How on earth do I be there if she is PTS?! 💔

[Mumto42005]

My baby, my shadow, my beautiful little pug, is currently in the hospital and is not getting any better.

She was admitted last night as she hasn’t been eating, hardly drinking and has become very lethargic the last few days. They admitted her immediately and said she is very unwell.

Numerous tests and medications later and they still can’t say 100% what is wrong with her, but nothing is improving and she isn’t getting better. She is still not eating or drinking, and will only go to the toilet if we are there. She is a very complex case.

Tomorrow, they are going to try steroids, and if no improvement, the final result will be putting her to sleep. I can’t bear the thought of her not having me there with her if this happens, but how on earth can I be there with her when this happens? I’ve never had to do this before, and I am dreading it.

Additionally, my children want to be with her too. They are 14 and 12. I’m not sure this is a good idea - can anyone advise please?

No hate please.. I am devastated and heartbroken, and just wish she would get better and come home 💔

Surely they won’t put her to sleep not knowing what’s wrong with her? The vet must have some indication. I wouldn’t be agreeing to PTS unless they have good reason @Mumto42005.

The final act of kindness any animal owner can do is be there in the final moments of their dogs life in this situation imo. We’ve had to say goodbye to numerous animals over the years due to old age or illness unfortunately and it never gets any easier. I have never witnessed anything other than my pets falling asleep peacefully knowing they are loved. As for the children being present, it’s not something I would do at that age although mine did see the animals before they were cremated.

My two DDs were 14 and 12 when we had to have our beautiful dog put to sleep. They were there with her and I’m glad they were. I wouldn’t personally stop them if they want to be there. My other DD was 9, I wouldn’t have let her, and I’m glad she didn’t ask because I would have said no.

Firstly I am so very sorry about your beloved girl. I know the pain having lost so many over the years. Be guided by your vet as they know best and won’t let her suffer. Steroids can be miracle workers so pray she pulls through for you.
It’s absolutely vital that you are with her if the final act of kindness is the only way. She loves and relies on you and will need you with her. You owe her that for all of the love she has given you. I see absolutely no reason why your children should not be there if they are asking. She is a member of the family and will feel the love of you all. It’s nothing scary that will upset the children and if you deny them they might feel cheated that they could not be with her.

Saying a special prayer for your little one right now 💔

Be there! You be there by knowing she wants you there she needs her mumma at that point in time. It’s hard and heartbreaking but it is 100% not about you it is about making sure when she goes over that rainbow that she was loved, so as she sleeps you tell her how awesome she was and how much she meant to you.

I’ve done it twice - always said never again but dogs are awesome. They genuinely look so relaxed when it happens they are no longer in pain my very old Labrador got a puppy face when I put her to sleep. You have to be there you will regret it if you aren’t

I am so sorry for what you’re going through, there is nothing worse thank making that decision. Please be there for your girl. I held my lovely 19 year old cat with my DB when we were early/mid twenties. Our DPs were on holiday when she declined and we had to make the decision to PTS. It was heartbreaking but so comforting knowing that was passed peacefully and surrounded my love. I know I’d want my loved ones there for me and while it’s a difficult thing to do, it’s the final act of love and final responsibility we have to our beloved pets.
.

THE LAST BATTLE
If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this — the last battle — can’t be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don’t let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn’t want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they’ll tend.
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don’t grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We’ve been so close — we two — these years,
Don’t let your heart hold any tears.
~Unknown

@Mumto42005

This poem always appears on threads like yours , the line :

Only , stay with me till the end
is the one that stands out to me .

Your little dog will likely be sedated but she will know that you are there and this is your last gift to her .

I have had my old cat and three of my guinea-pigs euthanised (the others died at home) it is not easy but I am sure my pets appreciated me being there .
Cried snotty ugly tears after but that;s to be expected

I'm so sorry. How old is she?
I think if it comes to that you just take a deep breath and got your teeth.
You do it because you have to unfortunately.
Has your vet thought about a referral to a specialist if they are unsure about the cause of illness?

