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Original poster

Dog with extreme anxiety separation please help

29 replies

DBD1975 · 07/04/2025 23:28

We have recently taken on a rescue dog who has settled in very well. However the dog has extreme separation anxiety which we are trying to work on resolving but the issue is the dog is overly attached to me and exhibits extreme anxiety every time I leave the house even if there are other family members in the house (so the dog is not alone).
I have a hospital appointment which is over 50 miles away from where I live for treatment which is going to take all day.
I am anxious enough about the procedure but the situation with the dog adds in another layer of anxiety.
The dog will be staying at home with other family members but I know they will be tearing their hair out by the time I get home and I dread to think what state the dog will be in.
In the circumstances I am just wondering if anyone has used medication, from the vet, for calming purposes and if so what has worked.
The vet has previously prescribed gabapentin for anxiety whilst travelling in the car but this didn't work.

OP posts:
HappiestSleeping · 08/04/2025 04:33

How recent is recently? Can the other family member staying with the dog take it for a long walk for at least part of the time you are out?

Pottingup · 08/04/2025 05:35

Definitely worth talking to the vet. Mine prescribed my dog setraline for general anxiety and it does seem to be helping. This takes 4-6 weeks to take full effect though.

GildedRage · 08/04/2025 05:51

Doggy drugs

LandSharksAnonymous · 08/04/2025 06:52

If you do use drugs, you need to understand that’s a one time solution.

You need to help work on this dogs issues. How long have you had him?

BigDahliaFan · 08/04/2025 07:29

There’s a very good FB group https://m.facebook.com/groups/dogtrainingadviceandsupport/?ref=share

it’s got some great advice on SA. But it’s not a quick fix. Try and find a sympathetic good trainer, though I’d read the guides in the FB group first. There are some charlatans out there. Also talk to the vet about a sedative to see if that’ll make it worse or better for a day. You need to build up trust,

DinoLil · 08/04/2025 08:29

I could have written this! I popped out to the car yesterday and she was howling like the world was ending.

Following with interest.

I have a trainer and she says to go out with no fuss for 30 seconds, come back in with no fuss. Repeat and build up the time. It's not working yet. And I live alone, which doesn't help.

OhNoFloyd · 08/04/2025 08:35

Dogs can be prescribed Reconcile which helps with anxiety but it's not a cure-all, it just takes the edge off as it were. Our vet said they shouldn't stay on it long term and we'd have to commit to training etc before she would prescribe it for the dog.

So we're working with a dog trainer and it's long and slow... we started with desensitisation training for us just putting our shoes on, then walking towards the door and we are now up to leaving the house for 3 mins at a time... its been months to get this far but it's definitely working. He no longer loses his mind when I put my shoes on.

Original poster
DBD1975 · 08/04/2025 13:12

HappiestSleeping · 08/04/2025 04:33

How recent is recently? Can the other family member staying with the dog take it for a long walk for at least part of the time you are out?

They will both be working from home with back to back meetings so they won't be able to walk the dog for any length of time.
I do have a dog walker who will walk the dog for me but will only do so for an hour or so (the dog is small and she won't want to over exerte him.
Thank you for your reply I do appreciate it.

OP posts:
Original poster
DBD1975 · 08/04/2025 13:13

HappiestSleeping · 08/04/2025 04:33

How recent is recently? Can the other family member staying with the dog take it for a long walk for at least part of the time you are out?

Sorry meant to say we have had the dog 6 months.

OP posts:
Original poster
DBD1975 · 08/04/2025 13:14

LandSharksAnonymous · 08/04/2025 06:52

If you do use drugs, you need to understand that’s a one time solution.

You need to help work on this dogs issues. How long have you had him?

I know very reluctant to go down the medication route but I think necessary for the sake of the family.

OP posts:
Original poster
DBD1975 · 08/04/2025 13:15

LandSharksAnonymous · 08/04/2025 06:52

If you do use drugs, you need to understand that’s a one time solution.

You need to help work on this dogs issues. How long have you had him?

Sorry meant to say 6 months.
Thank you for your response.

OP posts:
Original poster
DBD1975 · 08/04/2025 13:17

BigDahliaFan · 08/04/2025 07:29

There’s a very good FB group https://m.facebook.com/groups/dogtrainingadviceandsupport/?ref=share

it’s got some great advice on SA. But it’s not a quick fix. Try and find a sympathetic good trainer, though I’d read the guides in the FB group first. There are some charlatans out there. Also talk to the vet about a sedative to see if that’ll make it worse or better for a day. You need to build up trust,

Many thanks for your helpful response.
We used a behaviourist for our previous rescue, cost £500 and she was worse than useless with some very questionable techniques.
I will check out the FB group, thank you once again.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 08/04/2025 13:21

What will the dog do?
Howl? Destroy things?
I am not sure how people with back to back calls will be able to cope with the dog

Original poster
DBD1975 · 08/04/2025 13:22

Thank you to everyone for the very helpful advice.
I am going to speak to the vet and also start working on the desensitisation with the shoes and walking to the door.
Seriously as soon as the dog sees me putting on my lippy he knows we/I am going out.
I am determined to try and sort the issue out but my hospital appointment is in a couple of weeks so will have to try the medication route for now.
Thank you all once again.

