New horse?

[Itsthawooluff]

I had to have my oldest horse put down at the weekend. I got back from a (rare) day out to find him completely sweated up and distressed, called the vet, and then had to wait for an hour as they were at an emergency delivery. They found he had colic, and given my old lad was 30, it just wasn't worth putting him through surgery.

DH and friends are very much of the "Now you have room for a horse you can ride" school. I'd had him 17 years, and he'd been retired for at least 5, but I don't think I'm ready yet. If you've had to do the same, did you go out to find a new horse asap, or did you wait until you could go past his box in the yard without tearing up.

{Sorry, I know it's only a horse and really really nothing in comparison to everything else which has gone on over the weekend - but any experience / advice really would be appreciated)

Itsthawooluff . I know how you feel, I lost my old boy after 23 years together and I hadn't had a horse to ride for ages either as I couldn't afford two. I didn't rush out to get another one as I just wasn't ready but I did keep involved and go to the field as I had my friend's shetland to look after. It was quite hard to start with but I'm glad I did it because I think if you break away completely it might be quite hard to find the right time to get back into the swing of things. You say the horse you lost was your oldest one so presumably you have other horses to look after too , which does make it easier in the long run though it doesn't feel like it at the time!
It was 18 months before we started thinking about a new pony and we've now had Woody nearly a year. He is definitely part of the family, we knew he was 'the one' as soon as we saw him, but I can still 'see' my old pony in the field as clear as day. Sometimes I call Woody by my old pony's name but he doesn't seem to mind! If we'd gone out straight away to get another pony I don't think I'd have bonded with it like I have with Woody as there wasn't 'room' for him iyswim. My sister got a pony about four months after mine died and though I was spending a lot of time caring for him I didn't really get attached to him until recently. I'd say don't be pressured by other people, wait for a while and see what comes along. Apart from anything else it's quite hard at first not to compare every horse you see with the one you've lost. Good luck .

for you

Lost mine after 17 years and by then I was grown-up and working away from home and haven't been a horse owner since. Still haven't forgotten the feeling though.

A friend of mine did take on a very difficult but promising rescue horse "to fill the gap" when she lost her eventer and because the new horse was in such a state and she managed to do great things with him, it made her feel a lot better about the whole situation ...ie she didn't feel she was being disloyal to her previous horse and it felt as if it was 'meant to be' iyswim ....

Thank you for your messages - very kind and much appreciated. Yes, we are very lucky and have dh's dutch warmblood, who is 26 himself and retired (so fingers well crossed he doesn't pine too badly), and a couple of ponies for the children, so still lots of horsey involvement. I have no spare cash, no decent clothes and a garden which is feral - but you can't have everything.

We didn't think he would make it through winter 06/07 and he did, and then we didn't think he would make it through 07/08 and he did, so bizarrely I was reconciled to losing him this winter. But to lose him like that was just such a huge shock.

I think I'll probably leave it a while first, and then hopefully I'll be able to find the "right one" rather than a "rebound" [slightly watery ]

Can I make a suggestion itshawooluff.
Don't get a new horse yet but if you feel you need something to take your mind off him or something. Can you foster one for a rescue?

No you must wait and grieve. I waited several months before getting a cat - and that was a new cat not a horse.

Today we had our old pony put down.

The sun was on his back, the birds were singing and the sky was very, very blue.

He was DD1's pony. She is now 22.

I stood there with him and so, so many memories flashed through my mind. It was like a snapshot of hot/wet/windy/rainy pony club summers and years of growing up. But mostly hot summer ones.

And I am unashamingly crying. DD1 is at Liverpoool Uni and also crying. And I can't hold her right now.

For the memories of those wonderful days we thank him. Thinking of what joy and happiness he gave to us without knowing he was doing that.

Sorry not answered your question. Just needed to get that out.

Just do what feels right for you.

Thanks Raffaella - I'm really sorry you found yourself in the same position.