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Original poster

Grandchild on the way and worried

45 replies

Hayleywayley80 · 22/05/2025 10:42

Hello, I was looking for some advice. I have a 5 year old French bulldog and a 10 year old cocker spaniel. They are my lovely dogs and been with me through thick and thin when no one else was. My mum passing away, lockdown, marriage breakdown. Always happy to see me!
my son lives with me and his GF is pregnant. She is due October time. They will be living with me. My son is worried about the F/bulldog and she does jump around and we are a little worried about how she will react to a baby. There is no way I am re homing her as he has said a couple of times now. I really don’t know what to do. She does sometimes run at my other dog if he is getting attention but he doesn’t tell her off. If I pick up my 15 year old Ragdoll cat, she will also jump up really high.
sorry for the rant, does anyone have any experience of French bulldogs- introducing dogs to newborns. Clearly I would never trust leaving a dog with a baby and will ensure stair gates are out in place. Thank you

OP posts:

Digdongdoo · 22/05/2025 13:07

If he doesn't want to live with your dog, he can move out. But you should have trained your dog properly from the start, it's behaviour sounds appalling.

UniqueRedSquid · 22/05/2025 13:09

Why have they started a family with no plans to live independently?

The behaviour of your dogs is secondary.

Mummaonherown · 22/05/2025 13:11

My sister has a Frenchie, she lives with my mum and dad (don't get me started) she was 2 when my son was born, she was used to my 8 and 7 year old nieces, however was extremely jealous of my baby son.
If anyone held him, she would jump up - this continued until he was 3ish years of age, he's now almost 5 and she's absolutely fine with him HOWEVER I avoided my mum's house for awhile when my son was born, I was sooo nervous.
Frenchies can be extremely jealous, so I'd be wary of having a newborn and with current temperament.

If advise your son and gf to move out, it's your home.

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 22/05/2025 13:14

Shetlands · 22/05/2025 10:45

Perhaps your son and his GF could rehome themselves?

This. They are very welcome to set up a dog-free home of their own by renting or buying one.

Any reason why they have chosen not to provide a home for their child and instead expect someone else to not only offer theirs but change it as well? if that reason is financial then why the hell do they think its reasonable to have a child at this stage in life?

Dunnocantthinkofone · 22/05/2025 13:17

A home behaviour assessment of the dog by a qualified behaviourist is needed
The dog does sound badly behaved and possibly prone to attention seeking by jumping up when he/she is not the centre of attention and that is a recipe for disaster with a young child.
Whether the dog or the son/family are the ones to leave though if that’s what’s required is less straightforward. You shouldn’t be railroaded into a life and family set up you don’t want, regardless of the dog. Do you actually WANT your son/his GF and a baby living in your house? Or are they just assuming?

beAsensible1 · 22/05/2025 13:17

If they can’t afford to move out maybe they can stay at GFs parents instead.

stair gates are a good idea for the mean time if need be, but you should under no circumstances re home any of your pets.

as someone said upthread they will be gone eventually but you would be forever missing your companion.

outrageous suggestion on his part.

DeSoleil · 22/05/2025 13:22

We have a lot of dogs and they are never allowed near babies and children and have their own large room to themselves where o my I or my husband enter when we have visitors.

i don’t see how this will be manageable long term for you or even if you have the room to do so.

They absolutely should not be bro going a child into the world if they don’t even have a home of their own.

Your son needs to step up and start providing dow his family, starting with getting a place of their own.

Dont let him bully you or guilt trip you into letting g them stay and certainly don’t get rid of your dogs. The real danger here is he will get rid of them or harm them behind your back.

moose62 · 22/05/2025 13:32

Perhaps you should invest in a dog trainer who can come to the house and see the problem. I say this with or without the grandchild as the Frenchie obviously has some jealousy issues. I think you son should pay for this as dog trainers can be expensive but if it solves the Frenchie's issues it will be worth it.
If your son does not want to pay, he should be moving out!

AlorsTimeForWine · 22/05/2025 13:35

Shetlands · 22/05/2025 10:45

Perhaps your son and his GF could rehome themselves?

