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Original poster

Friends Upset Over Tick Situation – Are we really in the wrong?

523 replies

Dogowne91 · 04/06/2025 09:41

Hi everyone,
Would really appreciate some honest opinions on something that’s left us a bit stunned.
We just got back from a 2-week holiday and had left our dog with close friends who kindly offered to look after him. They also have two dogs, and they spent loads of time together — running around the house and their big garden, playing, sleeping near each other, out on plenty of walks, the usual.
When we picked up our dog, they told us they’d found 8 ticks in a matter of days — some on our dog and some around the house (sofa, bed, floor) which explained why they had asked if our dog was on tick prevention whilst we were away. We were honest from the beginning: he wasn’t and hasn't been for at least a couple of years. Totally our fault, just hadn’t gotten around to it. We also discovered they have treated him straight away once they discovered he wasn't up to date with it (they spoke with a vet first).
They’re clearly really upset and, honestly, we’re a bit taken aback. We obviously didn’t mean to put anyone at risk and feel bad — but also, we live in the Devon countryside where dogs are running through fields and long grass all the time and if we find ticks, we normally simply remove them from him. Ticks are kind of unavoidable here and the likelihood of Lyme disease is not that bad.
We’re now wondering… did we seriously mess up? Should we have flagged this before leaving him with them? We never thought it would cause this kind of fallout.
Would really appreciate some honest thoughts. Is this as big a deal as they are making it seem?

OP posts:
Nurturegrow11 · 04/06/2025 15:37

sandyhappypeople · 04/06/2025 14:37

we live in the Devon countryside where dogs are running through fields and long grass all the time and if we find ticks, we normally simply remove them from him. Ticks are kind of unavoidable here and the likelihood of Lyme disease is not that bad.

This is the problem OP, it's not necessarily the fact that they found the ticks, it's your complete 'meh' attitude to it. I don't treat my dogs for ticks or fleas either unless they need it, but out of our three dogs, I've only ever found 3 ticks in ten years, if I was routinely finding ticks or lived in a tick heavy area then I'd be routinely treating them to protect them and to protect people that they then come into contact with.

The fact that you don't take this seriously enough and are inferring that they take it too seriously is why they are fuming with you, you put their dogs and them at risk and you don't even seem the slightest bit bothered!

It reminds me of the time a good friend put my expensive manual camera in a rucksack with an open bottle of wine whilst we were on holiday and moving to a new location. Yes, an open bottle of wine. She said the cork was in. Who does that???? I love her, but of course, the cork came out. The camera was ruined and my insurance wouldn't pay out for that.

Similarly, you think it's ok not to tick, worm, flea your dog, but it caused damage to your friends. Possible harm to them, their dog, their house, and their time to clean. But because you think 'you just remove ticks...' it's fine. It's not fine. It's just careless and shows a lack of thinking. You say they didn't ask you if you had treated your dog. Well the standard is, any normal person would treat their dog! You should have told them you hadn't.. then they wouldn't have offered to help you. Hopefully this may help you learn to not be so careless in future.

TimeForATerf · 04/06/2025 15:38

I'm more shocked that you haven't treated for fleas in two years either, they're impossible to keep away at this time of year, I don't often think about ticks, but I do fleas, and the treatment I use does both, so no ticks either.

A Goldie with all that long shaggy hair and you don't treat for fleas? wow.

PennyRest · 04/06/2025 15:39

Sorry but that’s grim. I once saw a tick in my friend’s drink in a cafe where a couple with a dog were seated right next to us. The poor creature was also rubbing his arse on the floor. So glad we’d nearly finished.
Guessing they skipped treatments too.

PennyRest · 04/06/2025 15:40

quote fail, that was in reference to you taking g the dog to cafes and people’s houses etc

hepsitemiz · 04/06/2025 15:41

we live in the Devon countryside where dogs are running through fields and long grass all the time and if we find ticks, we normally simply remove them from him. Ticks are kind of unavoidable here and the likelihood of Lyme disease is not that bad.

1 If "ticks are unavoidable" that's all the more reason to protect your dog

2 Great that you remove ticks, but by the time you've found each one and removed it, any disease may have already been transmitted... plus, you're only removing the ones you find - what about the ones you don't find?

3 What do you mean "the likelihood of Lyme disease is not that bad"? Do you mean you live in a low-incidence area? And where your friends live?

4 Besides Lyme, have you googled all the other serious tick-transmitted diseases out there?

You only have to see your DD struck down by piroplasmosis or Lyme once to become tick-obsessed. It is devastating to see a dog that sick, and round where I live, many die from piroplasmosis.

