Friends Upset Over Tick Situation – Are we really in the wrong?

[Dogowne91]

Hi everyone,
Would really appreciate some honest opinions on something that’s left us a bit stunned.
We just got back from a 2-week holiday and had left our dog with close friends who kindly offered to look after him. They also have two dogs, and they spent loads of time together — running around the house and their big garden, playing, sleeping near each other, out on plenty of walks, the usual.
When we picked up our dog, they told us they’d found 8 ticks in a matter of days — some on our dog and some around the house (sofa, bed, floor) which explained why they had asked if our dog was on tick prevention whilst we were away. We were honest from the beginning: he wasn’t and hasn't been for at least a couple of years. Totally our fault, just hadn’t gotten around to it. We also discovered they have treated him straight away once they discovered he wasn't up to date with it (they spoke with a vet first).
They’re clearly really upset and, honestly, we’re a bit taken aback. We obviously didn’t mean to put anyone at risk and feel bad — but also, we live in the Devon countryside where dogs are running through fields and long grass all the time and if we find ticks, we normally simply remove them from him. Ticks are kind of unavoidable here and the likelihood of Lyme disease is not that bad.
We’re now wondering… did we seriously mess up? Should we have flagged this before leaving him with them? We never thought it would cause this kind of fallout.
Would really appreciate some honest thoughts. Is this as big a deal as they are making it seem?

Nothing is guaranteed but you absolutely can minimise the risk. I know from experience that the Scalibor collars do drastically reduce attachment (and I live in a tick and Lyme hotspot) I believe that the Seresto collars do too but have never used them. I agree that dogs picking up the occasional tick is pretty well unavoidable, but not making sure that your dog is treated "because you didn't get round to it" especially when someone else is kindly taking care of your dog in their own home and then thinking that they are being unreasonable because the dog brought MULTIPLE ticks into their home, well that's pretty unforgivable.

we live in the Devon countryside where dogs are running through fields and long grass all the time and if we find ticks, we normally simply remove them from him. Ticks are kind of unavoidable here and the likelihood of Lyme disease is not that bad.

This is the problem OP, it's not necessarily the fact that they found the ticks, it's your complete 'meh' attitude to it. I don't treat my dogs for ticks or fleas either unless they need it, but out of our three dogs, I've only ever found 3 ticks in ten years, if I was routinely finding ticks or lived in a tick heavy area then I'd be routinely treating them to protect them and to protect people that they then come into contact with.

The fact that you don't take this seriously enough and are inferring that they take it too seriously is why they are fuming with you, you put their dogs and them at risk and you don't even seem the slightest bit bothered!

Id of been furious with you.

hey! not the dogs' fault!

I may be biased but i was bitten by a tick in someone's house whilst 30 weeks pregnant. They hadn't treated their dog who regularly walked in long grass. Due to my pregnancy I couldn't have treatment and had to wait until after delivery to see whether baby had been impacted by potential lyme infection in utero. Thankfully my child is well and so am I however the flippant lack of awareness of the impact upon your friends home, pets and themselves seems unfair. Hopefully it's lesson learnt and you can all move forward happily.

I wouldn't call you biased at all.

So irresponsible, your poor dog.

I’m very surprised (particularly living where you do), that you do not take ticks a lot more seriously.

I’m guessing you’ve never known someone with Lyme disease and how serious it is?

You really need to research it.

Is this a reverse? Your attitude and responses seem really lax! Of course you were unreasonable, you should send flowers or something asap to say sorry to try to keep your friendship . You should worm, flea and tick regularly . i dont actually flea and tick during winter on advice from the vets but start every March through to November given them a rest in December to February. Sort yourselves out before something bad happens.

Just a fyi, to pps obsessively cleaning their houses, or thinking they caught a tick in a house, incredibly unlikely. They don't survive indoors for any length of time, it's too dry and doesn't have the right conditions for latching on.

Also only a very small proportion of ticks carry Lyme, and they need to be attached for a couple of days, and most people don't get a bullseye rash.

They aren't just in long grass in fields, they are in woods, in trees and shrubs, in parks and gardens. They love moisture and humidity.

Be aware, take sensible precautions, but don't get anxious. Check when you shower and have a tick tool to hand.

For my pet sitter worm, flea and tick treatment is mandatory to avoid the situation you have ended up in OP. It’s a personal choice as to whether you want to do worm/ flea/ tick pets but if someone else is looking after them then you need to.

i think you need to reimburse your friend the tick treatment for your dog, offer to pay for any additional costs for her dogs and then cover any treatments they’ve had to get for their home/ any additional cleaning costs/ sprays etc . And then something as an apology for the inconvenience of them having to deep clean their house - that would have taken them hours!!

Honestly, 8 ticks in one go make me think he’d had caught them when with the friend if you never have more than 1 or 2 random ones at home.

