Re-homing dog today & so sad

[ARichtGoodDram]

I know it's absolutely the right thing to do. The dog is absolutely unhappy and is going to a wonderful new home, but I'm just so sad. Despite the fact I'm a cat person the dog became part of our house so quickly.

We didn't get a dog until our children were older. Three left home and the three at home are 15, 13 and 12. The youngest is in a wheelchair and makes no noise.

Our lovely dog is a shy dog that hates unexpected noises so fitted in well.

However, we now have a 3yo living with us. We've tried to make it work, encouraging the 3yo to be mindful, but he's a 3yo who is adjusting to losing his Mummy and living in a new house. He's also 3. He's noisy. He has noisy toys.

The dog is hiding more and more. He's now growled twice at 3yo just for walking past. So it's not a situation that can continue.

DH's cousin is taking him - a couple who both wfh, no kids or grandkids, big garden. They've always had dogs and have been considering a new one since losing their old boy 18 months ago. So it'll be a lovely life.

I'll still have my cat (who steadfastly ignores both the dog and the 3yo), but I'm sad about the dog.

And I feel guilty. Rehoming is something I never thought we'd do, but I couldn't have foreseen taking in a small child.

Hi OP I’m sorry you are having to do this but it sounds like you are doing the right thing, following an unexpected change in circumstances. We went through something similar and I found it so hard. I really believe in the ‘a dog is for life’ mantra but the reality is that when things change you have to adapt and a dog growling at a three year old means you need to take action. Console yourself that you have found him a good home where he will be loved and have the peace he needs.

Some times life chucks you a real curve ball and the best of plans have to be adapted. Your dog is telling you he's unhappy and not coping with the new set-up and you have found him a loving new home, he will be fine and hopefully you will be able to forgive yourself soon.

I was the recipient of a rehomed dog. Her previous owners were broken hearted but could not keep her.

She settled in very quickly, had an on-site companion in my male dog, whom she loved, and she lives the life of a queen.

I am sorry for the circumstances, but you are absolutely doing the right thing for your dog, and though he doesn’t have the intelligence to thank you, he will enjoy being freed from stress.

So sorry you're in this position OP, sometimes life chucks curve balls our way to deal with! As hard as this is for you, well done for recognising that the situation is not working for either the 3 year old or the dog and taking steps to protect both of them. It sounds as though you've found your dog a wonderful home with people you trust that will meet his needs.

Don’t feel guilty. We love to make ourselves feel guilty even when doing a totally selfless act, like your have with the child. Rehoming the dog makes you a wonderful responsible dog owner. Selfless, you’re putting the dogs needs above your own here. No guilt

We have had quite a few dogs over the years, both bought and rescue. We tried to rescue a dog when our son was 3. He was with a dog fosterer who assured us he was good with children and came to vet our home and family twice. We all thought it was going to be a good match. But within a week he had done the exact same thing, gave a warning snap that showed he was very unhappy. My son had loud toys and I tried to keep him away from the dog but it’s not that easy and was very nerve wracking. I rang the rescue organisation and they told me to return him the next day, no ifs or buts, it was too great a risk, I took him back and sobbed. I kept in contact and found out he was then placed with a couple with no children and no visiting children and was so much happier. I am 100% sure I did the right thing and I am absolutely sure you are, even if it’s hard the alternative is unthinkable.

Don’t feel guilty. A three year old who’s lost his mother, and I assume you and/or your DH have lost someone close to you as well if his mother was a relative/close friend. That’s an awful lot to deal with, and not something you could have foreseen when you got the dog.

Did you tie it to a tree and abandon it? No you rehomed very well. Feel good you did the right thing for the child and the dog!

Please don’t feel bad you sound lovely ! You clearly care a lot and are trying to do your best for all involved. Be kind to yourself

You are doing the only thing you can do. No guilt.

You need to keep the 3yo safe and also the doggo. It's not fair on him to be stressed by the child's presence and ultimately get blamed for being aggressive towards a small child.

