Rehoming dog to neighbour?

[DryRiser]

I plan on rehoming my 15 month old girl Cockapoo to my neighbour and his family. Am i doing the right thing?
When my wife and I divorced, I wanted to create a new world for me and my 3x boys. They wanted a pet, I've always wanted a dog, and it made sense. I knew it was for 15 years and all that, but I had to live through the reality to properly understand it and the truth is I can't give her the stability she needs.

There are lots of reasons to keep her, but even more to not.

I've started my own business and at the moment I have a low income. The burden of the dog costs could mean I end up resenting her.
I want to consider selling the home in 16 months time, and it needs lots of repairs and decorating - the dog is a constant physical and mental barrier to this. If she just sat in the corner 5 hours a day and minded her own business then it might be okay, but she's under my feet constantly.
Juggling 3 kids, a dog, a partner who lives 100 miles away, a home, and a new business, is all proving too much for me. I have no help with the dog, so if she has to stay overnight somewhere, it costs me more money.
If my business doesn't work then I will have to get a full-time away-from-home job and that means more time alone for the dog, or more costs.
My partner welcomes my dog to her house, but it's 5 hours of travelling at least twice a month for her, and time alone in a strange house which adds to her anxiety.
Who knows what changes I'll encounter over the next 10 years. It's just not fair on the pup - she needs a stable loving home with lots of people around her.
She'll be living across the road, so whilst I won't be able to see her for a long time, my boys will be able to if they want to.

She’s still young, she needs routine, company, space, and consistency. Right now my life has a lot of moving parts - work, the house, travelling - and that means she spends more time unsettled or alone than she should.

It’s not because I don’t love her... but it’s because I do love her, and she needs the best home she can.

The kindest thing I can do is find her a home where she has more stability and people who can give her that every day.

I know my kids will be so upset though (and so will I)... am i doing the right thing?

You really didn't think this through, did you? Of course she wouldn't sit in a corner for hours! Dogs are a big commitment - my labrador drives me mad sometimes, but I took him on in the full knowledge of what dog ownership entails.
It probably is best for her to go to a different home, but what are your boys going to think?

I agree that you aren't in the right place for a dog. Are your kids of an age where they could step up and take more responsibility for her, or are they too young? If so, then I think rehoming her while she's young would be your best move (and I say this as someone who has toughed it out with many dogs who have gone on to become my most adored companions).

Sometimes it's harder to say 'I fucked up' and make things right than it is to just drift on with things getting worse.

People make mistakes and it is important that as few people and animals as possible suffer the consequences. I think rehoming the dog to your neighbour is the best course. Please don’t be too hard on yourself.

If the neighbour is kind, responsible, dog-loving and reliable then, yes, you're absolutely doing the right thing.

Don't just give the dog to anyone.

It’s easier to give up the dog than the new girlfriend huh?

@AnotherVice that is harsh, nowhere is their mention of a new partner or that an easy option is being taken. Why be so very unkind?

Is the neighbour a bit too close to home though? Wont that confuse the dog and have her trying to escape to get back to you?

I think that's so close that it may be confusing for the dog and for the kids.
Can't your ex take on anything

@AnotherVice I hear what you're saying and maybe if that was my only factor, then you would be fair in saying that, I wouldn't be doing it, but there are multiple factors here... little help, financial concerns, stress for the dog. If my partner was more local, if I had a stable work-at-home job, if I had financial security... this wouldn't be a problem.

I am trying to do what's right for me and all my concerns, but also what's right for the dog, whilst she's still very young.

My ex hates dogs (any animals in fact), so it's not an option. I wish she would, I wish she would have the dog at the same she has the kids, and vice versa.

Absolutely not to re-homing to the neighbours and your kids still seeing her.

Either the pet is yours or it's not - it's completely unfair on the dog to still have your kids in her life just because you don't want to say no to them. You need to put the dog first. There is a reason why when you give a dog up to a rescue you're not allowed to have contact again - that's because it's in the dogs best interest as constantly seeing previous owners is stressful and unfair on the new owners.

Contact Spaniel Aid so she goes to the best possible home, not the most convenient one - if you love her as you say, you'll do this.

Sat in a corner?! You could end up resenting HER?! What for the choices that YOU made? Jesus Christ. Please rehome her to someone decent that deserves her. Don’t get another one. Ever.

a partner who lives 100 miles away
and
My partner welcomes my dog to her house, but it's 5 hours of travelling at least twice a month for her, and time alone in a strange house which adds to her anxiety.

Both these bits make it pretty clear that there is a new partner

youre right to consider rehome the dog. it’s not fair on it.

in addition i’d dump the partner. too far away and youre too busy. you must barely see the kids as it is. concentrate on them and the business.

one other option if the kids love the dog could be to dog share. split all the costs between you.

not sure of the practicalities but horsey people do this as a sharer or pony loan a lot so why not a dog.

more people to walk and love it. more options for care when someone goes to work it out for the evening/away for the weekend etc.

if not that then yes rehome to neighbour but i’d ask if the kids can still walk it sometimes or they will resent you for taking their dog away. too upsetting for them. and they already barely feature in your post….

You put it so much better than I would have done.

It is just so sad reading these threads about dogs being 'rehomed' because they do not fit into the so called dog lovers life.

@TalulahJP sorry, but that's terrible advice. If you give up a dog you give it up. There is a reason rescue centres don't let people continue to see the dog after they give them up - because it's cruel on the dog. It's incredibly different to owning a horse (I've done both).

The kids will need to get over it to be honest, and perhaps a learning curve for them that they don't always get what they want and a lesson learned for the parent not to capitulate to their demands for a dog and thus make an innocent animal suffer.

maybe. i’ve had multiple horses and ponies and have done the loaning myself. sometimes more successfully than others right enough.

what about walk my doggy? and other things like that where multiple people are involved in pets lives. it might not be cruel at all. the dog may love and thrive on all the extra attention. and training; as i imagine there’s been little if that to date ss the op is too busy (and should never have bought a dog, too busy playing disney dad).

the poor kids have had their parents split up their house being done up and sold in 16 months and now their dog given away to a neighbour. Poor kids. Hopefully they haven’t been told about the new girlfriend as that maybe won’t be a long term thing more a rebound. Not sure if the op said how often he has them but it’s all very chaotic and sad.

It never ‘made sense’ in your position to get a dog. what were you thinking….

The dog deserves a good home where she can be loved and cared for, so I would rehome her. Sounds like the neighbour is an easy choice. I’d think very carefully about who takes her on as it would be devastating if she had to be rehomed for a second time.

Completely agree.

This makes me sooo sad reading this original post as I’ve got a cockapoo and literally I couldn’t imagine giving him . My partner died and I’ve got an issue with him but I won’t give him to anyone else , my landlord has just evicted me and I think my dogs crazy behaviour has been an issue but I still won’t be getting rid of him . He’s like my child and I wouldn’t just rehome my child .

Cockapoos are literally like Velcro to their owners imagine how it feels to just be given away by someone you love the most in the whole world :( such a sad situation. I hope you find her a forever home who won’t just abandon her coz she doesn’t fit in with your lifestyle, that poor baby .

Im sorry I absolutely adore the breed and I take these posts personal lol.