I'm kind of surprised your vet has not set you straight - please tell me you go for yearly vaccinations and check-ups?

SlipperyLizard · 04/06/2025 15:41

I had a colleague who had to stop working (in his 30s) after catching Lyme disease from
a tick. Yes, it isn’t normally that bad but it can be.

QuizzlyBears · 04/06/2025 15:50

You ‘hadn’t got round to it’ is a poor excuse. Is your dog vaccinated?!

TaggieO · 04/06/2025 15:56

PlasticAcrobat · 04/06/2025 15:30

With respect, this is waaay over the top.

I seriously considered abandoning preventative flea/tick treatment recently, when there was the publicity around all of the excessive pesticides affecting wild birds (as a result of the growth in pet ownership and the greater likelihood of people treating their pets religiously every few months).

Luckily my vet claimed that the chemicals their practice uses aren't the ones responsible for the publicised threats. Without that reassurance, I would have winged it with tweezers and daily checks. I still will if the evidence changes.

With my previous dog, I only remembered to pick up treatment about once a year. The subscription model that so many vets use these days (with regular preventative flea/tick treatment built into the basic cost) means that I treat my current dog every three months. That business model is probably responsible for a huge (and possibly toxic) surge in the amount of pesticides sloshing around the countryside.

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not worming your dog can kill it. I suggest you educate yourself.

BombayBicycleclub · 04/06/2025 16:03

We use bravecto chewable tabs every 3 months.

Littlemissviolin · 04/06/2025 16:05

Redheadedstepchild · 04/06/2025 15:16

If it helps, I have late stage Lyme Disease and anaplasmosis (another tick borne disease.)
It took four years to be diagnosed after I had presented at A&E with what were probably first stage symptoms, then collapsed in the street with what was probably second stage symptoms which looked like a stroke, (one sided face droop etc)
Finally, after four different one hour flights back and forth to different hospitals in Marseille and several overnight stays there in hotels (at great expense)
MRIs
EEGs
ECGs
Lumbar puncture
Very painful nerve conduction tests which involve having two inch long electrically charged needles being stuck in your arms and legs...

I was given a one month course of Doxycycline last September. You can't go out in the sun on Doxy (bit of a bummer in Southern Europe) because you burn within minutes, it gives you nausea and upset stomach, can cause gastric damage (I've had a perforated duodenal ulcer in the past so that's not good) and on and on.

The month's course did nothing. The specialist said to wait six months for any effect and I may have a paradoxical reaction (feeling even worse) Which I did/am. Some people have to stay on Doxy for months or years. I am currently saving up for my nest trip to a specialist in Marseille.

My GP could just give me the antibiotics himself, which are the only treatment, very cheap and available in any high street chemist or the specialist could give me a Zoom appointment or similar but that's too easy and cost effective...so I have to get on the plane...

I have neurological symptoms that are numbness, pins and needles and electric shock pains in my arms and legs. I can only wear a very limited range of fugly shoes, can't walk far and stagger like a zombie when I do.

My knees and ankles are frequently swollen and have arthritis like pain. My fingers have nodules on their joints, are bent out of shape and again, have arthritis like pain.

I am extremely fatigued and obviously all this affects my ability to work and my quality of life.

Thankfully, so far I don't think I have Alpha Gal which makes you allergic to red meat and I don't seem to have any cardiac symptoms.

I used to work in a manual job. I am unqualified for anything else.

Nobody in your friends or family will generally have any idea what Lyme is.

Apart from all that, it's no big deal.

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Just here to say so sorry for you.

I too had Doxy and found it very unpleasant.

Very best of luck with your treatment and recovery.

godmum56 · 04/06/2025 16:06

PlasticAcrobat · 04/06/2025 15:30

With respect, this is waaay over the top.

I seriously considered abandoning preventative flea/tick treatment recently, when there was the publicity around all of the excessive pesticides affecting wild birds (as a result of the growth in pet ownership and the greater likelihood of people treating their pets religiously every few months).

Luckily my vet claimed that the chemicals their practice uses aren't the ones responsible for the publicised threats. Without that reassurance, I would have winged it with tweezers and daily checks. I still will if the evidence changes.

With my previous dog, I only remembered to pick up treatment about once a year. The subscription model that so many vets use these days (with regular preventative flea/tick treatment built into the basic cost) means that I treat my current dog every three months. That business model is probably responsible for a huge (and possibly toxic) surge in the amount of pesticides sloshing around the countryside.