I am sure he will be very happy in his new home x

I was ready to say what an awful thing this was and how you should be more committed and prepared to deal with situations that arise.
But I can fuck off - no one could ever foresee this situation and you are absolutely trying to do the right thing by all involved. There is no other choice but to put that 3 year old first. It's an awfully sad position for you to be in, but it's wonderful that your dog is going to a home you know will be lovely for her.

Be kind for yourself, this is not something you could ever have anticipated.

I’m sorry it has come to this OP, but you are doing absolutely the right thing. I used to work as a rehoming officer for a large UK breed charity and I rehomed and moved dogs all the time. What I will say is this - please don’t take it personally. Most dogs move on and don’t care where they are, so long as they have their needs met. Of course a move is strange for the dog but I’d say most dogs settle in 2/3 days. They don’t pine for their owners like we think they do - they live in the moment, not in their past 🤗 the 3 yr olds safety is paramount.

@ARichtGoodDram You sound like a really wonderful person. You are doing the very best by everyone, you are selflessly putting the needs of the child and the dog first. This will give you the time to love and support a grieving child.

It also sounds like the dog will bring a huge amount of joy to its new owners. Shrug off the guilt, there is nothing to feel guilty for.

You have done a brilliant thing, and for the best of all the parties involved. Of course you will miss the dog, but take comfort in where they have gone.

My eldest cat was getting beat up by my other cats so went to my parents. It was very sad and I felt really guilty but in reality she bonded with them brilliantly, had a much better quality of life and a more peaceful time than at mine. You did a wonderful, responsible thing (more than one it sounds like from your post) and have been brave enough to make the hard choice. Your dog will be fine, and you will know how she is doing, which is a blessing. I am so grateful for my rescue pets.

The fact you're so bothered by this shows what a good owner you are, and what a lovely person you must be.

Please don't beat yourself up, this happened due to circumstances beyond your control. And it sounds like the dog will have a lovely new life, hopefully you can visit from time to time.

Don’t worry about the dog, a week in its new home and it will be fine. The vast majority of dogs rehome very easily as long as they’ve got what they need. Just don’t visit the dog for a month or so as it’ll confuse him.

You're doing the right thing!

the dog is going somewhere you know & trust & will have a good life ❤️

you have found yourself with a bonus 3 year old. You are doing amazing to give him a lovely family home & he's going through enough, without being allowed to act like a 3 year old. It's not his fault he's three is it.

it's not a situation you could have anticipated ! It's not a situation where you coukd have put your dog first and saud 'no' to having the :
3yo.

its not like you've put him on gumtree & accepted the first person saying they'd have him

Devastated you have to rehome is understandable but you have NOTHING to feel guilty about! Nothing.

🤗🥰

The dog is happily curled up on a rug in front of the fire in their new home.

We're all a bit sad here. My teens are, understandably, gutted, especially as the cat is a bit of a dick (as most cats can be) and ignores them, but they understand it was the right call.

I never thought I'd be someone who rehomed an animal, but it would have been selfish to keep the dog.

Thanks for the place to vent. I'm trying to be the "yes it's sad, but..." positive face at home .

It's not his fault he's three is it.

This was my clincher. The three year old had to be allowed to be three.

And the dog had to be allowed to be a dog.

Keeping them in different parts of the house wasn't remotely fair on either of them.

It's very unselfish of you. Go and visit him for cuddles every now and then and know you're doing the right thing.
Be aware though that it can take several weeks to settle in new home.

I’m generall keen on rehoming/taking to a rescue as they’re so overcrowded at the moment and some people seem to do it over nothing. But this is one of those situations where it genuinely seems like the best and only option, so please don’t feel bad or guilty. You’re doing an amazing thing by taking in a little one who’s just lost someone very important, and like you’ve said he’s 3, especially after what he’s been through he needs to just be allowed to be 3, and the pup also has to right to feel safe an uncomfortable. This isn’t something you’ve planned and you’ve taken the right steps to re-home him somewhere suitable 🩷