I really dislike my cat - I want to get rid of her but DP won't let me.

[namechange123]

I've name changed because I feel awful for saying this but I really hate my cat. She started to irritate me after DS was born and I thought it was just because DS was demanding all my attention so I didn't have any time for her, but now nearly two year on, I still don't get any enjoyment from her.

• She wakes me up at 5am every morning whining to be let outside
• We can't leave the cat flap open all night otherwise she brings half dead animals in
• The house is constantly filthy because she walks mud in everywhere
• She sits on me in the evenings, and I used to like this but now it just makes me uncomfortable and I push her off
• She has some minor illnesses and it is expensive taking her to the vet
• She poos in my vegetable patch
• She scratches the furniture

I feel it would be fairer for her to go to a home where people appreciate her, but DP (probably quite rightly) says that we took the responsibility of owning a cat so its our responsibility to make sure we look after her. I don't know what to do - I'd feel awful giving her away (especially as DS is just getting interested in playing with her) but she makes me so annoyed. I don't think I'd do anything to hurt her, but sometimes when she's been whining at the bedroom door for an hour at some ungodly hour in he morning I am completely at the end of my tether.

She isn't last year's toy but a living, affectionate, intelligent creature who is probably completely bewildered by the treatment she is getting from someone she regarded as part of her family.

With cats you get out of them what you put into them. If you can't be bothered, then it is your responsibility to find her a better home. And never, never, never get another one.

I don't see the point of pets at all unless you can eat them when you get bored with them.
Can't you let it out somewhere and tell your DP it ran away?

So you loved your cat, but then you got your baby.

• She wakes me up at 5am every morning
• We can't leave the cat flap open all night otherwise she brings half dead animals in (ah okay, but a toddler may)
• The house is constantly filthy because she walks mud in everywhere yes yes and yes)
• She sits on me in the evenings (yes)
• She has some minor illnesses and it is a pain taking her to the doctor
• She poos in my vegetable patch maybe, or dig it up
• She scratches the furniture and worse...

No, no, no - don't even think about letting it out somewhere (naughty madamez). Having cats as pets keeps them in the kitten stage, so they aren't equipped to look after themselves in the wild, much as it may seem they are good hunters when they are bringing mouse trousers in!

Have you found anyone to give her a loving home yet, namechange?

I dont get the whole keeping them inside thing at night. We had billions of cats when I was growing up and from day one they were never allowed in at night ever and they were fine.

We have a bloody irritating cat so I do sympathise. In our case it's DP that has contemplated rehoming her but I want to keep her (even though she loves him more!)

I love her and I feel a duty to her as we rescued her in the first place. I do think there's a lot you can still try as suggested on here. With ours (her problems are scratching, waking us up, being bad-tempered and sometimes weeing on things) we have actually been given anti-anxiety meds for her but she wouldn't eat the pills, but I need to persist with that and ask the vet for something else or the medicine in another form, so I haven't given up yet. Maybe your vet could help?

It actually makes me laugh and feel really soppy just thinking about my cat and how awful she is and yet how much affection I feel for her! You might yet rediscover this a bit as your DS gets older and can relate to her more.