Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Pets

Join our community on the Pet forum to discuss anything related to pets.

Putting elderly dog to sleep tomorrow

42 replies

Boa33 · 03/06/2025 13:52

Looking for a hand hold really. We have made the decision to put our old dog to sleep tomorrow. He's a 15.5 year old Yorkshire terrier.
He has had numerous health problems throughout his life after we adopted him from a friend at 2 years old - joint issues, neurological issues etc. We've decided that tomorrow is the day but how do people cope with the guilt of making this decision and feeling like it might be too soon? Realistically I know it's as good a time as any but I'm really struggling.

Looking at the bigger picture, his health has been in decline over the last few years, very gradually. He has never been the most active dog but would enjoy walks, swimming, meeting other dogs, playing with his toys, spending time with us and would spend every spare moment on our laps given the chance. All this has now faded, he can't see, can't hear and his back legs are noticeably weaker over the last few weeks and months as well as just seeming tired. For a while now, he no longer has interest in sitting with us or having cuddles for more than a minute or two and would rather be in his bed. He used to be able to go anywhere with us, settle anywhere nicely and be perfect in the car but for the last few years he has found this very stressful and we no longer take him with us. He is very settled at home generally and we are able to leave him alone with no problems but then I feel guilty as with his loss of eyesight and hearing, this must feel quite lonely. He toilets inside on a semi regular basis (just to clarify, this doesn't seem to distress him at all, his house training although solid over the years, has never been top of his priority list).
BUT he still gets around, although slower and wobblier and I fear his legs completely giving out (he is on two pain medications to manage his joints) and everything turning into an emergency situation which I do not want. He still eats ok, toilets ok and potters about although quite aimlessly but this is a bare minimum surely? It would be easier in a way if there was something acutely wrong where I was sure he only had a few weeks left for example.

I feel like he would probably bumble along like this ok for a few more weeks, maybe a few more months but with the risk of deteriorating further (also has the beginning of kidney disease). But what would he get out of this? He wouldn't know any difference between now and 4 months time say. I feel it would be for our benefit which isn't fair.

I love this dog with my entire heart and I'm absolutely devastated at making this decision and the thought that this is his last night, last dinner, last bedtime etc and tomorrow he won't be here with us anymore. I just keep burying my face in his soft fur and telling him how sorry I am. Please reassure me that we're doing the right thing. The vet will be coming to our house and then I will take him to a private crematorium.

OP posts:
longtompot · 04/06/2025 20:14

I'm so sorry for your loss @Boa33 There is no pain like it as I have only recently realised💐

I would suggest you allow yourself time. Time to just sit and cry. So many nights I cried myself to sleep, and then again when I woke up. Time to put away your dogs bowls, then bed etc. not all at once, just as and when.

I said goodbye to my dog on 11th April this year and I have just washed her living room bed ready to be put away for any future dog. Her toys that were in her bed when she went are still sat in the corner but they will probably be put away this weekend.

I did other things to make sure I didn't get surprise emails, so let her vets know (we had a different vet come to the house to pts) I let the chip company know, I let the online pet medication site or at least removed her info from there. There was probably more, but I didn't want reminder emails of dog is due their medication now etc

bigbreakfastclub · 04/06/2025 20:16

We have lost two dogs this year both pets of my married sons and their families.
we looked after one regularly during holidays and we all really miss him. The kids and the adults. It’s heartbreaking.
so difficult but don’t allow him to suffer it just gets harder to bear.
sending you lots of love and strength and keep the happy memories in your heart ❤️

Onwardsandupwards2025 · 04/06/2025 20:19

Sorry for your loss OP 💔 take time to grieve and remember all the wonderful times he had with you. You gave him a lovely life and you have done the kindest thing, giving him a peaceful and dignified passing away.

Be kind to yourself, this was the last kind thing you could do for your precious boy. It’s so hard when our fur babies leave us, at first I couldn’t look at the pictures and videos but now I look at them and smile with all the happy memories

realist123 · 04/06/2025 20:37

So sorry for your loss OP. I sympathise as there is no other grief like it. We had to pts our lovely 15 year old dog in 2021 under similar circumstances and knowing his time was coming was hard as he declined for some time and we struggled with knowing when was the best time.

When he started having seizures though we knew it was his time and we made an appointment with the vet for the following morning to pts. That last night and morning was horrible, and I think all I did was cry for a week. It was literally like losing a best friend and we still think back on him. I saw a dog out in the park today who was the image of our old boy and got choked up thinking about it.

It does get easier though with time and after a while you will be able to look back on the fond memories. After a couple of weeks the raw pain started to subside. Just give yourself time to grieve , the first night without them is the hardest for sure. You will be able to smile one day when you think of them but for now take it one day at a time.