Please look into rehoming your dog. You clearly aren’t caring for them. If you won’t treat your dog for fleas, worms and ticks then you shouldn’t have one.

unlikely yes provided proper precautions are taken but incredibly unlikely? not if you are as lax as the OP seems to be.

If it helps, I have late stage Lyme Disease and anaplasmosis (another tick borne disease.)
It took four years to be diagnosed after I had presented at A&E with what were probably first stage symptoms, then collapsed in the street with what was probably second stage symptoms which looked like a stroke, (one sided face droop etc)
Finally, after four different one hour flights back and forth to different hospitals in Marseille and several overnight stays there in hotels (at great expense)
MRIs
EEGs
ECGs
Lumbar puncture
Very painful nerve conduction tests which involve having two inch long electrically charged needles being stuck in your arms and legs...

I was given a one month course of Doxycycline last September. You can't go out in the sun on Doxy (bit of a bummer in Southern Europe) because you burn within minutes, it gives you nausea and upset stomach, can cause gastric damage (I've had a perforated duodenal ulcer in the past so that's not good) and on and on.

The month's course did nothing. The specialist said to wait six months for any effect and I may have a paradoxical reaction (feeling even worse) Which I did/am. Some people have to stay on Doxy for months or years. I am currently saving up for my nest trip to a specialist in Marseille.

My GP could just give me the antibiotics himself, which are the only treatment, very cheap and available in any high street chemist or the specialist could give me a Zoom appointment or similar but that's too easy and cost effective...so I have to get on the plane...

I have neurological symptoms that are numbness, pins and needles and electric shock pains in my arms and legs. I can only wear a very limited range of fugly shoes, can't walk far and stagger like a zombie when I do.

My knees and ankles are frequently swollen and have arthritis like pain. My fingers have nodules on their joints, are bent out of shape and again, have arthritis like pain.

I am extremely fatigued and obviously all this affects my ability to work and my quality of life.

Thankfully, so far I don't think I have Alpha Gal which makes you allergic to red meat and I don't seem to have any cardiac symptoms.

I used to work in a manual job. I am unqualified for anything else.

Nobody in your friends or family will generally have any idea what Lyme is.

Apart from all that, it's no big deal.

Quite possibly he did pick them up while being looked after....some places do seem to have a bigger tick population than others. That doesn't excuse the OP's failure or their seeming lack of concern for their friends.

I think the level of drama you mention is caused by:

'They said they have already cleaned the house fully, checked everything, passed lint rollers everywhere and washed everything in high temperatures. They even moved furniture to check all corners etc and deep clean there too so they went quite extra on it already, don't think they'd need a cleaning service too'

You are careless and they had to take their time to do this. They can never get the time back. I would suspect they have discovered you may have different values to them and can cause them issues. So I am sure in the least they will not dogsit again, or possibly do anything else.

I am so sorry to hear your story, in the UK its not uncommon. Because I live in a tick and Lyme hotspot, local GP's and hospitals are pretty well clued up but it has been (and is) a problem for holiday makers who may not be Lyme aware themselves, get bitten, go home to more urban places and present with the "flu like" symptoms to an urban GP who is no more Lyme aware than they are. These flok have done al lot of good work, have you contacted them for support? https://lymediseaseuk.com

I would not care less. Seriously. An overreaction IMO.

It's not just Lyme's disease either, there have been cases of TBE detected in Devon.

But if they had treated their dog, this could still have happened - tick hops on dog, doesn't bite as it's not yet hungry, is dislodged in the home and hops on you and is now hungry...

The only way you'd have avoided that is by not going to their home and as you had a choice to do that, and knew they had a dog... how is it their fault?

You also could have picked up a tick yourself simply walking through some long grass.

With respect, this is waaay over the top.

I seriously considered abandoning preventative flea/tick treatment recently, when there was the publicity around all of the excessive pesticides affecting wild birds (as a result of the growth in pet ownership and the greater likelihood of people treating their pets religiously every few months).

Luckily my vet claimed that the chemicals their practice uses aren't the ones responsible for the publicised threats. Without that reassurance, I would have winged it with tweezers and daily checks. I still will if the evidence changes.

With my previous dog, I only remembered to pick up treatment about once a year. The subscription model that so many vets use these days (with regular preventative flea/tick treatment built into the basic cost) means that I treat my current dog every three months. That business model is probably responsible for a huge (and possibly toxic) surge in the amount of pesticides sloshing around the countryside.

Because you live in Devon countryside with long grass you especially need to keep your dog up to date with tick treatment. Your poor dog can't care for himself and you knowingly are not bothering.

Thanks. I haven't contacted any UK organisations because I don't live there but I will do now. Anything's worth a shot.

The irony (if you can call it that) of Lyme and tick borne diseases is, of course, that they are most likely to affect active, outdoorsy people and/or agricultural workers/farmers - exactly the type of people who can least afford to get it.

Oh, and some people think that it's contagious from person to person. Makes you very popular.

Thanks again.