Daughter brought home puppy

[AvidDenimOP]

So my 19yr old was repeatedly told no more dogs (we have 2) however she went ahead & brought home an 8 week old pup saying it was for my birthday. Which isn’t till next month, however I had told her no, we have 2 dogs one is temperamental & 1 has slight ivdd. She didn’t discuss this & knew my feelings - she didn’t talk to step dad either just rocks up home with it. She also has a holiday in 2 weeks but she said her nan would look after it, as a family we also had holiday in a month-my in-laws look after my other dogs (my mum who would be looking after puppy won’t look after the other dogs) so is unfair to also pop in a 12 weeks puppy to them!
daughter works shifts & also has other part time work she often covers, no set routines & is out a lot. I asked for the puppy to be returned or rehomed she refused & has now gone to my mums with the puppy & is staying there. Am I unreasonable to not want this puppy or give into keeping him

No she doesn’t but I don’t think she has thought it through.
likely but not diagnosed

I didn’t handle it in the best way, initially I thought heart was in it & I love dogs maybe it was kind of her, but when you were told no on several occasions she knew she should not of brought that home I did get cross & we both argued. An I do think it was what she wanted but tried to work the situation by saying it was for me but knew full well I didn’t & don’t want a puppy.

@AvidDenimOP Yes, if she keeps the puppy he’ll have to stay at your Mum’s and your DD will have to cover his food and medical care. Make it clear that it’s not safe for the puppy in your house with your older dogs.

She’s an adult who’s made this daft decision, it’s on her to sort out.

Suspect your mum won't be saying YABU when she's on pup sitting duty and picking up turds several times a day, keeping pup entertained so it doesn't wreck her house 😅🤦‍♀️

I think you're doing the right thing to put your foot down. She's an adult who's made a big decision in the face of an express no from the homeowner and the message is very clear about not gifting pets. She can deal with the consequences. It's probably a good lesson for her.

Let her continue to stay at your mother's and they can both work through her decision. I wouldn't act angry or upset about it, just that reasonably you can't have a third dog that she's pretending is a bday gift because she wanted it.

Exactly @RickiRaccoon. She made a decision knowing that the homeowner couldn’t accommodate him. No one should “gift” pets under those circumstances.
Time for your DD to grow up.

I’d be furious with your mother. I’d struggle to forgive her.

I didn’t handle it in the best way

She's 19. She knew you did not want another dog. Just saying no is enough but you explained why, repeatedly. There is no best way if another adult refuses to listen and would rather put a sentient animal at risk. I would have ripped her a new one for that alone.

That was really irresponsible of your dd OP, god knows what sort of back street breeder/puppy farm she bought it from if they won't take it back. Your mum should be ashamed of herself too.

My adult dd's bf repeatedly brought puppies home. She absolutely refused to have anything to do with them. He rehomed them once he got bored. Absolutely disgusting.. He built a pen outside for the poor things. Once he added a new young ddog which barked. Ndn complained to their landlord.. Final straw for dd.
She took the latest one to the local cop shop and said she had just found it. He never brought any more home. A string of poor animals shipped in and out. Was a blessing when they split imo. My mh was shot never mind dd's.
Icing on the cake she took the remaining 1 ddog he had with her!!
Your dd needs a harsh lesson ime. She can stay away and see how long dgm stands cleaning up after it.... Not one penny should you help out with either..

Yanbu at all

she must have got the poor dog from a very dodgy breeder

stand your ground she has behaved entirely irresponsibly

Yanbu as she needs to know boundaries and consequences. Your mum needs to grow up and support you.

I guess she’s moving out then.

Daughter need to rehome herself and the puppy.

YANBU