Looking for a hand hold really. We have made the decision to put our old dog to sleep tomorrow. He's a 15.5 year old Yorkshire terrier.
He has had numerous health problems throughout his life after we adopted him from a friend at 2 years old - joint issues, neurological issues etc. We've decided that tomorrow is the day but how do people cope with the guilt of making this decision and feeling like it might be too soon? Realistically I know it's as good a time as any but I'm really struggling.
Looking at the bigger picture, his health has been in decline over the last few years, very gradually. He has never been the most active dog but would enjoy walks, swimming, meeting other dogs, playing with his toys, spending time with us and would spend every spare moment on our laps given the chance. All this has now faded, he can't see, can't hear and his back legs are noticeably weaker over the last few weeks and months as well as just seeming tired. For a while now, he no longer has interest in sitting with us or having cuddles for more than a minute or two and would rather be in his bed. He used to be able to go anywhere with us, settle anywhere nicely and be perfect in the car but for the last few years he has found this very stressful and we no longer take him with us. He is very settled at home generally and we are able to leave him alone with no problems but then I feel guilty as with his loss of eyesight and hearing, this must feel quite lonely. He toilets inside on a semi regular basis (just to clarify, this doesn't seem to distress him at all, his house training although solid over the years, has never been top of his priority list).
BUT he still gets around, although slower and wobblier and I fear his legs completely giving out (he is on two pain medications to manage his joints) and everything turning into an emergency situation which I do not want. He still eats ok, toilets ok and potters about although quite aimlessly but this is a bare minimum surely? It would be easier in a way if there was something acutely wrong where I was sure he only had a few weeks left for example.
I feel like he would probably bumble along like this ok for a few more weeks, maybe a few more months but with the risk of deteriorating further (also has the beginning of kidney disease). But what would he get out of this? He wouldn't know any difference between now and 4 months time say. I feel it would be for our benefit which isn't fair.
I love this dog with my entire heart and I'm absolutely devastated at making this decision and the thought that this is his last night, last dinner, last bedtime etc and tomorrow he won't be here with us anymore. I just keep burying my face in his soft fur and telling him how sorry I am. Please reassure me that we're doing the right thing. The vet will be coming to our house and then I will take him to a private crematorium.