Please help, my dog bit someone

[Lisa231186]

I can’t believe I’m even having to think about this let alone write for advice but I just don’t know who to turn to and I’m so lost.
Some back story. I have a 3 year old male (neutered) Alaskan malamute. I know everyone says “my dog has never shown aggression” but hand on heart he never has. In fact, he’s sort of known locally for being so friendly and a bit of a dope if I’m honest. He loves people, he’s a fluffy sort of handsome dog and gets a lot of attention. And absolutely loves it. Loves being petted. Has only ever been very docile. We have 3 children who adore him and and who he adores. I’ve always been sensible as I know he’s a dog at the end of the day but never has any fear or worry of him being touched, petted, played with. When people have asked to to pet him I have always said yes he’s friendly. It’s hard to put into this short space just how friendly he’s been until now.
So, on Thursday, I was walking him (it’s usually me who walks him) he was on lead and just walking calmly next to me. We saw our local postman (who knows us and my dog by name) and he said hello (our names) we went to say hi. He was petting bear, and he sort of lent over him and got down to his face. And out of nowhere it felt, my dog bit his lip. I pulled him back as quickly as I could but it was too late. My dog didn’t pull to get back he just sat there didn’t show any further aggression. I know it was still aggression in first instance just want to explain he wasn’t sort of savaging him.
I immediately called 999 myself, the operator asked me what the dog was doing now and he was sat there like nothing had happened. I was a wreck. I’ve never felt so bad for someone and so guilty. They told me to secure him. I live a few minutes away from where it happened so I ran back and secured him in the house and went back to help the postman. By now people had come out of their houses understandably and it was a bit of a witch hunt of me being told what have I done etc. I was really crying and trying to help the post man who kept saying “it was an accident” but I felt like no it was my dog and this is my fault. Anyway, he really didn’t want an ambulance but he called his friend to take him to a local walk in centre and I waited for him to go. I called 101 when I got back and said I need to report what has happened. They told me it had already been done by the 999 operator and I needed to wait to hear from a police officer. I had a call around an hour later from a police lady. She explained she had spoken to the postman, a witness and the dog warden and they had decided it was an accident, not an attack. And that there would be no further action. She said the postman had been adamant he wanted no further action.
But I didn’t feel relieved, I am struggling to explain how I feel. I just never in a million years thought this could happen. I guess I feel like the trust is gone. And with having kids I think I’m catastrophising thinking what if it was a child, one my children, what if he was more badly injured and again, I just never thought this would ever be something he would do.
Since then, I’ve contacted the dogs trust for advice. I’ve booked him in for a vet appointment which is tomorrow. Explained to them, they were shocked too as they know him and couldn’t believe it as he’s always been so gentle and sweet even when having not so nice things done. I’ve also paid for a dog behaviourist to come to my home on Tuesday. He’s been great, he put my mind at rest a bit and has said it could be a totally isolated incident but of course before he meets us doesn’t know a lot more than about what happened Thursday. Both the vets and dog behaviourist have said try not to treat him too differently. But that’s the thing I can’t. I’m so worried, I’m on edge, anxious. I feel so scared of him even being around my kids now. I’ve been getting up at 5:30 to walk him before anyone is around and taking him out late at night in the evening. I keep saying it but I just can’t explain this feeling I have, I’ve never had it before. It’s like I just can’t believe he did it and I’m so fearful that it could happen again.
We’ve explained to the kids (the vet gave us this advice) that he has been feeling under the weather so to give him more space than usual. But even with them doing that, I’m just so on edge. My partner thinks I’m in a bit of shock from the whole thing. I don’t know, all I know is it feels like he was my best friend (he is a mummy’s boy we spend all our time together) to me now, if I’m honest a bit scared of.

Bollocks.