OP posts:
Twiglets1 · 08/04/2025 13:24

I have always walked my puppy so he’s tired before leaving him and he has not developed separation anxiety. A walk and lots of sniffing relaxes them, so does being left with a chew or Kong stuffed with food.

BigDahliaFan · 08/04/2025 13:47

We built up with ours (cockerpoo - known for separation anxiety) incredibly slowly. The flitting game was good - you move from room to room and eventually they realise that nothing exciting is happening and they might as well stay in their bed - well that's the theory. It doesn't really help with SA but does help with confidence.

It can take months to sort out SA - or to at least get it to a manageable level.

HappiestSleeping · 08/04/2025 14:07

DBD1975 · 08/04/2025 13:13

Sorry meant to say we have had the dog 6 months.

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Where are you located? If you are in Hampshire, I may be able to help you.

stayathomer · 08/04/2025 14:18

Our dog is not a rescue so not the same but a cocker spaniel (apparently one of the clingiest of all dogs). We left him in the kitchen for minutes at a time with nothing he could destroy, only toys quite regularly and I’d sit in the sitting room on my own. He was upset for a while then settled after a few days of it. When I came back in it was all no big deal, normal chat, hugs etc. It had to be done, it had gotten to the stage where he wasn’t sleeping enough and he’d only eat if you were standing next to them. If he was put outdoors he’d just sit at the door. He’d forgotten how to be a dog almost, he was just my shadow.

Saying that he wasn’t a rescue so I’m almost afraid to recommend this

Wolfiefan · 08/04/2025 14:38

The group dog training advice and support is brilliant. Their advice works. It’s taken my older girl from eating through a wall when I left her so I could go to the toilet to not caring if I’m there or not!!
BUT it took months and months of never leaving her at all. You literally need to let the dog follow you. Everything has to be done very slowly and at a rate your dog is comfortable with. So if putting on your lipstick causes upset then touch it and walk away again.

Original poster
DBD1975 · 08/04/2025 17:43

Twiglets1 · 08/04/2025 13:24

I have always walked my puppy so he’s tired before leaving him and he has not developed separation anxiety. A walk and lots of sniffing relaxes them, so does being left with a chew or Kong stuffed with food.

Edited

Thank you, my dog is elderly and only has a few teeth so cannot have anything to chew. When we first got him I gave him a very small chew which he swallowed whole and I was only able to save him by googling what to do and performing the human equivalent of the Heinrich manoeuvre!
I do give him a snuggle mat with hidden treats and a lick mat but he works his way through both in 5 minutes and starts barking his head off as soon as he has done so

OP posts:
Twiglets1 · 08/04/2025 17:44

DBD1975 · 08/04/2025 17:43

Thank you, my dog is elderly and only has a few teeth so cannot have anything to chew. When we first got him I gave him a very small chew which he swallowed whole and I was only able to save him by googling what to do and performing the human equivalent of the Heinrich manoeuvre!
I do give him a snuggle mat with hidden treats and a lick mat but he works his way through both in 5 minutes and starts barking his head off as soon as he has done so

Show quote history

Oh my goodness, well done on saving his life! I would have just panicked and been no use to anyone.

Original poster
DBD1975 · 08/04/2025 17:45

Hoppinggreen · 08/04/2025 13:21

What will the dog do?
Howl? Destroy things?
I am not sure how people with back to back calls will be able to cope with the dog

Barks his head off constantly and runs around the house looking for me. My husband cannot hear himself think when he is on work calls/meetings and he gets comments from whoever he is speaking with at the time to the point he has to abandon the call or the meeting.

OP posts:
Original poster
DBD1975 · 08/04/2025 17:49

Twiglets1 · 08/04/2025 17:44

Oh my goodness, well done on saving his life! I would have just panicked and been no use to anyone.

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I still have nightmares about it, we had only had him a few days.
I could feel the chew stuck in his osephaqous and managed to manoeuvre it back up.
You have to turn them on their back and push up on their ribcage. Never want to experience that again, it was horrendous x

OP posts:
Original poster
DBD1975 · 08/04/2025 17:52

BigDahliaFan · 08/04/2025 13:47

We built up with ours (cockerpoo - known for separation anxiety) incredibly slowly. The flitting game was good - you move from room to room and eventually they realise that nothing exciting is happening and they might as well stay in their bed - well that's the theory. It doesn't really help with SA but does help with confidence.

It can take months to sort out SA - or to at least get it to a manageable level.

Thank you, he is fine all the time I am in the house.
He just sleeps on his bed, I can go from room to room and up and downstairs and he isn't at all bothered, it is when I am leave the house the drama starts!

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 08/04/2025 19:25

DBD1975 · 08/04/2025 17:45

Barks his head off constantly and runs around the house looking for me. My husband cannot hear himself think when he is on work calls/meetings and he gets comments from whoever he is speaking with at the time to the point he has to abandon the call or the meeting.

Show quote history

Sounds like the plan to leave him with people who are working isn't an option though.
Hopefully medication could work as a one off