This.

He is ridiculous
Thousands of people have dogs and babies.

Stairgates/ doors / basniettes on stands/ buggies/ play pens
All this and more! Can keep babies at a safe distnaxe from dogs.

If he and his girlfriend are correctly supervising their child it should never be an issue.

I have 2 children and one and never had an incidents of biting/ injury

By the time they start getting active the dog is used to the baby anyway.

Jk987 · 22/05/2025 13:36

How old are your son and his gf? Unless they’re under 18 they should be moving out. Or go to the girlfriends parents house.

i don’t think you can make your home completely safe for a newborn and you should not have to rehome your animals

RawBloomers · 22/05/2025 14:56

I agree that it sounds like your home isn’t suitable and DS should be looking for somewhere else. But in any case, you should not leave a dog and small child alone together. And if you have a poorly trained dog (which is what you have described) you cannot have it in the same room as the baby unless there is an adult with the baby and fully attentive to the threat the dog poses. It doesn’t matter how well you introduce them. This is the case if they live there or just visit.

If they are going to stay you need to be looking at how you can separate the house. Put in dog gates, have dog free areas and a safe space for your dog too.

Onwardsandupwards2025 · 22/05/2025 14:59

Son and his gf need to move out!

Onwardsandupwards2025 · 22/05/2025 14:59

There’s no way I would let someone tell me to give up my pets so they could move into my house

Noshadelamp · 22/05/2025 15:05

Your f/bulldog sounds like he is resource guarding you. This is going to get worse when the baby comes, you're not going to be able to pick it up without the dog reacting.

Even if your son and his g/f lived elsewhere, it would still be a problem every time they visited

So it's best to treat the source of the problem ie the dog's behaviour.
You need to get a dog behaviourist in to help yojr dog and also advise the humans in the household.

TimeForTeaAndToast · 22/05/2025 15:10

I wouldn't put a newborn with any dog.

i would re-home the badly behaved dog, because people are more important than dogs.

Namechange1345677 · 22/05/2025 18:20

The need to move out! It's that simple.

Original poster

Hayleywayley80 · 23/05/2025 11:20

Wow. I didn’t expect to be made to feel more bad about this!
I Just wanted some advice on people that have had to introduce dogs to babies.

To paint a bigger picture. I’m 44, my mum died when I got the frenchie so yeah I didn’t train her like I did with the cocker. My marriage broke down, as he cheated, so had to move with my dogs and my then 17 year old son.
I had to relocate, find a full time job and deal with a lot. I love my son and I love my dogs.
my son is now 22 and he does pay his way. Yes, it’s not ideal situation but I’m not chucking him out or rehoming the dog(s). We had a chat last night and he is just worried, as am I, but we are going to start training and if I need to I will look at a behaviourist local to my area.
I guess I thought this was a supportive community that would offer advice on the training and not pull my situation down!!

OP posts:

Coffeeishot · 23/05/2025 11:53

Posters didn't set out to make you feel bad they could only comment on the information you gave and you said your son suggested you re home the dog, .in your own home anyway it sounds like you have been through a lot which we didn't really know .

find a 1 to 1 trainer For your Frenchie and you need to set boundaries for it, that might mean leading it in the house and as pp suggested baby gates over doorways. Good luck with everything.

Mummaonherown · 23/05/2025 19:48

Coffeeishot · 23/05/2025 11:53

find a 1 to 1 trainer For your Frenchie and you need to set boundaries for it, that might mean leading it in the house and as pp suggested baby gates over doorways. Good luck with everything.

Edited

My post was on my experience, I can see the love you have for both your son and your dog.

Get a trainer in when you can, it will be a journey but if you are both aware then you can make this work with everyone, fur and all under one roof.
Good luck

ZebraPrintt · 23/05/2025 20:53

Not a french bulldog, but I do have an American bulldog. Lovely dog but I was worried about the baby because she'd never been around babies and she is very clumsy, she's getting on a bit but still runs around like an idiot. But she's so gentle with baby, she is very careful around him and seems to know to calm down around him

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