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Golden retriever jumping up and biting me

14 replies

Klmno · 05/11/2025 14:06

Long post sorry!

She's 21 months old.

Ok so I want to preface this by saying she's utterly lovely 98% of the time and I adore her. So affectionate, great with other dogs, chill at home, a right sweetheart.

Most of her walk she's good, then sometimes she will just jump up and attack me. So it's sometimes humping (I didn't even know girls did that!), sometimes she grabs hold of my jacket sleeves with her teeth and pulls, sometimes she actually grabs my arm with her teeth and bites/clings on.

It's horrible and I can't snap her out of it!

When she was younger we had the same issue ALL the time, had a 1:1 with a trainer who fixed it - basically we weren't doing enough eye contact/praise for her checking in on walks, we were letting her sniff to her heart's content and it was causing her to become overstimulated/overwhelmed. We then started doing more focused walking where we'd treat her for making eye contact, with a small part of the walk she was allowed to sniff to her heart's content for a bit.
I think we are at fault as she outgrew the humping/biting, so we kind of just relaxed and let her do whatever on walks with no issues for several months.
Then she had her season and the behaviour came back but we blamed hormones, then she had a 'phantom pregnancy' so we blamed that, but now she's been spayed (after the phantom pregnancy ended) and she's still doing it!

Trouble is, when I now try the eye contact/checking in that worked last time, she now just becomes threatening!!! She's like, oh you've got the treats, and gives me a really menacing look and if I don't treat her she jumps up!

It's worse when she grabs hold of a big stick and I'm trying to get her away from it, and worse when I'm carrying something. It's like she rebels against being pulled away from things she wants. Or if I'm carrying something, she wants it. We've practiced 'leave it' loads, but she is good at doing it during training, but when it comes to a big branch she wants to chew she doesn't care/listen.

She hardly ever does it to my partner but we can't work out what he does differently!

Any ideas for how we can overcome this?

I'm making her out to be a devil dog which I promise she isn't but when she does it it's like she's possessed and has become a different dog!

OP posts:
Honeysuckle16 · 05/11/2025 14:11

Join Dog Training Advice and Support on Facebook. The site is run by professional dog behaviourists who publish guidance on all aspects of dog training. Follow their advice exactly and you’ll see a huge difference.

Klmno · 05/11/2025 14:16

Thank you I will look at their page!

OP posts:
RollyPollyBatFace · 05/11/2025 14:28

This sounds like a case of a teenage dog who’s forgetting her nice manners and behaving badly. Can you have something very high value in your pocket to offer her as an exchange for the stick or whatever it is she’s wanting to keep hold of?

Look up Nell the golden retriever on Instagram. She’s the same age as your dog and they’ve got loads of helpful tips on how they trained her and continue to do so

JackieGoodman · 05/11/2025 14:30

My dog used to do this a lot, its definitely excitement, I generally distract with a stick (not great but does the job). He's doing it less as he gets older. Its like a type of zoomies, I think.

Klmno · 05/11/2025 14:46

@JackieGoodman reassuring to know I'm not alone and yours is growing out of it! It's definitely like zoomies, like she's overwhelmed and overstimulated and just kind of panics!

@RollyPollyBatFace ahh I was warned about the teenage phase 😂🫠 Yes maybe I should keep something really high value just for stick distraction...trouble is she then might get over excited about the treat and same problem. I actually already follow Nellie, her owners are amazing and very dedicated to the training, their tips are very helpful ☺️

OP posts:
LandSharksAnonymous · 05/11/2025 14:54

How much exercise and training does she get a day?

Klmno · 05/11/2025 14:59

She has an hour long walk in the mornings.
Then toilet walks round the block throughout the day (she won't go to the toilet in the garden). Probably 4x 10 mins.
We play with her about 3 times a day, for about 5 mins each time (tug toy mostly, but I'm now worried that's encouraging her to jump up and tug on my sleeve?!)
Training probably 2x 10 mins sessions per day, sometimes just 1 session if it's a busy day.
She goes to 'puppy club'/doggie daycare one day a week, not for daycare but for stimulation and to help her socialise with other dogs, she loves it and I think it helps her be calmer around other dogs.
Once per week her morning walk is a 5k run not a walk.
Do you think this sounds about right?

OP posts:
Klmno · 05/11/2025 15:02

Just to add I think the exercise is about right, she is tired by the end of the walk but not super tired that she won't walk any more, just can tell she's ready for a rest. Tends to sleep after that, until she lets us know she needs the toilet. Sleeps again, then has a potter around in the evening while we're making tea etc, then snuggles up with us on sofa. I don't think she needs more or less exercise but maybe the stimulation/training isn't quite right?

OP posts:
LandSharksAnonymous · 05/11/2025 15:29

Helpfully the below is helpful...I've bolded specific words to help differentiate the advice on particular issues!

Age is your biggest issue as Golden Retrievers really don't mature until they are 3 at the earliest, in my experience. Even then, they'll stay 'babies' (i.e. prone to being a bit manic, excessively mouthy and generally just irritating) until they're 8/9.

For training, I would go back to basics (sit, stay, down, extended stay etc) at home. Reward her for being calm and get 'ahead' of the mouthing. Once she has done as bid, give her the treat straight away - don't wait and give her that chance to jump up. I'd also incorporate it into her walks. Really use the training to tire her out on walks. But use high value treats to do it. Also re-train walk to heel.

I would stop games of tug. It is, as you've guessed, bad for encouraging mouthing and jumping up. The problem is it encourages them to use their teeth/mouth to get what they want. If you're the one playing with her, that'll also contribute to her being more willing to listen to your partner but not to you - as much as I love Goldens, they are a bit thick and will associate one human as the 'fun' one. It's also bad for a developing retrievers joints. If you watch her play tug, she'll be putting all her weight on her front legs - to try and gain leverage to 'yank back' - which isn't ideal given her age.

