My dog died today...

[solo]

My dog died today. She would be 13 this week and we think she had a stroke. My Ds 9.10 is taking it very hard. Mollie is still in the dining room as I couldn't did her a grave, I just don't have the energy as my ME is quite bad right now, so I'll have to find the money to have her cremated and take her to the vet tomorrow.

We had some weird stuff happen a bit before and during her passing.
My Ds was staying at his Grand parents for the weekend and before they knew about the dog, my dad was saying that he and Ds smelled the smell of wet dog, which was amazingly strong on Ds at about 9.30 last night, keep in mind that this is in a different house where there are no animals. We think that was when Mollie started to fade, though we didn't realise as she's always been a lazy girl that loved her bed. Anyway, at about 12 midnight Dp went to let her out in the garden for a wee and he called me through. She looked lethargic, but otherwise ok, except that her hind legs were damp. I got her out of bed and her bedding was wet, but not smelling uriney(no idea), so I changed her bedding and we kept an eye on her and at just before 2 am, when going to bed, she was obviously not herself, so I resolved to get up early and see how she was and then go to emergency vet if necessary. Part of me(deep down)knew it could be the end though as her breathing was quite shallow. I really wish I'd sat with her so she wasn't alone though...that's my biggest regret.
Dd was asleep but at around 2.20/2.30 she woke up and even after feeding wouldn't calm down or go back in her cot, she was quite hysterical, so I took her downstairs...remember, we'd not even left Mollie for an hour at this point. I checked on her and she was gone. Rigour had already set in! I was shocked and stunned. I'm very sad about it all...she was such a gentle soul.
Ds apparently had smelled the wet dog smell again this morning and I didn't tell him about Mollie until about 18.30 this evening, so I'd like to think that Mollie had said her goodbyes to Ds when she knew she was going and to Dd as she went. Dd just loved her so much, used to run in to see her first thing in the morning and when we came home etc shouting ' ooof, ooof!!' it was so lovely. Funny thing was, she didn't do it either this morning or when we came back from mums this evening. Spooky.
Hope nobody minds we just talking about this, I do feel alone with it right now and Dp has returned to work...Glad he was here though at the time.
Thank you for ' listening'.

Thank you all for your lovely words and fond memories. I'm crying yet again. I was so hard when I found her. Cold, you know....' The dog's dead' I kept thinking about how I'd delivered that to Dp, ' the dog's dead'. He even mentioned it, that it took him by surprise that I'd said it that way. Perhaps if I said that and not ' Mollie's dead' it wouldn't be my dog that was gone, just a dog. I feel strangely sad. Much more sad than I really thought I'd be - for her, because she wasn't my baby iyswim. That detached feeling I took on towards her doesn't feel like what I'm feeling now. I'm rambling, trying to make sense of these feelings. I don't feel nothing, but I know I don't feel like I did with Sally...this is more how I felt with Ben, like I've tried desperately to buffer my heart from the hurt I felt with Sally. I'm sorry, I should shut up.

My dogs are 12 plus now and I am dreading The day.

My condolences, solo.

oh im sorry to hear this i remember when my dog passed it is really sad but my dog stayed with us for a while we would see her at corner of our eye and when we all accepted it a bit more we didnt see her again

just remember your dog had the best life with you so try not to feel so sad she was a good age and went surrounded by people she loved and most animals would rather go with no pain so its nice to know she didnt suffer fo a long time big hugs to you at this sad time

so sorry but you sound like you gave her a lovely life x

Just read that poem to my Ds. He's so upset poor love.
Dd walked into the kitchen this morning and just stood there pointing at the ceiling area of the dining room, totally ignoring the dogs bed and the fact that Mollie is in there all wrapped up. We are taking her up to the vets at 11.30 So very sad. I can't stop crying.

Sorry to hear your news. Hope you're OK today.

My first dog died when I was 14 and for some time after that I used to hear the noise of his metal tag jangling on his collar. This was expecially audible next to the radiator which he used to lie beside.

