Friend seems consumed by adopted dog and our friendship has changed

[Kitcatnine]

My problem is that my friend is obsessed with the dog she adopted.I now hate the dog because she NEVER stops talking about it. That is unfair to the dog (for me to hate it because it isn't really the dog's fault), but she adopted a shelter dog (which is great) and then proceeded to pour every ounce of herself into that dog. It's like the world revolves around the dog and I definitely have taken a back seat to it. Or, perhaps I'm not even in the picture at all. Hey, I get it, shelter dog and all, so she's concerned about it, but she seems to have completely thrown me over for a dog! She keeps cancelling get togethers because of the dog, staying in because of the dog, talking about the dog (texting mostly) CONSTANTLY, talking about the foster parents who had the dog before she adopted it, and frankly, I am on the verge of telling her "Look, I'm glad you adore your dog and that you rescued him, but now it seems that your entire life revolves around him." There's no let up. If she does text at all, it's about - her dog! Every conversation goes back to - the dog, at least on her end of things. In addition, she has become quite chummy with the foster parents of this dog and again, has broken many get togethers, promises and a lot more where I am concerned. She isn't remotely interested in anything I might have to tell her unless it concerns her dog! If I have something interesting to say or even a bit of news, it's met with silence unless of course I ask about - her dog! Maybe it's her way of letting me know she doesn't want to be friends any more but after many years as friends, I am rather insulted at being thrown over for - a dog! I don't know if this is a pattern with her when it comes to other people or just me. I just think that while pets are great (I have them too), I believe they can take over your life if you allow that to happen. I don't think it's healthy. Pets are great but they shouldn't dominate your life.

I have "thrown over" a lot of people for a dog. I am not struggling with my mental health, and it is not a baby substitute, but thanks to those posters for being patronising.

I am perfectly happy in my life focusing on my dog, rather than the things I used to focus on ( which may or may not be similar to your friend).

My advice is to take the hint.

I love hearing about dog stuff - I adore animals but as I work fill-time can’t have one so take great joy in hearing people’s dog stories - maybe I am autistic who knows!

This isn’t really about the dog; it’s about your friend repeatedly cancelling plans and showing no interest in your life. A new rescue can require a great deal of attention while it settles in, but friendship still needs to work both ways. Tell her calmly that you miss her and feel the friendship has become one-sided, without criticising the dog. Her response should tell you whether this is a temporary phase or whether the friendship has genuinely changed.

I have dogs. 2 permanent a 4 fosters currently. I have never stayed home for months on end to settle them in. They come, they go amd fit into our household. Sometimes we have baby gates to introduce them and the cats are experienced foster guides. I love them dearly but I dont know anyone who spent 6 months off work settling a new pet. She is obviously smitten and filling a gap and lovely for her but tiresome to be around. I think I would just be honest and say it how it is. She probably needs someone to give her a bit of a reality check and that's what friends are for.