When is it time- elderly cat

[myvolvohasavulva]

Our gorgeous boy is 16 and time is catching up with him, he’s lost weight and has very regular accidents he’s wobbly but I think still has a decent enough life. Vets have checked him and said most likely kidney failure but otherwise just age. He’s still eating and drinking well, can jump up (carefully) on furniture, goes outside to sunbath/ watch the world and whilst obviously being old I think he’s still happy enough but I’m so worried about waiting too long and having him suffer.

if I’m honest I’m also worried that the stress of cleaning up constant messes (which I’m absolutely happy to do for him but obviously when kids step in puddles/ poo outside their rooms etc it’s stressful) might subconsciously make me do it too soon? I know how terrible that sounds and I really don’t resent him at all but worry on some level that I can’t make a non biased call.

Does anybody have advice on knowing when it’s truly time? He’s absolutely adored by us and I’m so worried about making the wrong call.

Think of it as being in a "window of time". This is the period when their health is declining and they are one crisis away from needing to see the vet asap to be put to sleep. You don't want to wait until he can't stand, or is being sick, or just completely flat and depressed. It's not about waiting until the last day in the window to let him go, it's about making sure it's a day that isn't rushed and everyone who wants to be there can be and it's not the middle of the night. It sounds like you're in the window x

If he’s previously been able to use a litter tray or outside for toileting, he will be unhappy / feeling very unwell if he’s soiling or weeing elsewhere, so that may well be a signal that it’s time, but you know your cat best.
For me, that was the clue that my very old, very skinny,
raggedy boy (he was at least 22) had lost his quality of life.
It’s a horrible decision to make, so you have my sympathy.

I think it’s when you start thinking about is it time (usually by the time I start thinking that I’m several months too late cause it’s something you don’t want to think about)

It's a horrible decision to make.
Most recently, Daisy had stroke and then carried on for another two months (happily, there were guys painting the outside of the house and she loved sitting and watching them). But then one day I came down in the morning and she just gave me a look. And I knew.
Gertie snored, and always slept under the bed. Under me. And then one day she didn't.
Watch. They will tell you. xx

Whilst he’s still sticking to his old routines and is happy in himself then it’s fine, invest in some puppy pads if he’s repeat offending in the same places. Once he shrinks his world then you know.

The trigger for me has always been when they stop eating, but it’s really your judgement as to when he starts suffering rather than enjoying his existence. You’re obviously a very caring pet owner OP, trust your judgement.

Yes my poor boy was 17 but really I let him go on a year longer than I should have.

I was having regular conversations with the vet about the inevitable but I wasn't ready.
People used to say to me wow you've still got you cat and I'd say yes he's fine.

Outsiders could see he wasn't but I was in denial.
One day it just dawned on me that I had to do the right thing.

X

Thank you all so much, really helpful advice and so appreciated