Looking for dog breed recommendations for anxious ASD 13 year old, potential therapy dog

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Hi so as he title says, we have toyed with the idea of getting a dog to help with my sons anxiety. We have had a tough 5 years with school changes, bullying, my cancer diagnosis, covid etc. We are in the process of potentially changing school again as he just hasn’t settled into ‘big school’ it’s not the right school for him.
my BIL recently got a good retriever which my son absolutely adores but we don’t think it’s the right breed for us- as gorgeous as they are the shedding really puts me off.
just wondering if anyone can reccomend a nice breed that would perhaps help my son, he struggles meeting like minded friends and outside of us his loving family we feel he needs a nice connection- maybe a family dog would help? Would love to hear if this has helped kids in similar situations. Thanks!

You need to consider how much grooming, exercise and training you’d be up for. What sort of size are you after? My dogs help me with my MH. But puppies are VERY hard work.

Unfortunately you have no idea if this will help your son or makes things worse.
Retrievers are usually pretty empathetic and mine has helped me through some tough times but he was a total arsehole as a puppy and yes he DOES shed and brings in a lot of mud as well.
Avoid anyone who tries to sell you a Therapy dog, its bullshit

My ASD DD has benefited hugely from having a dog, but we're a family who would have got a dog anyway. She knows all the local dog owners and can chat to them about their dogs. DDog also wakes her up and is there for a cuddle whenever. She likes having a dog because "it's like someone supporting you, never judging you."

I think when she's joined things like Junior Kennel club or agility classes, there have been more ND people there than NT (just impressions, I didn't actually ask). So it's definitely not an unusual or out there suggestion. All different breeds, so unless you go for something unusual, that won't matter as much as how you look after it, get a breed that suits your lifestyle.

My 4 year old has ASD, and we got her a Lurcher puppy , she’s a medium sized dog, gentle , playful , super chilled , they don’t need loads of exercise a walk a day is sufficient . They are very intelligent dogs and very in tune with emotions . Ours is a long haired but grooming is fine , she doesn’t shed loads and it seems to come off in tufts so easy to pick up and not lots of hair everywhere. She’s a dream.

Something calm like a Havanese or Bichon Frise?

My 17 year old has asd, high anxiety and rarely leave the house. We had wanted a dog for a while and was finally in a good place to get one this year. We did go for a golden retriever and she is absolutely lovely although currently in the teenage phase.

While not trained as an assistance dog she is already helping my daughter with confidence and comfort. The dog notices a melt down and runs over to give her cuddles. She is also more willing to leave the house with the dog and talk to people about the dog.

The shedding isn't too bad yet but I'm well aware she will get much much fluffier.

So, while that was not much help in terms of breed I just wanted to share my experience. I hope you find the perfect dog for your family.

Visit the local dogs home rather than buying a puppy from what is often a dodgy breeder. We’ve had 3 rescue dogs - we didn’t choose them, they chose us! A border collie - lots of shedding, a cocker spaniel - absolutely bonkers and a lurcher - the best by far but hated going to the vets.
You should get a dog because you love dogs, not because your child might quite like one. Maybe try with a gerbil or hamster first? My children loved their gerbils.

If you aren't up for hair, then you need to rethink. Yes some breeds shed more (or at least more noticeably) than others, but dogs are hairy beasts and there is going to be hair!

In answer to your question - what sort of lifestyle do you have? Do you enjoy lots of walking? Is someone around at home during the day? Do you have easy access to a garden and to other space where a dog can run around?

You probably need to start from the point of "what can we offer a dog" than "what can a dog offer us".

I have a 15 yr old DS who is autistic and our dog is a 4 yr old collie x black lab. She has been exactly what he needed! The extremely clever but sensitive-bordering-on-neurotic collie half of her is nicely tempered by the highly food motivated but slightly dozy lab half 🤣 She has taught him more than we ever could about body language, empathy, self regulation and so much more. She knows when he is stressed and comes and rests her head on his knee. They adore each other, but it's been hard work! We had her from a puppy so DS was fully involved with all her training which also helped hugely to form their bond. But also - we live on an actual farm. I work from home so there's rarely any issues with leaving her alone too much. DS is able to take her out on his own because we have so much space. I think I'd find it much much harder if we just had a small garden and had to walk or drive to proper walking spots! So you do need to look at your lifestyle and work out where and how a dog can fit into that. Don't rely too much on making big changes to accommodate a dog, especially with an ASD teenager in the mix!!

Honestly, it’s a great idea but focus on a dogs requirements in the round. Shedding is only one tiny part of all the millions of ways a dog will impact your life. If shedding worries you how will muddy footprints, picking up poo, eye bogies, butting nails, having to go out for a walk when it’s cold and dark and you’re tired, planning your days out or activities around a dogs needs, their smelly food, their grubby natures (they’re all grubby even ones who don’t shed) and I’m not even doing into the demands of the puppy phase.

I just always think when people mention shedding, how small a bit of hair is in the big scheme of dog ownership, that it seems a bizarre thing to focus on as a priority

Does your child want a dog and do you want a dog? Bear in mind that it will be your dog and he could leave home in 5 years with the dog still having several years of life left. Never buy a pet for a child unless you are prepared to do 100% of everything needed for as long as they live. It's why we have guinea pigs instead of the tortoise that ds2 is desperate for.

What do you mean by therapy dog? It sounds, from your post, that you just want a pet dog?

I would go for a dog that likes a cuddle and to sit with you.

big dogs are difficult to sit with on the couch, I would look at a Maltese, Poodle or a poodle cross like a Maltipoo, Shihpoo (Shih Tzu x poodle) etc

i have a Maltipoo (Maltese x toy poodle) who doesn’t shed, loves human contact and likes to sit with you on the sofa.

You can’buy’ a suitable dog. You have to train them, and puppies are Hard work. They also go through a horrible , nippy, bitey stage, hardly the cute cuddly puppy you envisage.

What do you mean by a ‘therapy’ dog? What do you envisage the dog doing? Do you mean a dog you can cuddle, or doing much more?

Are you ready to welcome another being with its own wants and needs into your house?