Okay so addressing the “putting him down” comments. I talked about these with the vet today. He was shocked and in his words told me to “get off the internet”
He had to drain his anal gland (sorry if TMI)
We are booked in for a follow up next week.
The vets were wonderful, I left feeling better but it was temporary.

everyone saying “you won’t rehome him”
I had a call with the specialist breed rehoming centre. He could absolutely be rehomed.
i am leaning towards that, the lady I spoke to today was amazing, she made me realise that is an option and likely the best option for us. However she was very firm that I shouldn’t make a knee jerk reaction. And really think about it (it’s all I’m thinking about) My husband doesn’t like the idea, everyone I know thinks I’m mental for wanting to do it and yes everyone is going to hate me (myself included) but ultimately I know deep down it might be for the best. My dad isn’t talking to me today because he is annoyed with me for taking the rehoming steps and not letting him move with them. Feels like everyone hates me right now when I’m actually thinking of everyone else.

im still going ahead with meeting the behaviourist tomorrow, it’s paid for. It won’t hurt. After a few helpful comments yesterday about getting a second too, I arranged that for Thursday so will do that too. Then by the weekend I need to make a decision. The decision as I said is ultimately on me.
nobody else wants that outcome, maybe because they all actually know us and the dog.

also, I had a blink doorbell notification and it was the postman, I was at the vets. He posted a letter, and went on. I wish I was home so I could have spoke to him. But also don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable if he doesn’t want to speak to me so not sure what to do about that. His colleague said to my partner at the weekend he’s not at all upset with me but I obviously wouldn’t blame him if he was and I’m more than aware he is the victim here so want to respect his boundaries.

His colleague has given him my number so maybe I just wait and see if he reaches out.

Anyway, that’s the update sorry it’s taken a while.

OP- you have done everything a responsible owner could do. I admire how you have sought advice and help, and that your eventual decision is based on knowledge and evidence. You will have done right by the family and your dog, so I hope the family supports you.

I hope they do too, but it feels like they won’t right now :(
everyone keeps telling me to stop writing on here and listening to people who don’t know us or the dog, but weirdly. Apart from some people judging in a nasty way (totally expect it I can take it) I have been able to see different perspectives.
every single person I’ve spoken to in “real life” is making me feel like im a bad person for feeling like he has to go. Which in its self is ironic as I’m the closest person to him and would be the most heartbroken. Of course everyone will be so upset. But it’s me that is home all day with him, me who cares for him. I wouldn’t take this lightly, but yeah anyway dad’s not talking to me. Husband is barely talking to me. Friends are telling me I’m being a drama queen or similar.
sorry rant over.

the amount of twats who are condoning this dog's behaviour is mental...dog needs to be pts not rehomed for someone else to deal with

i find it flabbergasting beyond belief that your dad/DH don't seem to give the slightest shit about their grandchild's/child's safety. Regardless of feelings about the dog being PTS (he should be), there is no way in hell I could ever trust him anywhere near a child, when they have such propensity to get in animal's personal spaces and be so unpredictable.... it's madness that your family would think that is fine

What would the dog have to do in your friends/family's eyes before rehoming or putting to sleep would be reasonable???

It has been reported to the post office as per procedure. According to the other postman on Saturday.
I reported it to the police myself.
The police spoke to the postman and an independent witness (I don’t know who)
the police discussed with the council.
it has been recorded as an accident and no action taken. The police lady on the phone when I said what next, she said nothing from their side.
as people have mentioned he might decide to go down the legal road of compensation. I would get that. I’ve checked with my home insurance I have the cover in place.
that’s entirely up to him, and like I said i would get it.

“Everyone is going to hate me”

Who is “everyone” here? Because other than your husband, the other adult who lives in your house, they don’t get an opinion. You’re not just dumping a dog that has become inconvenient or something. If you do rehome, it would be because (I assume?) you’d no longer feel comfortable with your children in the house with the dog? No one here can say whether that’s a necessary thing to do because no one can say whether there is a risk your children might get bitten (and of course if you do rehome you’ll never know whether it was necessary). But it’s certainly not unreasonable to want to prioritise your children’s safety, even if others think it’s overkill they don’t have to live in your house and worry about it.

