What do I do?

[BrickAnt]

Looking for some advice please 🙏 I got a beautiful puppy nearly 4 weeks ago, he's nearly 16 weeks, he's amazing and no issues with him but a huge change of circumstances has made me think of what's best for him and everyone longterm. My mum has been diagnosed with cancer and I'm her only support for appointments etc, I'm guessing it's a long road ahead. My partner works away for 3 weeks at a time and I also work 13 hour shifts and have a son who is 11, my mum is my childcare and I don't think she's going to be in any capable way to help care for a puppy's demands and I have nobody to watch the puppy for appointments etc. What would you do? I haven't messaged the lady i bought him from yet and I'm just broken over the whole situation.

Really? I am in the middle of cancer treatment I still have time for my dogs. You're being ridiculous

I think the issue here is that OP works long hours and was relying on her Mum to help with the puppy.
I am sorry your Mum has cancer OP and I hope she does well.
BUT daft idea to get a puppy in your circumstances even before your Mum got poorly, you don't sound lime you have a great set up for a dog in any case.
What breed is it and did you get it from a reputable breeder? If so they should take it back but if not you will have to try a Rescue

Find a dog sitter/walker like me that will help if/when needed.

Some of these replies lack complete humanity, I've just found out my mum has cancer and I'm in complete turmoil on how to support her whilst give my puppy the best possible care and to be told I'm being ridiculous is disgusting. I really hope everyone's life is black and white that feels it's okay to kick someone who was looking for guidance and maybe some advice that I can be there for everyone

Thank you, I will look and see if anyone could come and watch him at the house if needed

Sorry about your mum. Who was looking after the dog with you doing long shifts/ DP away?

OP would your Mum enjoy the company of the puppy to help take her mind off her diagnosis and treatment? That might be worth discussing before you talk to the breeder.

I think it was going to be her Mum

You shouldn't have to be told that not all cancer is the same. And training new puppy is different from liking after dogs.
If the mum was going to be looking after the puppy on the long shift days then it might just not work.

It was my mum, I'm a nurse and only do the 2/3 shifts a week and when partner is home obviously it's no issue. I didn't get a dog to hand him back, this is something I never thought would happen and looking at all possible avenues first

I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. My elderly dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer earlier this year and I attend every appointment with him. He spent a week in hospital following surgery which was also a very stressful time. Plus the worry meant I wasn’t sleeping very well at all.

Could he perhaps visit doggy day care or have a professional dog walker look after him on the days when you aren’t able to? Or ask a neighbour, friend or relative to dog sit?

Ultimately, you must do what’s in the best interest of the puppy, you and your mum 💐

See that is a bit of an issue. But as someone else said the mum might appreciate the dog’s company. If OP visiting mum at home dog can go. And get a walker/ sitter asap

Thank you, if he was an older more established dog this wouldn't even be a thought 😔

Not the point of the post, but your DS can also spend a few hours at home with the dog when not at school ?

It was going to be tricky even with your Mum helping and while you don't know how well etc your Mum will be if you will be her main support and taking her to hospital etc I think you really need to send back to the breeder.
You don't want to be sitting in hospital with your Mum waiting for an appointment thats running late and worrying your puppy has been alone too long.
Puppies are bloody hard work and you need to focus on your Mum

Try and find one by word of mouth. There are plenty of good reliable ones who would be happy to build a relationship with your pup and help out as needed. I actually prefer taking on clients who need me on an ‘ad hoc’ basis. I generally keep a house key or they use a lock box and I just magically appear when needed. I meet the dogs a good few times first so they get used to me.
Asking at your vets is a good way to find one. I get most of my referrals from them as I deliberately don’t have a page so I can keep my numbers manageable.
I have two of my lot at the min ( different clients) who are both four to five months old and it’s actually lovely because they are growing up with me in their lives. I visit them in their own homes but I also have had them to my house so they can stay over if needed. I have another one I have been looking after since he was 10weeks and again he has grown up with me so it makes life easier for all.
One of mine is similar circumstances to yours so I can be asked at quite short notice if their owner goes into hospital.
If you get that bit sorted then having the pup around might be a very good tonic for you all esp if pup is being nicely behaved.
Thinking of you

And it wasn't a "daft idea" at all to get a dog. The whole set up before this news was that he was always with someone, never alone as I work 2/3 days a week and I don't want to leave him alone so maybe don't pass judgement on that aspect. My concern is that I DONT WANT to leave him alone whilst I'm support my mum for chemotherapy/radiotherapy as I'm all the support she has.

Fair enough, I don't know your full circumstances and you couldn't have predicted your Mum being ill.
But given that you can't really leave him alone for long now and you can't predict how things will go he does really need to go back to the breeder.
A sitter/daycare will help but puppies are like having a toddler but worse in some ways and it's not something you need to deal with while also trying to help your Mum

Why did you think this was ok to post?? Zero chance you’d say this irl but it’s fine to post from behind a keyboard. Also, crazy thought but not everyone is you, you might place loyalty to dogs at a higher priority than someone else ://

Get the puppy rehomed if that’s what’s best for everyone- you don’t need to feel guilty despite what others say.

Put an advert in local post office ... a teenager who wants some pocket money and loves dogs.
Hope you and your mum get through this ... ive been on the road you are on so understand completely (though I didn't have a dog) x

Maddy70 ... callous and ignorant

I’ve never been in your situation and it must be really tough learning your mum has cancer; it’s good she has you for support.
Going forward, is the puppy crate trained? I am not suggesting puppy is crated for hours on end but it might be useful sometimes.
Do you know the treatment regime for your mum? Is she likely to have one or multiple long appointments each week?
I second a pet sitter/walker/doggy daycare. In the dogs life this is only a small part as you’re likely to have them for years and their needs will change ie less needy.
If you need to spend time at your mums home, can the dog go with you?
If you can find a way to keep the dog you might find them a comforting companion .
Any neighbours who might help? If you lived near me I’d happily pop in daily and even bring dog to my house - no charge but no insurance. I do this with family dogs.
I know dog walking has become a regulated/insured business nowadays but is there a local teenager who could pop in after school? Walk and play games with the dog for some pocket money? Might even feed your son too .

Some very idiotic replies.

OP, you're reeling from the news of your mums diagnosis. And you're clearly trying to do the best you can for everyone, including the dog.

Probably best to think practically

Is the dog toilet trained yet? This will help with daycare etc if you decide to go down that route.

Can you afford daycare, a good one can be expensive.

Is there anyone who could help out in the short term whilst you wait to find out the frequency etc of appointments, support your mum needs?

Whatever you decide, you are clearly doing it for the right reasons. Worth a chat with the breeder too just in case.

Good luck OP

We used to drive to the hospital, drop my mum off and then take the dog for a walk during chemo. When the macmillan nurses realised that the dog was in the car, they invited him to the back door and he honestly lit up the room. All the patients and nurses were so happy to have a giant airdale at their door! I don't think this needs to be the end of your dog/family relationship