There was a book, ithink it was called Lovely Bones about this girl who was murdered, but was looking down on the continuation of the rest of the family's life. There was an extremely moving scene where the dog died and a few days later it came running towards her wagging its tail up in heaven. Think of her happy on another plane with with other members of the family.

so sorry to read that you have lost your dog, he is at the 'rainbow bridge' without a doubt xx

Thanks again you lovely dog lovers...
I've just spent ages on Ds's bed trying to calm him down and talk him through it all without bursting into tears myselfhard work!

I took Mollie to the vets. She still felt warm underneath where she was laid in her bed. Very heavy. I put her in the car and then got the kids into the car and we took her. I left them both in the car though as I couldn't deal with a dead weight doggie and toddler plus upset Ds.
I was fine, then gave her over to the receptionist and then had the crying fit.

Funny, when we came home this evening from my parents, Dd walked in, no ' oofing' and she looked into dining room, went over to Mollies bed and just looked at it and walked away...she sooo knows! I'm sure she's been here before...wise, wise, wise - for 17 months.

Now got to get all her stuff put away so that it doesn't keep reminding us all.

Thank you for all your kind words of comfort. It's meant a great deal, it really has.

Lazymum, my first dog was 14 when I had to have her put to sleep and I used to actually see her around the house and I felt her go through me which was sooooo weird. I also heard her walking down the stairs which was spooky too.
My parents old doggie was 16.6 and was put to sleep in 1991. They still see and hear her and even people that have since joined the family and not known her have seen her and had her put her head on their knee. Comforting isn't it.

So sorry Solo - I've just seen this. Are the vets going to lay her to rest? Do you need me to help you lay her to rest in your garden?

So Sorry Solo

oh solo, so sad for you. It never gets any easier losing your pet. I know exactly what you mean by trying not to get to attached. I had this with my last dog, for other reasons (he was a rescue with behavioural problems) but i was devestated when i lost him. It is so gut wrenching.

Give your children lots of hugs, you need a cuddle too. She was a lucky doggie to spend her twighlight years with your family and im sure she had a very peaceful life.

Take care
xx

SO sorry for your sad loss of Mollie. Sweet dreams sweet doggy xxx

Oh Margo, I have taken her to be cremated now as I couldn't dig the hole myself
Thank you for your offer. I wish I could take you up on it, but because my garden has been vandalised for the last 12 years, it's now really overgrown and although I tried to do it last night(and got lashed by nettles)I found it just too difficult...the ground was too hard and with the nettles/briars etc, so...as sad as I am to have to have left her at the vets for common cremation(which I hate the thought of)I have now accepted that that is how it must be this time. I really thank you from my heart for your kind offer though, you've made me tearful because of it, but in a nice way.
It is very odd that I'm so upset about her passing being as I did the detachment thing with her.
I keep thinking about her last hours and have realised that although she was looking at me when I was tending her, she wasn't seeing me. She was leaving and I feel so sad now that I know that. God, I wish I'd sat with her while she went...

Oh Solo. It's so sad. If ever you want to meet up, you know I'm local. x

Solo - so [sorry] about your lovely dog

Oh how sad, I'm so sorry solo. She obviously had a wonderful life with you and your kids; it's so difficult when they go.

Thank you Margo, thank you all...
I put the dog bowls away last night and will have to put Mollies bed into the loft out of sight. Dd has not ' ooof'ed which feels sooo strange - she just points(which she's never done before)at the garden through the patio doors. She looked at Mollies bed, but seems to know she is gone for good.
Ds has gone to school today, though he felt he wouldn't be able to concentrate or not cry in school, so I hope he'll be ok. He didn't sleep well and I'm hoping he'll go to bed early tonight and sleep properly.
I will try to find a picture of ollie to put on my profile so you can see what a wonderful girl she was. You've all be so supportive, I truly appreciate you all. Thank you.

I found my cat's bowls the other day,which always makes me - will look at your profile

MM, My first dog Sally used to pick up her dinner bowl and bring it to you for a cup of tea or her dinner and we lost one once and then some years after her passing, I found it under a bush in the garden. Made me all teary too.