Oldtigernidster · 04/06/2025 20:38

You have done the kindest thing for your boy. It’s the last act we can do after giving them their best lives. Grieve but don’t reproach yourself. He is at peace, free from pain, sadly the suffering is now yours to bear but you will get there. Huge hugs. 💔

Boa33 · 04/06/2025 20:51

Thank you so much for all your kind words, they're so appreciated. Hopefully time will be a healer eventually and we'll just have to go through the pain. I sat outside with him in the last of the sunshine tonight and it was very peaceful and I was able to tell him what a good friend he'd been and thank for him for the years of happiness he'd given us. I was his best person in the world and I know he loved me and that brings me some comfort too that I could do what he needed me to do before he declined into suffering. Thanks for everyone's support over the last 2 days.

OP posts:
bigbreakfastclub · 04/06/2025 23:05

Boa33 · 04/06/2025 20:51

Thank you so much for all your kind words, they're so appreciated. Hopefully time will be a healer eventually and we'll just have to go through the pain. I sat outside with him in the last of the sunshine tonight and it was very peaceful and I was able to tell him what a good friend he'd been and thank for him for the years of happiness he'd given us. I was his best person in the world and I know he loved me and that brings me some comfort too that I could do what he needed me to do before he declined into suffering. Thanks for everyone's support over the last 2 days.

❤️❤️

Houndmumma · 04/06/2025 23:24

Oh so sorry you’re facing this. We’ve had to make this decision twice in the last couple of years with our elderly two. Honestly, doing this for them when they’re in pain & discomfort or slowly slipping away with an illness is the kindest thing you can do. But gosh it’s hard! Thinking of you xx

uncomfortablydumb60 · 04/06/2025 23:30

Oh I'm so sorry, I can feel your pain.
It's his time. You've given him a wonderful life full of love, but he's exhausted and his senses are going so he can't experience the joys he once did
Letting him go is the kindest, final gift you can give him
Better a week too soon than a day too late
Stay with him, tell him he's your best boy and you love him so much, but he's exhausted can go and rest now
I am truly sorry

bigbreakfastclub · 05/06/2025 08:43

Wishing you well today ❤️

hellohellooo · 05/06/2025 08:46

Boa33 · 04/06/2025 19:31

So the vet came to our house earlier today and our boy has now gone. It was very peaceful and exactly how I wanted him to go, in my arms knowing he was loved and I'm happy that we were able to do that for him. We'll keep him at home tonight and take him to be cremated tomorrow. We're completely and utterly heartbroken and just realising how hard this process of grief is going to be. I feel horribly guilty and selfishly would give absolutely anything to have one more week with him. However, the build up to today once we'd made the decision was absolutely excruciating and it is somewhat a relief that we don't have to go through that anymore. His lack of presence has already left a massive hole and the house feels horrible. Little things like realising I haven't had to open the back door for the whole afternoon keep breaking me. Any advice for trying to practice forgiveness and deal with this side of it is gratefully received. I hope all of you going through similar are doing ok.

Lucky dog to have such lovely owners and to have had a wonderful life

I was in your position three weeks ago

Still have so very sad days. But I am so glad we did so much for him over 16 years

He was everything to us

Go gentle on yourself

So so sorry xxxx

BodenCardiganNot · 05/06/2025 08:48

We are coming to this stage with our doggie. It's so hard.
However I have decided that when she is gone I am going to foster senior dogs - our local rescue always has older dogs whose owners have died and who have no family to take care of them.

REP22 · 05/06/2025 09:43

My very deepest condolences @Boa33 - I know the pain you are going through. Grief does shift and morph - you will always miss him, in different ways, but it becomes possible to exist beside it. The Blue Cross has a pet bereavement service - Blue Cross Pet Loss Support | Pet Loss. Other support services are also available elsewhere. Take the time to grieve at your own pace. There is no time set for when it "should" be "better".

You did him proud. You gave him hope and a future when you took him in. You gave him a rich and loving, full life. You released him from his suffering and gave him peace and dignity in his passing.

Bless you and your family. 💐💐x

Glitchymn1 · 05/06/2025 10:40

I’m so sorry OP. Sending love to all of you that have lost pets.

You may get a sympathy card from your vet with prints of nose and paws. I wasn’t expecting mine. Let yourself grieve, time will help.

I have framed photos and bought a special plant and pot and a plaque for my boy. I’ll never forget him. Three month on and new pet, but the pain is still there.

bigbreakfastclub · 05/06/2025 13:05

My grandsons and their mum and dad spent the night before taking their dog on a special walk.
on the day he was put to sleep they asked the vet to take them earlier than planned as the pain of watching him was excruciating.
they got a paw print his ashes and a memory card. They just remember they had him for many years and have so many photos with him so his memory lives on.
sending you a big 🤗 take care.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 05/06/2025 13:23

💐 🌹 🫂 xx

FranticFrankie · 05/06/2025 13:33

So sorry for your loss- dogs know when they are loved
It's very hard to be without a beloved dog and I hope you've got support
And as I have read on these boards many times, better a day early than a day late
🌹🌹

New posts on this thread. Refresh page