Show quote history

the "all in" thing is why I didn't go for my vet's subscription model. If the OP you had quoted had said "If you won't give your dog the preventative treatments they need" then I would have agreed but IMO not every dog needs everything for the whole of their lives. Having said that, a dog who lives in a tick/Lyme hotspot and free runs in the local countryside deffo does need tick preventative treatment. Dogs get Lyme too.

Halludram · 04/06/2025 16:07

TaggieO · 04/06/2025 15:13

Please look into rehoming your dog. You clearly aren’t caring for them. If you won’t treat your dog for fleas, worms and ticks then you shouldn’t have one.

Bloody hell this has got to have the most OTT post award. Some of the responses on here are wild(er than ticks)

CopperWhite · 04/06/2025 16:11

Really not up to you to decide if they need another deep cleaned, and it would be shitty of you not to offer to pay considering.

You owe these people a mammoth apology, and you need to accept that they can create as much drama as they want.

Blistory · 04/06/2025 16:15

Halludram · 04/06/2025 16:07

Bloody hell this has got to have the most OTT post award. Some of the responses on here are wild(er than ticks)

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Agreed. There are enough posts from people who have said that they do give treatment but still have to remove ticks to show that the best treatment is awareness and checking people and dogs.

Are we going to ban walkers from country pubs and cafes because they're just as likely to be bringing ticks in ? Or campers ? Do all these posters treat their own gardens to eliminate ticks ?

The best preventative is to check physically and to be alert to the possibility of Lyme if bitten.

OVienna · 04/06/2025 16:16

Wait a second - your friends asked if your dog was treated for ticks, you were honest and said no, they had the dog to stay anyway and now they're pissed?

OVienna · 04/06/2025 16:17

I am not saying you shouldn't be up to date with the meds, but I'm wondering why the friends agreed to have the dog stay at all, if you were upfront with them?

Halludram · 04/06/2025 16:18

Blistory · 04/06/2025 16:15

Agreed. There are enough posts from people who have said that they do give treatment but still have to remove ticks to show that the best treatment is awareness and checking people and dogs.

Are we going to ban walkers from country pubs and cafes because they're just as likely to be bringing ticks in ? Or campers ? Do all these posters treat their own gardens to eliminate ticks ?

The best preventative is to check physically and to be alert to the possibility of Lyme if bitten.

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Completely agree!!!

Original poster
Dogowne91 · 04/06/2025 16:19

OVienna · 04/06/2025 16:16

Wait a second - your friends asked if your dog was treated for ticks, you were honest and said no, they had the dog to stay anyway and now they're pissed?

They asked after finding them so whilst we were away

OP posts:
Blistory · 04/06/2025 16:20

The fact is that even if the OP had treated her dog, it wouldn't have prevented ticks being brought in by her dog, their dogs, or on their own bodies. The only thing to prevent that would be topical treatment and a physical check afterwards.

It was open to the OP's friends to take both those measures.

Original poster
Dogowne91 · 04/06/2025 16:21

Lighteningstrikes · 04/06/2025 14:53

I’m very surprised (particularly living where you do), that you do not take ticks a lot more seriously.

I’m guessing you’ve never known someone with Lyme disease and how serious it is?

You really need to research it.

Upon doing further research I will take it more seriously for sure

OP posts:
CustardySergeant · 04/06/2025 16:21

OVienna · 04/06/2025 16:16

Wait a second - your friends asked if your dog was treated for ticks, you were honest and said no, they had the dog to stay anyway and now they're pissed?

It says in the first post "they had asked if our dog was on tick prevention whilst we were away" so it was too late by then, they already had the dog.

OVienna · 04/06/2025 16:22

Dogowne91 · 04/06/2025 16:19

They asked after finding them so whilst we were away

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Okay. I do think they then have a basis to be upset - sorry.

OVienna · 04/06/2025 16:23

CustardySergeant · 04/06/2025 16:21

It says in the first post "they had asked if our dog was on tick prevention whilst we were away" so it was too late by then, they already had the dog.

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I read that too quickly

Original poster
Dogowne91 · 04/06/2025 16:24

lljkk · 04/06/2025 12:25

Hey OP, sorry you're getting a hard time. Some people aren't ever bitten by their animal's fleas & then it's really easy to skip parasite treatment. I am fairly sure that Most people do not give their pet cats or dogs any anti-parasite meds.

Ignore the flaming here: what matters is you want to try to repair relationship with your friends. Try to think of some way to make amends & apologise profusely to let them know you realise your mistake and how much you value the relationship & want to do something to show how sorry you are. Obviously do anti-parasite treatment if you ever ask someone to receive your pet into their home again.

Thank you, appreciate this

OP posts:
category12 · 04/06/2025 16:25

Have you done a flea check on your dog, OP?