Rehoming cat advice

[ThisHazelSnake]

Advice on rehoming beloved pet
please don't be commenting with judgey remarks. I feel bad enough with what we have to do. It's all in our cats best interests.

We are rehoming our 8 year old indoor cat. He's not as happy as he used to be. I got him when I was young and single and had all the time in the world for him. He is extremely loving and wants my attention all day long which I can no longer provide. I barely get to give him a 10 min cuddle and play in the evenings anymore. He doesn't get to sleep in our bed, he gets moved from room to room and our house is tiny (think UK council house tiny, not USA tiny. Like smaller than a trailer). He's Indoor and too old to go out so his world just seems so tiny compared to when he used to have his own room and climbing space and endless cuddles/pets and we're expecting baby no. 2 so my attention is going to be even more divided. I know non of this is relavant but I just want people to know this is a decision I have not taken lightly and in his best interest. I have a vision of him with an older couple or someone with teens getting to sit on their lap and loved on all day. And I know he'd be happier there than here. We're also moving to the States in a few years and he'll be 12 by then and I'm not sure mentally or physically he'll be able to cope with the flight, living in a hotel for a month or 2 while we look for a house. So seems sensible to do it now rather than when he's older.

Anyway, my toddler is 3 and although she does get jealous of the cat trying to get my attention all day, she loves him soooo much and will be heartbroken. I just don't know where to begin with explaining to her. I'm scared she'll think that we'll do the same to her or her dog (dog is fine, he's happy as long as he's got his bed and food) or that hes doing something wrong or she's done something wrong. I want her to understand that he needs more than me and her dad could give him 😩

Any advice on how to explain to her and how to deal with her being upset? I imagine she'll end up getting upset for years to come, her memory is insanely good.

Exactly what I'm trying to do thank you, I'm trying to figure out what he would choose if he could and I think it's blatentnly obvious. I'd be stupid and irresponsible if i just rehomed him to another family with kids but I'm taking the steps with the rescue to make sure he goes to a child free home.

Thank you that really helps! You are exactly what I'm looking for my cat, I just have this image of him being doted on and spoiled, having the run of the house and getting to finally sleep in someone's bed again! I think the physical move for him and a new environment will be stressful but hes so loving with all adults I know he'll love his new owners instantly. He had to stay with my dad for 6 months during covid when I was between houses and he was so content there, I wish my dad could take him again but he can't but I know whoever gets him as long as they're kind cat people he's going to be so happy and relaxed for the next X amount of years

You’re prioritising the cat’s wellbeing & I agree, I’m personally only focused on how the cat would feel. My fosters were with me for between 2 months & 8 months - they were all happy & settled living with me & they’re all happy in their new homes.

Even if it takes ages before he gets rehomed, and it might well do, he’s not going to know he’s waiting. He’ll be happy & comfortable.

This.

I agree with this. If you do re home your cat, you are still going to need to change something in your life to have time for another baby if you’re already struggling for time now.

We had 2 cats when our children were babies and toddlers and it was hard at times but I’m glad we made it work as our children and cats adored each other as they got older. My children love animals so I don’t think they would have forgiven me if they knew I rehomed our cats. I think just be honest with your daughter in a child appropriate way if you do re home. It’s sad though.

Also, if you do use a rescue, be very picky and read reviews. We have a cat that was previously a rescue having been given up to them by someone in a similar situation to you. Before us, the rescue had irresponsibly homed him with someone that had a cat that didn’t like other cats (idiot owner as well as irresponsible rescue). Inevitably it didn’t work out and he’s with us now. He was traumatised from it all though and it has taken him ages to settle in despite his original owners reporting he loved people etc. Being passed from home to home can cause a huge amount of stress for them.

Where I foster they do direct rehomes so they stay with you until they find a suitable home. I would be cautious about their he’ll probably only be here for a month. My last foster I had for 5 months and I have ended up keeping him as he’s a babe but only had 2 enquires in 5months (around 3 years old and a black cat) the one before I had her for about 2-3 months before she found a home. Some of the older ones in their care have been on for a good 6months they just don’t go as quick as the kittens who get reserved within a day or so. Hopefully as well they aren’t a black cat as they really struggle. What your doing makes sense as your cat deserves more but I would see if there are any rescues that do direct rehomes and also summer is a slow time for rehomes as people wait till after the summer because of holidays etc