On exercise, I've often found people think they're giving their retriever adequate exercise, or the right training, but they're very often not - not out of malice, or even not understanding, but because retrievers are just 'built different'. Goldens, in particular, are quite challenging as when they're young they don't necessarily have the stamina to do long walks but need them. That being said, your girl could probably nicely do another 20 minute walk in the evening - just to give her that bit more stimulation.

It sounds to be slightly like she gets 'zoomies' and gets overstimulated which is perfectly normal for her age and breed. You may not want to try it, but I would recommend a giant child's cuddly toy (you can get them off Amazon for about £20/30). Whenever she gets overstimulated at home, or you can't calm her down, but you know she can't take anymore exercise it's worth giving it to her. I have had to do it with my boy (he's turned 3 this week). His 'mania' was so bad when he was younger, and his energy levels so high, that I just couldn't settle him. In the end, giving him a giant cuddly toy and letting him hump it for 10/15 minutes a day did wonders. It is, perhaps, not the nicest and most skillfull way of training a dog (and I know lots of people frown on it - but it's advice I've given before and others have found it helpful). The problem with a young, high-energy, breed that you can't over-exercise due to their joints so there are really very few avenues available to you. Whenever my boy has a manic moment now, he goes and sits in front of the giant stuffie and I know he needs 10/15 minutes to himself in the back garden. Then he comes in and goes to sleep. Sometimes when your dog is manic, the best thing you can do is just to let them go for it.

Don't forget that retrievers were bred to have things in their mouth. It's literally in their nature. Which, unfortunately, makes them terrible thieves but - more importantly - can also make them prone to resource guarding. You're doing everything right in fending off that particular issue. So, when she tries to take things off you, and you tell her to leave it you also need to offer her an alternative - a small toy of her own to carry, or a high value reward. She's not necessarily being disobedient, or not wanting to listen, it's just in her nature. My boy can go an entire walk holding my wrist in his mouth - we're talking 90 minutes of him walking next to me, suckling on my wrist which is beyond disgusting but ultimately it's a form of comfort for him and it's what he was bred to do.

She'll get better as she gets older. Give it another year or so and she'll begin to settle properly - as you say, she's lovely that 98% of the time it's just that 2% where she is, sadly, a Golden Retriever adolescent and therefore a massive twat.

There's a 'Beyond adolescent' thread on the doghouse where a bunch of us whinge about the horrors of owning dogs (lots of gundogs on there). We also talk cake and coffee...but you might find it helpful for hints and tips on working through her issues. There's a few spaniels the same age as your girl!

Sorry that got very long..

LandSharksAnonymous · 05/11/2025 15:48

because retrievers are just 'built different'.

I should probably expand on this! Sorry for even more spam! By ‘built different’ I mean they can look exhausted after an hours walk, but give them another hour or perhaps less, they can be ready to go again. They’re a bit like spaniels in that sense, or even a border collie, in that they might look tired but they can always (and will want to) do more.

You could have a pug, and give it an hour and it’ll be knackered and unable and unwilling to do more. But with gundog…they can always do more and will want to. With time she’ll learn to get used to it, but whilst she’s young, it is hard. It’s why I suggest the ‘sex toy’ (as I charmingly dub it) for those days when she just needs a bit more but can’t necessarily handle it

Klmno · 05/11/2025 16:25

@LandSharksAnonymous don't apologise about the long post at all, I am soooo grateful for you typing all that out!!!!!

It does reassure me that there isn't anything intrinsically wrong and it's teenage phase that some different tactics/training methods could overcome. I hoped it was, but today when she went for me quite badly, I really panicked that there's something 'broken' about her. I guess in the moment it's easy to despair.

Will definitely stop the tug games. I have read mixed things like they help with bonding and releasing some of that intrinsic energy...but I think you're right it is probably encouraging mouthiness. Any ideas for games I could play with her instead? Or should we just use training as a game/bonding time? We do play fetch sometimes but she's rubbish at giving the ball back 😂

Will take a small toy out for next time I take something off her, good shout. I haven't thought of it as resource guarding as thought that was more to do with food but I think you're probably right that it could be an element of that!
You're also right about her enjoying having stuff in her mouth, she's a little litter picker and loves to carry rubbish around. I'm probably just not appreciating that enough about her breed.

Don't think we need the 'sex toy' 😂 as at home she's so chill...used to hump her bed and cushions but has stopped that so not sure she'd show much interest in a teddy. But I'll definitely have it as an idea at the back of my mind 😂

Lots to think about and try - thanks again!!

OP posts:
JackieGoodman · 06/11/2025 17:45

Haha, mine isn't a retriever but I've often said he's like a retriever in a Border Collie coat Grin
Mine is actually more likely to do it when he gets more walks, not less, I think its a sign he's enjoying himself (although annoying)

LandSharksAnonymous · 06/11/2025 17:47

@Klmno glad I was able to help!

Just to clarify, the 'toy' is for whenever the dog is jumping up and over-excited a home (Not just when they're humping). Trust me, it really does help as it gives them an outlet for their energy!

On games/training...try and make the training interactive for her to help develop that bond. You can play tug with her still (just be mindful of the mouthing and her joints - hard surfaces and don't let he lean into her front legs too much).

Good luck! They really are lovely dogs and gems once they grow up a bit😊

Twiglets1 · 26/11/2025 06:48

My friends young Lab does this and it seems to be too much excitement. She brings a toy for him on every walk and he carries it around proudly which stops the mouthing & jumping up to a large degree.

Same tactic when she gets visitors to the house. In fact the dog has started finding his own toy to carry when he hears visitors arriving 😀

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