I'm so sorry that your darling dog is so ill at the moment. It is heartbreaking for all the family. Now though is the time to show that you truly are her best friend..just as she has been your shadow and yours. The hardest and most important thing we can do for our previous pets is to be there for them in their last moments. I do hope it doesn't come to this at this time ...but if it does you will find the courage and the love to be there for her. 💔

Precious pets. 💔

You go, you take your children.
Your little dog deserves to be amongst loved ones and as little stress as possible.
Be a responsible pet owner ( and it is clear that you are ).
It's a valuable life experience for your kids, and it's ok for you all to be upset.
Try to remember though, it's equally hard for the staff, and they understand how you are feeling.
Whatever you do, please don't abandon your dog and not be there - it stresses them and you will feel awful.

You tell the Vet that you are to be present, she is your dog and it is your decision.

However you need to prepare yourself that she may take a really bad turn for the worse and pass away.

Is she on a drip - are they getting fluids into her.

Surely the Vet/s have some idea what is wrong with her.

otherwise are they and you willing to have her referred elsewhere i.e. a specialist

Many vets will not allow children to be present.

and it is probably better and far less stressful for your dog that the children are not there, unless you can 100% guarantee that there will be no hysterics from either child, no weeping no wailing - no stress at all for your dog.

Same for yourself, keep the screams of disbelief / horror / upset until your dog has reached the Rainbow Bridge.

You say you haven't had this happen to you before, I am unable to write out what happens as it will distress many reading this and many of us have been through this sometimes more than once and it will be a trigger.

but it is quick and peaceful, you can stroke your dog the whole time and talk to her
it is quick, very quick.

many vets will sedate your dog first.

most Vets will allow you to spend time with her afterwards, and will probably allow your children in then.

If she is pts, you need to decide what you want to do next:
do you want to bring her home in a favourite blanket and bury her in the garden
do you want her cremated - individually or not
or do you want to find a pet cemetery and have her buried there.

You and she will be in our thoughts.

Would you like to tell us her name ? and what colour of Pug is she ?

I’m sorry your dear dog is so ill she may have to be pts.
It is sad but you are her everything and you must be there for her final moments.

So sorry for you. I actually find losing a pet harder than losing a human. Just be there, for her, and for you. When my last dog was PTS, myself, my wife and all the kids were with him, all crammed into the vet's little surgery room. The vet never objected but we weren't for giving them the option anyway. Wild horses wouldn't have kept us all from being there to comfort him, and to comfort each other. It was one of our saddest experiences but also one of our closest and most emotionally intimate as a family.

Thank you all so much for your words, and for taking the time to respond to me. It means a lot.

I definitely know I have to be there for her if it comes to this, and I wouldn’t leave her alone when she needs me the most, I just can’t get the strength I guess to think about how I am going to see her leave us forever… it breaks my heart just thinking about it.

I appreciate the advice regarding the children too - thank you all.

We are just getting ready to go and see her now to see if she will eat something / go to the toilet, and are praying that she has picked up.

She is on lots of medication to try and get her better - IV fluids, antibiotics, kidney treatment - just none of it seems to be helping or making a difference.

The vet is amazing - but as she has epilepsy, she is more complicated, plus she seems to have two or three other things that could be going on which is why this has been even mentioned as a possibility with her being so incredibly poorly at the moment.

We are hoping for a miracle today ❤️

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply… I know there is no way she can be alone, and she won’t be. I love her too much for that but was more just kind of getting it all out x

Sending sympathy. I really hope she rallies

if it does come to PTS, the vets will look after you all. I’ve had two beloved pets PTS and it was quiet and peaceful. They’ll either take her away to insert a cannula (or have already done it) then make her comfortable in a place where you can stoke her and talk to her as they administer the drug. She will quietly drift away as though she’s going to sleep. The vet will almost certainly step outside to give you time to cry and say goodbye. Hugs. It’s awful but be assured they will absolutely make iit quiet and dignified if it does come to that.

The thought of having your animal PTS is worse than the act itself.
It is very peaceful, the vet will treat you all with nothing but kindness. They will probably ask if you want some time with her once she has passed. I had my beautiful dog PTS before Christmas, they asked if I wanted his paw print in clay, which I did, they also took ink prints of his nose and paws. I can't bring myself to look at them as yet but I will when I have healed more.

Yes, it is deeply upsetting but try and make peace with yourself that it is the right thing do 😢