Dog struggling to adapt to new baby

[xMrsxHx87x]

Hi all, looking for advice/stories of experiences from people who've navigated bringing a baby into a previously dog-only home.

DH and I have two dogs, both rescue, both large breeds. One we adopted 4 years ago and is now 8 years old. The other we adopted 2 years ago and is now 3 years old. The older dog was a stray and has a history of diagnosed anxiety two. The younger dog has previously lived with young children. We followed all of the guidance on the Dogs Trust website prior to baby being born to get them ready for the new arrival - playing baby crying sounds, baby furniture set up in advance, and I even started carrying a baby doll around! We did gentle introductions on arrival home - quick sniff, one dog at a time, then lots of positive attention on the dogs in the presence of the baby. Whenever people have come to visit the baby we insist that they first spend time with the dogs so they know they're still loved too.

Now, we fully expected our older dog to be a challenge with the baby. She is quite nervous around children and we suspect was mistreated by them in whatever home she had before being abandoned to the streets. Surprisingly, she's been completely chill. Gives the baby space, doesn't react at all when she cries, no issues so far at all. The younger dog, unexpectedly, is struggling far more. She gets far too giddy around the baby - not aggressively, but she isn't good at respecting personal space. For example, she jumps up whenever the baby wriggles or makes noise and is constantly trying to stick her head in the moses basket, even when the baby isn't in it (we always correct this behaviour). This means I'm probably a bit more tense with her than I am with the other dog, as I'm constantly telling her no or pushing her back, so I know my anxieties are likely affecting her. She's also started engaging in attention seeking behaviours, such as barking for no reason (we respond by seeing if she wants food or to go outside but it's never that - it's like she literally just wants us to be aware of her presence). I'm also very conscious that this is probably annoying for our neighbours too!

The baby is only 3 weeks old, so it is early days and it may just be a case of perseverance with time. But I am very much open to suggestions! Does anyone have any practical tips for how we can get our youngest dog to relax and adapt? Or suggestions for how I can respond more positively when she's being giddy? Please don't say "rehome" as it's not an option currently - she isn't being aggressive or threatening to the baby. I'd also appreciate positive stories about dogs who struggled at first but eventually came round, for reassurance it will get easier. TIA

How much have your dogs routines changed?
Too often people have a baby when they already have dogs and suddenly stop giving the dogs the attention, exercise and affection they are used to. So, do they still get as much affection and exercise? Do you still cuddle them as much etc?

My 2 dogs are brilliant with my young children but both times it took them a good 6 months to adjust to bringing the babies home. Things that helped were making sure they were getting as much exercise as possible, hard with a newborn I know! Also giving them a space away from the baby to chill. We would put them in the kitchen and used a crate for a bit in the living room as well. If the dogs just giddy not aggressive then praising any good behaviour. We used the word gentle and then praise for calm behaviour. Also trained the kids with the same word as soon as possible and made sure they respected the dogs space, no poking, climbing on them etc. Just try and remember its a huge change for the dogs too it'll likely just take a little time for everyone to settle into the new normal.

We've been very conscious about keeping routine and normality for them. I had a C section so I can't walk the dogs yet, but DH still walks them at their normal times daily. From next week I will hopefully be mobile enough to get back into the habit of walking them too. Possibly she's missing having that interaction with me though. A friend who lives locally and WFH has offered to start walking the giddy one with his dog during the afternoon too, so she'll get an extra runaround.
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Both dogs are with us all the time too, we aren't separating them from the baby, so in that respect they aren't getting less attention. They're still allowed on the couch for cuddles, we haven't stopped that, and on an evening one of us is with the baby on one couch and the other is snuggled with the dogs on the other. In fact they're getting more human contact time currently as I'm home all day, every day. But obviously I'm not able to use that time to play with them as I have the baby attached to me most of the time (just entered the phase of longer wake windows, plus during the day DC only really does contact naps). They do have each other for company though.

I think the issue isn't that they're getting enough attention as the older dog is fine; the younger dog is just struggling to cope with the attention being shared with something else. She's been the baby for 2 years! And I fully admit that when she's being too giddy, my reactions to her probably convey my anxiety that she's going to knock the baby over or something - I could do with suggestions of how to keep my interactions with her calm and positive!

I’d be careful about over correction and try to re direct if the dog is just being curious and not doing something dangerous. You run the risk of the baby being ‘bad’ if you’re constantly on the dog’s heels for stepping what you perceive to be out of line.

It’s on you to keep the baby safe. Personally, I wouldn’t be using a Moses basket with two large dogs. It’s too accessible. You need something you can put the baby in that the dogs cannot access, or have a stair gate on the room with the Moses basket when the baby is in it. I had a travel cot that I could plonk DD down in fast if I had to run to the door or something, or I’d shut the stair gate on a room to have an even stronger physical barrier.

My first impression is that you’re over correcting and the dog is getting anxious and desperately willing for the attention/dynamic that existed before hence the attention seeking. It’s going to get worse if the current status quo continues.

These are really good tips, thanks. I need to stop using the word "no" as I worry she's going to start associating the baby with getting told off - "gentle" as a command word will definitely help to differentiate between wrongdoing and adjusting behaviour specifically relating to the baby. It's also reassuring to hear it was a 6 month adjustment period, as we are only 3 weeks in, so it is early days. It helps to have an idea of a timeframe of how long it may take for the new normal to establish itself.

I love my dogs so much and I've always been critical of people who re-home before the baby is even born or give up immediately when things get tough (obviously excluding circumstances where a dog is showing signs of being dangerous to the baby - that's different). When I was pregnant and hormonal, even just the hypothetical thought that our dogs would be a risk to baby and have to be rehomed was enough to make me sob! So I'm relieved we're not in that position, but I do feel so sorry for and guilty about our younger dog clearly feeling a bit down about the change of circumstances.

We were in such a similar boat when our baby arrived two rescue dogs, one older and anxious, one younger and overly excitable. Honestly, I thought the older one would be the challenge, but it turned out the younger dog just couldn’t calm down around the baby always jumping up, barking for attention, and hovering way too close.

What really helped us wasn’t just giving her more exercise (which didn’t make much of a dent at first), but understanding how her behavior was a communication, not just a problem. Once I shifted my mindset and started reinforcing calm behavior before she got overstimulated, things began to change. We also introduced a few simple daily routines to make both dogs feel secure and included not just managed.

I came across a guide that talked about this whole transition in a way that finally clicked. It wasn’t preachy or full of unrealistic advice just real, practical steps to help everyone (human and dog!) feel more at ease. I still refer back to a few notes I took from it when things feel off.

It took a few weeks, but the change was noticeable. Our younger dog is now much calmer, gives the baby space, and actually goes to lie down on her own when things get too noisy or busy. It does get better with the right approach. You're already doing so much right just a little extra insight can make all the difference.

I'd forgotten I'd posted this thread! I've been following the suggestions from @Yaty over the past 2 weeks, and allowing the dog to get a bit closer to the baby, praising gentle sniffing and using "gentle"' if I need to back her away a little if she's over keen. In the past week we've definitely turned a corner - she seems to be much more herself now and is less excited by/interested in the baby than she was. So I think she's getting used to the baby being part of the furniture now. In fact she's currently sat next to me asleep, and the baby is asleep in my arms. Obviously I'm not going to let my guard down and will never trust the dogs fully around a newborn - I will always be eagle eyed! But my being calmer and less anxious, has had a noticeable impact on her demeanor.