Puppy Blues

[CheryllO]

Puppy Blues is a 'thing' 🙈
I feel bad for bringing puppy, Henry home;
He barks at my autistic son, my partner feels restricted with his free time... as do I, Henry cries every moment I leave the room, my partner and I are slowly drifting apart as we keep bickering. I feel like I can't do anything right!!
I feel bad for feeling bad 🙈
Henry is getting there with toilet training but it's all about watching him like a hawk at the moment, looking for those signals.
I have a crate, which he will happily sit in if I'm in the room, but cries as soon as I leave.
I'm off work this week so can try to slowly leave him but it feels like it's not working as he just gets so distressed.
I have a tall stair-gate for the kitchen, a safe space, for if I leave Henry for longer. Henry cries for around 30 minutes but then settles.
He's not left for more than 2-3 hours and that's only happened on a couple of days. Both my partner and I were at work those days , so I had a friend pop in every 2/3 hours throughout the day. Henry did wee and poo (through stress I'm guessing) and I feel awful for putting him through that! But know that there are going to be times he needs to be left!!
I feel like I'm ruining everyone's life!
My doggy past last year and I miss him so so much. Henry is helping me heal for sure but I'm really struggling with not being able to leave him without him getting distressed!
Has anyone been through this and come out the other side, that could offer support or advice please 🙏🏻
Thank you in advance x

I wouldn't leave a puppy for 2-3 hours, even with someone popping in, until they were at least a teenager.

Your puppy is getting distressed because he is being abandoned - puppies are like toddlers, you cannot just leave them for several hours several days a week. You can with an adult dog - I do it routinely - but puppies are very different.

Leaving them just reinforces their terror and encourages separation anxiety. Remember, until he came to your house he had never been alone - he had littermates and mum. You cannot leave a puppy to 'cry it out' for thirty minutes. He's telling you he's unhappy - you need to listen to that and remedy the situation.

The puppy might be helping you heal from the loss of your dog (and I am very sorry for your loss) but you are failing your puppy as it currently stands.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but with your current set up this won't improve (the puppy being unhappy and your blues). You need to make changes to tackle both.

This is too long to leave a puppy. I highly recommend the Facebook page Dog Training and Advice. It is run by professional behaviourists and if you follow their advice you’ll have a calm dog.