005 14:35

Hope someone can give me some reassuring advice here - over the weekend I adopted 2 cats (mother & son, aged 4&5) and I'm finding the whole experience very stressful!

They are very good tempered cats - affectionate & lovely with DS, but the trouble is when he goes to bed they both home in on me demanding attention and hogging the comfy sofa!

Sounds funny I know but I'm a single parent and by the time ds goes to bed I'm completely exhausted. Another 2 pairs of eyes staring at me/trying to get onto my lap etc. is too much to bear. I went to bed early last night just to get away from them.

I'm hoping that things will improve once they start going outside and I can boot them out when I want some peace (how long do I have to wait before I do this, by the way?). Or have I made a dreadful mistake?

OP posts:

Lonelymum · 14/02/2005 15:06

Meant to add, it doesn't make you a horrible person. You just made a mistake.

noddyholder · 14/02/2005 15:07

so mean why do you say UNFORTUNATELY they came in a pair?Find a cat lover to take them as they may never want to be booted out...

wobblyknicks · 14/02/2005 15:11

Can't believe this is a serious poster, sorry. Just for the fact that surely you think about pets more carefully than to get one JUST to please your child, and get TWO if you weren't sure, and can't believe its that huge a burden to give them a bit of a stroke that you get fed up after 1 or 2 days!!!!

Hulababy · 14/02/2005 15:12

Sheila - I think you have to ignore the (unnecessary IMO) criticism and look beyond it for the advice. You have taken on a large bureden, with good intentions. You have been honest on here and admitted that the burden is too much for you right now. Therefore you have to make a choice.

(a) take them back, tell them the honest truth, and let someone else have them

(b) stick it out and see how they get on and you get on; if after a few days - still take them back

Or???

Original poster

Sheila · 14/02/2005 15:13

I think I will see how it goes over the next few weeks. DS will be v. upset if they go back now and to be honest I do think I have to give it a chance before taking them back to be re-homed. I'm just finding it all really difficult at the moment.

OP posts:

Hulababy · 14/02/2005 15:13

Come on guys, give the poster a break. She has asked for advice - not criticism. Sh e has admitted she has maybe made a mistake. Now help advice her on how to got out of the mistake, rather than just commenting on her getting them in the first place

misdee · 14/02/2005 15:14

stroke them lots

Hulababy · 14/02/2005 15:15

Sheila - it is a big thing, getting animals. As you have found out. Give it a 2 or 3 weeks. See how you get along. Maybe get them a nice cuddly rug or blanket - as a substitute for your knee for now. You may find that you enjoy their cuddles and affection as time goes on and they become part of your family anyway.

Lolasmum · 14/02/2005 15:16

Hi Shiela,

I love cats and our cat was so spoilt in terms of hugs and strokes until I had dd. Now, when I sit down to watch TV in the evening I don't want to have to stroke or tickle anybody. Even the puss I have had for 8 years. I just want a bit of time to myself so I know exactly how you feel. Dd is 2 1/4 and poor puss still keeps trying for cuddles. I feel very guilty at times and often wonder if I should find her a new home...

Maybe your ds will start giving them more affection and they will badger you less. Good luck though with whatever you decide to do.

noddyholder · 14/02/2005 15:16

Think of them as little people in furry suits (jonathan ross's words)and try just giving them a bit of attention at night they can be quite relaxing.Sorry to be so blunt earlier in post but I love cats

Lonelymum · 14/02/2005 15:17

The funny thing about this thread, to my mind, is that these cats are so affectionate. Many people complain that cats are too aloof. I wonder if that is where your problem lies? Perhaps you expected them to be a bit more independent? In which case, when you come to letting them out, you may find your burden is eased a bit. But please, don't boot them out ever (unless they bring a live bird or mouse into the house). Can you get a cat flap and let them come and go as they please? It may please them more than you expect.

Original poster

Sheila · 14/02/2005 15:17

I give up - didn't think I could feel worse about this but I do. Hope you all feel good about your nasty postings ladies. Cats may be OK in your company but God help any struggling humans.

OP posts:

noddyholder · 14/02/2005 15:18

a cat flap is a must

Original poster

Sheila · 14/02/2005 15:19

Thank you Lolasmum. At last, someone understands.

OP posts:

CountessDracula · 14/02/2005 15:20

Shiela I don't think you should get upset - it is a big responsibility owning an animal and I guess you just didn't realise what it would be like. Everyone makes mistakes, but you really must re-home them quickly if you are going to to avoid any further disruption. Maybe you could try a hamster or something like that instead?

misdee · 14/02/2005 15:21

my hamsters are great. DH recommends chipmunks as much more active during the day and very fun to watch.

CarrieG · 14/02/2005 15:21

If you're going to keep them (& good for you if so!) you need to give them the affection, tho', even if it is a bit overwhelming.

FWIW I have 4 cats I love to bits, but since ds's arrival I quite often feel a bit as you describe...'oh no - here's someone ELSE wanting a piece of my attention'...I wouldn't dream of re-housing them, but there are times I wish I could be left to read a book in peace just for 5 minutes!

Lolasmum · 14/02/2005 15:24

Maybe once they've been with you a bit they'll be more secure in their surroundings and not be so needy?

I really do know how you feel. I love my cat so much but sometimes I just don't want to give. There are other times though when she is such a comfort. Maybe you'll get used to her? Dh hated cats when he moved in with me but now he loves her and he thinks she really helps him with his work related stress.

Don't feel guilty about what you do. If the worst comes to the worst and you have to find a new home for them, at least they will have had a few weeks away for a shelter. Consider yourself a cat foster person! They do exist.

Poshpaws · 14/02/2005 15:24

Sheila, hopefully my posts did not upset you. That was not my intention.

Just did not understand why you would not give them a couple more weeks, as you have literally only just got them.

Anyway, you don't need MN's approval - do what you think is best for you, DS and the cats .

golds · 14/02/2005 15:26

I made a huge pet mistake recently and got a puppy a few weeks ago, I was niave and didn't understand the total responsibility and ended up giving him to a re-homing centre, I still feel bad about it now a week on, but I know now having had him and not having him that I had made a mistake getting him in the first place. He is now in a much happier home with people who were able to deal with him better than me.

We have 2 cats, which we had as kittens and they are lovely, is says in many books Ive read that if you are thinking of getting a cat, then two is best as they are company for each other. I am sure when you are able to let them out things will get alot easier, if they have had all there jabs then they can go out almost straight away, people tend to keep them in so the cats get to know there environment and know where home is.

Don't be too hard on yourself, set yourself a deadline and if you still feel you have taken on too much then take them back, you and the cats will be much happier then.

Slinky · 14/02/2005 15:41

Sorry if you feel my posting was "nasty" - wasn't my intention in the slighest!

Perhaps give it another week or two to see how things go (they'll be able to go out then) and if you still feel the same, take them back.

Know what you mean about nagging kids - my 3 were desperate for a dog (so was DH!) but I put my foot down. It would be ME who took it for walks in the cold etc etc. Changed their minds by "borrowing" next doors dog and took it for walks in rain, cold, winds - and dragging 3 "reluctant" kids behind me

batters · 14/02/2005 15:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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