That’s not me saying you should rehome (although my children wouldn’t be going to your house, because I can’t guarantee they won’t do something inadvertently that the dog might not like, and with such a big dog, I wouldn’t feel comfortable that it could be restrained if necessary) but you can’t base it on the opinion of people who don’t live with you.

That’s the thing - no one knows but if it’s happened once it could definitely happen again.

Any dog that has shown aggression like this needs to be put to sleep - it can’t be trusted at all

ah well when it attacks you, your kids, anyone again youve only got yourself to blame but keep on thinking your "fur baby" won't do it again...bullshit from someone who works at the rspca and was attacked by a german shepherd for no reason...just turned.....it flipped out of no where..i had to beat that beast off of me...im still here to tell the tale .someone else might not be so lucky

You're a right charmer, aren't you?

no a realist

have you ever been attacked by a large breed dog...go away and come back when you have

obviously if he savagely attacked the way you’re describing then yes. Putting to sleep would be the decision.

For the record… I’ve never called him my “fur baby” find the term really cringe.
no shade to anyone who does.
but the assumption of me as a person is a bit off the mark

absolutely.... but there's a few people on here who are maybe short of a brain cell or two who would disagree..obviously never witnessed the damage a large breed dog can do and hopefully they never will

people like you can't be helped...you do you my lovely

I have a reactive dog that has bitten occasionally (me and DP) nothing serious but if it was on the lip would have caused a decent cut as its delicate skin, ours were on arms/hands. All dogs have the potential, imo. I've always said if I had young children (I don't) I'd be rehoming (if possible) to someone without young children. We manage his behaviour and when needed for holidays put him to a kennel that is aware he has a bite history.

I'd go with the breed rehoming OP. Good luck

@Lisa231186 are your partner and Dad going to the appointments with you? Given that you are the one that witnessed what happened, have arranged the appointments and will be the one that spends the most time with the dog in the future, I don’t think it’s fair that they are questioning your judgement.

I’m one of the many that wouldn’t class what happened as an attack, more a warning from a startled dog, but you know the dog best and if you have lost trust in him which you don’t think can be rebuilt, then you are doing the right thing in considering rehoming him.

And how long before you replace him with another large breed unsuitable as a pet?

To me this sounds like an accidental bite, rather than a malicious one (I am the first to say pts if the dog is dangerous). I have been on the receiving end of one of these types of bites (owner had dog off lead, it was overexcited, she had not trained it etc, apparently would not have happened if I had a dog with me). Dog (& owner) backed off very quickly after I yelled at them. A vicious attack would have continued.

Your dog is not dangerous, maybe just mishandled. OP if you rehome the dog would you get another one? Would the bit risk be the same? Labs bite, as do golden retrievers etc when not handled correctly.

I do believe all aspects of this have to be taken into account. Your dog has a comfort zone of interaction with strangers - possibly this has been overlooked in the past and lower than maybe realised. Stop letting every other person pet your dog. They don't know him and the dog should not be expected to just tolerate random people touching him. I know many owners who hate people touching their dog as they do not really like it.

Do you have a crate or quiet area for the dog at home where he can go and know he will not be bothered (a crate creates a clear line in the sand for all members of the family to understand).

The behaviourist will help define a risk assessment for you to understand the risk to you and your family. Make a decision from that.

So no, honestly I’ve done it all. Husband will be home tomorrow when the trainer comes. The second one on Thursday he won’t.
My dad did offer to come to the vets today but as we’ve had a bit of a falling out now. I just went alone.
To be fair he has reached out to me this evening with a half apology and saying he will support me but also that was backhanded with he thinks I’m making the wrong decision.
I agree, I don’t think it’s fair either, but I’m just a bit drained to argue with them. Which is very unlike me as I don’t back down from an argument if I feel I have to usually.

Thanks for the unhelpful comment and judgment. If you read back you will see it’s changed my opinion on having a large breed. I simply wouldn’t have a dog again. Big or small.

my best friend (who I’ve also referred to) has 2 small poodle type dogs. One has bit 2 people on separate occasions. So yeah I will just avoid dogs all together at this point. It’s not worth the potential heartache.