Daughter wants a cat? Anything I should know

[Halftermisnearlyover]

Daughter wants a cat for her birthday this week. DH doesn’t want one but he hates pets anyway so I’m going behind his back 😩 we already have a hamster and a dog.

Is there anything I should know before I decide? Is it ok to purchase one on gumtree.

Is it better to get a boy or girl cat or does it not matter.

@Halftermisnearlyover you will never have a carefree holiday again?

Why? Catsitters are a thing

Just be aware that domestic cats can live for 20 years, which is a long time to annoy your husband. Why are his dislikes less important than your DD’s wants?

Cats like hamsters....to eat

Cat and dog and hamster is a tricky combination.

Is the hamster kept in a separate (closed) room where the cat can’t terrorise it?

Does your dog bark at or try to chase cats that come near eg walk along garden fence ?

You’d ideally get a cat that is used to living with dogs - go to a rescue for this.

And personally I’d never get a pet as a birthday present.

Don’t get a cat if the other adult in the house doesn’t want one, would be my top tip.

First I would say don’t go behind your husband’s back, it wouldn’t be fair on the cat. Second I’d say don’t make a pet a birthday present. Sorry this isn’t meant to come across as high-handed.
I would say, take your daughter to a cat rescue centre (may have to book first) and hopefully have your husband on board with the idea too. I remember taking mine, they fell in love with one who was out in the run. The best lesson they learned was we couldn’t choose, we were matched. Just happened they matched us to the one they originally fell in love with! It was great in the long run as she was a perfect fit for us.
Do you have a cat cafe nearby? Why not do that for her birthday then take it from there.
Also, how old is your daughter, out of interest?
I am a big tortie fan but that’s just me ( they are the best fun). My previous cat was 1.5 when we got her, was so easy. My current two torties were kittens and I have to say I found the kitten stage harder by far than babies!
Good luck.

And no not gumtree!!! All sorts of irresponsible people on there trying to make a quick buck out of letting their poor cats get pregnant over and over.

Go to a rescue.

true enough, obviously didn't realise you already have a pooch 😊

Don’t go anywhere near gumtree - they’re likely to be kitten farming.

The most responsible way to get a cat is to go via a rescue. Among other things they should ask how old your daughter is, what other pets you have & if everyone in the family is happy to adopt a cat.

The phrases ‘DD’s birthday present’ and ‘behind my DH’s back’ both suggest you shouldn’t be getting a cat.

Edited to add that rescues, including the one I volunteer for, are brimming over with cats abandoned by people who changed their minds. And that’s hugely unfair on the poor cats.

Your hamster will suffer as you have to be super careful with it. Even if you leave the cage open for a few minutes it's possible the cat will get it. I know because this happened to me and I have felt so hideously guilty about it for 40 years.

Especially as one of mine used to sleep on my head and all my cats have slept under the covers 😂 I didn’t encourage it - was a shock the first time I felt her curled up behind my knees!

She can get one when she leaves home. That’s all you need to know.

Do not get a cat if your husband isn’t supportive. One of our cats is a real nightmare and I can’t see someone putting up with a naughty cat if they didn’t want one in the first place.
They are pretty much nocturnal so are full of beans all night. Mine will jump on our heads from the top of the headboard and has cat zoomies. Funny once or twice but being repeatedl woken up between 2am-6am is a nightmare. We have to shut him downstairs and that means, he’s shredded the oak doors.
He has unravelled the loop carpet which of course needs to be dived on and scratched every time he walks by his destruction! We had some work done at the house and had these cloth wardrobes to keep the dust out of our clothes, he shredded them and I came home to clothes everywhere. Again, hilarious now we look back but all these moments add up and it’s really not so funny anymore.
We had bespoke blinds fitted - chewed them and got stuck in them several times (he’s now banned from that room too).
Dug up my flowers and shit in the plants place. I could honestly go on for days. The chronicles of Percy! He also disappears for weeks on end (we call him six meal Sid).
We all laugh but I would never get another cat again. This is coming from someone with a high drive/ energy dog.

DH isn’t that bothered but would rather not he’s just not into pets. If it I made every decision based on how he feels we would have nothing he’s against everything we do. Me and my daughter adore animals.

Hamster is in the cage all the time comes out for a little bit on the night.

A cat is for life, not just birthdays.

How old is your daughter? Will the cat be an indoor cat, or will it be allowed out? Have you considered the cost of vaccinations, insurance, neutering, etc? If an indoor cat, where will the litter tray be and who will be emptying that? Cat litter is expensive too!

I’m a huge cat lover but I don’t think it’s fair for you to go behind your husbands back to buy a cat. This is not the same as a hamster etc. You should both be in agreement to this. How would you feel if next week he brought home a massive and aggressive dog that you didn’t want?

As for gumtree - NO. Go to a rescue if you go ahead. Many have kittens, not just older cats. Or if you know someone yourself with kittens to home. My sister got 2 kittens for Christmas (2024) from her husband. I don’t know where he found them, but one is now dead due to a collapsed intestine twice and the other has had to have almost all of its teeth removed due to an issue. I’ve heard that these issues are likely caused by inbreeding. So buying a kitten from Gumtree you may end up either similar issues as you won’t know if they just keep breeding and breeding.

Personally, I’ve always preferred female cats - but the last couple of male cats I’ve catsit for have been wonderful.

I'm with your DH, only because you have a dog and hamster already.

I’m well aware had my adorable chihuahua for 13 years!

@PrincessandtheP hilarious, and ofc we really need a pic of said errant prince Percy, don't we? 😄

I would say don't do it behind your husbands back. My husband did this to us, brought a cat in one day completely unannounced and it caused a lot of upset. Now though, I bloody love him (the cat, not the husband, long other story) so maybe your husband will take to him. It's more likely he will if he knows beforehand. I'm sure he wouldn't want to let his daughter down if that's what she really wants, and if he isn't completely averse to a pet.

I don't even know where to start but here goes
You do not get a cat because a child wants one
You do not buy a cat as a present
You do not get a cat unless everyone in the house agrees
You do not get a cat from Gumtree

Getting a cat if you allow a hamster out is madness.

At least wait until you no longer have the hamster.

All the plans for keeping them separate can so easily go wrong and the outcome horrific.

Do not get a cat for a birthday present. It's a living being that you appear to have done no research on. Doubly so because your DH didn't want it. Triple so because you have a hamster (which you should be interacting with and not ignoring in a cage all day) which will be stressed by the cat.

You don't sound responsible enough to own animals, if you're doing it behind your husbands back and asking if it's okay to get a kitten off gumtree.