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Feel so upset having my cat put down

10 replies

Healthworker · 31/05/2025 14:52

I had my 12 year old cat put to sleep yesterday and just feel terrible about the whole thing. He had been struggling the last couple of years limping and unable to go downstairs. He also vomited and poohed a lot around the house. He went to the vet for regular cheeks but they didnt find anything wrong. Last week I noticed he was looking swollen around his front legs and was breathing a but fast but I didn't think much of it. We went away for 5 days and had our regular pet sitter. She said she didn't see him when she visited but this isn't unusual as he also used to go off to the neighbours to get food! When we came back I found him in the garden really struggling to breath and with s swollen tummy. We rushed him to the emergency vet who drained fluid from his heart and lungs which made him feel better but he still couldn't cope without oxygen. They ran tests and said it was most likely cancer and they could treat him but most likely the fluid in his lungs would return quickly and we would have to bring him back in to be drained again. I made the decision to put him to sleep but feel terrible u made the wrong decision. I also feel.terrible I didn't notice how unwell he was before we went away and that he suffered alone for 5 days. I had noticed he wasn't eating but thought it was because our elderly neighbour was feeding him. I can't stop crying.

OP posts:
bungobungobungo · 31/05/2025 15:01

You did absolutely everything you could have done for your pet. It’s very hard I know - went through it myself a few weeks ago and still look for her and find it difficult even going in ‘her’ room. You couldn’t have known she was so ill but sounds as if she hadn’t been 100% well in a long time. You need to just grieve and you’ll find it gets a bit easier to bear. x

bungobungobungo · 31/05/2025 22:26

Please share this on ‘The Litter Tray’ section, as many others have gone through similar. x

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 31/05/2025 22:48

Please don't cry as you have obviously made the right decision.

I can understand how imagining him suffering alone might be haunting you, but you are ascribing very human thoughts to a cat. We don't know how he felt while you were away. When you came home, you found him and soothed him, and that good state would replace the memory of any earlier, negative ones, even assuming they happened.

Iloveanicegarden · 31/05/2025 23:02

I understand completely how you feel. We had two littermates for over ten years. We had to have the boy PTS over a year ago, then his sister about 2 months ago. We still imagine them playing in the garden, sitting in front of the fire, playing with a stuffed rat toy that is now threadbare. Even the cat flap makes that little beep as of responding to their microchips. I miss them so much. It took years before I could think of our first cat without welling up. Remember the good times and that there are paw prints on your heart that will last forever.

caringcarer · 31/05/2025 23:07

You made the best decision for your cat. Cats know when they are loved and adored and your cat will have known this everyday of its life. Even when you were on holiday your cat hung on to see you again. You did your best by your cat. You will feel upset cat is gone but don't ever feel guilty because your cat will have known it was loved.

imfae · 01/06/2025 05:12

I am so sorry for your loss . It is heartbreaking when we have to let them go . It sounds like you did everything you could and ultimately did the very best for him in the end, by easing his suffering .

Bear in mind that cats like other animals will take themselves away when they are suffering , so even if you had been at home you may not have known . They can be so independent and aren’t always able to communicate with us when they are in pain / suffering .

I also remember feeling guilty when a previous cat was ill when we came back from holiday . We thought he was more vocal because he had missed us , but it was because of health issues .
When we had to let him go , I questioned every step of what I should / shouldn’t have done .

it is natural to feel guilt. But eventually I realised what a lovely life we had given him and how pampered he had been and that did give me reassurance that we had done our best .

Take care .

Healthworker · 16/06/2025 22:28

Thank you all for your kind words xx

OP posts:
Lifeispassingby · 26/06/2025 01:02

Hi OP how are you doing? We had our sweet girl PTS tonight aged 12 and I’m struggling with it all

Healthworker · 26/06/2025 17:39

Hi. Oh no, I'm so.sorry to hear about your cat . What happened? It's so heartbreaking isn't it? The sadness I felt is definitely less acute and raw. I still have moments of feeling really upset. I still question my decision around having Milo PTS and also really wish I'd picked him up and cuddled him when the vet did the injection. I just didn't really know what to expect and felt so unprepared. It is getting easier though. Sending hug xx

OP posts:
Lifeispassingby · 12/07/2025 17:49

thank you for your kind reply- I'm sorry I haven't revisited since I posted. Tilly was such a lovely girl- the only way to describe her and the way I always addressed her lol the vet believed she had a brain tumour and any tests would probably be for our benefit not hers so that made our decision easier in a way if that makes sense. We miss her so much and still find ourselves looking for her or wondering where she is from time to time. I wish I had held her too and sat her on my lap, but DH and I were both there stroking her and holding her head so I'm grateful for that at least. I understand what you mean about being so unprepared and not really knowing what/how it would happen at the end. We have 2 elderly dogs who I now know what/how I want the end to be if possible which is something I suppose. ope you are still doing ok x

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