A small family dog, young kids and autism.

[SunSparkle]

I’d really like some help.

We would like to get a family dog in part because we both had dogs growing up, two because it’s a good reason to get active and out of the house (we live across the road from a large park), and three because our eldest daughter (currently 5) is desperate for a dog and also is undergoing assessment for autism and it’s been suggested that a dog could help with her regulation.

I'm looking for a small to medium breed, with a good temperament around children, happy with a 30-45 minute walk twice a day (and a big field to run around in), and happy to be cuddled on the sofa. Preferably low shed too

I did some research and it suggested poodle, cavapoo or cavalier King Charles spaniel but I wondered if you had any other suggestions.

I don’t think we will be able to get a rescue with kids aged 5 and 2 but I’d be happy to explore that route. Most of the dogs on dogs trust rehoming seem not to want kids under 7 due to the needs of the dog (understandable).

help me research some other breeds that might meet our needs or share your stories of poodles, cavapoos or cavalier spaniels with young kids.

OP with everything you have going on on I would recommend a non shedding dog. You also want to make sure the breed is one that is family and not alpha oriented with autism in the house (I have DD17 with AuDHD and lord does she love the dog) We have a Wheaten Terrier who is bloody wonderful but other breeds that will work is a poodle or schnauzer (small or medium) Havanese or Maltese. Non shedding dogs are fab but you still have to brush them of course!

Sorry to add another negative voice in here but I got my lab puppy last year when my DS was 7.

DS is NT, quite a calm kid etc and only lives with me half of the time. Despite all those mitigating factors, trying to manage them together at the same time was hard work. You have to train your puppy (and then larger, heavier adolescent dog) what acceptable behaviour is around children as well as teaching your child what acceptable behaviour looks like around a dog.

It was by far the most stressful part of puppy raising for me. Puppies and children wind each other up if left unchecked, they overstimulate each other as well as you if you’re the one managing it… and that’s best case scenario! It felt like absolute chaos at times.

And please don’t let your children ‘climb all over’ your dog if you get one as one person suggested. Do I think my Labrador would ever bite my son in this scenario? My money is on no… but it’s not a theory I would like to test!!

It’s not the dog where the problem lies. It’s how it will be treated in the home and how much time op has. Many beeeds are good family dogs but this one will be used to regulate DDs behaviour and that’s not fair on any dog.

I was just coming on to stay this! Havanese are wonderful dogs that hardly shed, very loving and eager to please. I learned to cut my dog’s hair with you tube videos, so I don’t have to schlepp to a groomer.

Hi op, I’d probably wait til kids are a bit older, but then would recommend a Labrador or retriever. time and again they top lists of best family dog- for a reason. They’re gentle natured, easy going. Usually not really barkers. Autism and sensory issues often go together so you do not want a yappy, barking dog.

Often non-shedding can be more labour intensive than a shedder though. They can need more coat care- doodles for example can be a nightmare as they need thorough brushing everyday, plus very regular grooming to stop them matting.

it you get a short haired smooth coated dog it may be just a matter of some extra brushing and hoovering a couple of times a year when they get their summer/winter coats. This can be easier than 6 weekly grooming appointments, cheaper as well.

i’d only suggest a non shedder if you have the time for daily brushing and regular trips to the groomer. A short coat is easier to deal with.

@Yetanotherone12 I don’t find that at all with ours but I guess we have different experiences.

My Labrador was ace. A daft old mutt, my kids could do anything with her as could our kitties. They may not need grooming but they shed a lot, and I mean a lot of hair, of hair. Hoovering up twice a day sometimes.
Size is an issue, as my grandson said, it’s just like a cow!
My niece’s golden retriever sheds even more.
Beware of a cross breed, you don’t know which traits will be dominant.

But beware, there’s two type of labs. My working lab nor m ally has an hours walk in the morning (less in the heat) , and then 30 minutes plus mental stimulus activity at lunchtime (‘find the ball today’) and then another evening walk.

He would not tolerate anyone climbing over him.

He is gentle natured, but actually ran behind my legs when a toddler ran towards him, arms flailing.

No grooming needed but a good hoover.

I’d agree with this. It’s also a lot easier to clean a muddy lab/short coated shedder than a muddy poodle/doodle.
But as @Justaflippertyjibbet said, the shedding means more vacuuming.
Swings and roundabouts I guess?

Yes- good point. Our Lab is the show breed and very chilled. An hours walk is enough for him and otherwise he just loves company.
thinking about it again though, he is now nearly 7- I was sick of my life when he was 2. Even chilled out Labs are a lot of relentless work.
Op- we’re probably like you- I really love the dog, but we got him more for the family than a burning desire to be a dog owner. I could not have had that hard work on top of toddlers/ small children

My daughter is autistic and she cannot stand how needy and noisy dogs are, we have cats and she only likes the one that is very standoffish.

The idea of a dog can be very different to the day to day reality of it, the overstimulation, the needs the noise, the smells.

I know lazy working lines dogs (rare but it does happen) and completely driven, bloody mental show lines.
Often an individual dog - of any breed/type- simply doesn’t get the memo on expected behaviour

I think your kids are too young, especially with autism and a 2 year old. The 2 year old certainly won't understand to be gentle. Also puppy's are bitey and need a whole load of training.

We have a cavapoo. She doesn't shed & grooming is easy. My husband clips her fur when she needs. She gets her nails clipped once a month for free at the vets when she gets her flea and worm treatments.
She is a small dog, last in her litter. She adores my children. She is like a best friend. She loves all the family & is amazing for an ADHD child/teenager. Although I would say that as gentle and fun as she is - any dog has the potential to hurt accidentally or as a response & I would wait until your child is older. We waited until the youngest was around 7.
Having a pet is a big life change but I think it's wonderful for any child & I know our dog is really happy; she's part of the family. If you wait a bit longer your child can name them, choose colour - and share the excitement of getting a dog. As it is a magical time. She's also still young as they have gone into teenage years and can keep up with them & all the bustle they bring into the home.

I have 2 border terriers. They are excellent dogs and not reactive to children but sort of ignore them and are defo not a cuddly breed. Your daughter might be better with a breed that is more up for a snuggle.

Why would I lie or ‘overegg’ about something that literally anyone can look up online? I’d have thought you’d have been more aware of issues that affects a breed that you’ve apparently owned so many of. I only became aware after considering and researching the breed myself. 50% of cavaliers are affected by age 5, and almost 100% by age 10. You can google the peer reviewed research yourself if you like, it’s been studied in many countries with the same results