As our male puppy gets older, are we likely to have problems with him and DS1

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DS1(10), for some reason is petrified of the puppy(11 weeks). He sits with his feet up ont eh chairs and screeches if the pup so much as looks at him. We think it's becasue pup is still at the jumping up wanting to play stage. Today DS1 was sitting at the talbe having breakfast, with his feet up on teh chair and pup was barking at him - in a playful not aggressive way. DS1 was almost hysterical. Then DS2 tried to get into living room, followed by pup and DS1 was behind the door holding it shut, not letting him in, then when DS2 finally got in, DS1 slammed the door shut behind him, hitting p[up on the face and causing him to yelp.

I am worried that as pup gets older we might have "alpha" male problems with pup and DS1, and hte pup will grow into the more dominant between hima nd DS1.
DS2(8) isn't bothered, eh plays with pup, picks him up etc

I'd get Ds1 actively involved in the training process - find a puppy class locally that you can go to with Ds1 - explain to Ds2 that, when he is 10 he too will be able to help to train the dog, but for now, his most important job is playing with the puppy and making sure he has lots of fun and exercise. Ds1 should definitely be further up the 'pecking' line than the dog - Ds2 probably on a parr, but working way up - dog needs to know place at the bottom of the order!

I can remember being scared of a puppy that we got - I was only 5 at the time I hasten to add - and being 'marooned' on a sunlounger as the puppy was on the grass and had such sharp teeth. Has the puppy accidently bitten DS1 so that it hurt - quite a regular occurance at this age before they get a bit more sensible. Have you asked him what the problem is (when Ds2 isn't around and neither is the dog)?

My dd (2.11) was quite nervous of our puppy when we first got him a year ago, mainly due to his sharp teeth, he didn't really bite her but did nibble, she loves him now and they are fine together. Shes the same height as our dog so we were worried about dominance issues but its be fine. We've done things like always feeding the dog after the rest of the family, dd helps feed him too sometimes. People always go through doors first. Dog not allowed on furniture or upstairs. She also helps with the training which she enjoys. Our dog has just been neutered which may help. try to do this with your puppy, is DS scared of most dogs or is it just yours? Are there fun things he can do with the pup like playing football or fetch which may make him happier, aswell as helping with the training? Ds getting hysterical is likely to excite the pup too and could make things worse. Try talking to DS and get to the root of the problem, but I'm sure as DS gets used to th pup and it gets older things will get easier.

the dog is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS at the very bottom of the pile - it goes, Alpha trainer (you probably), dh, ds1, ds2, dog... dog goes out of the house last, in the house last, eats last and you should make DS's (well all of you) kneel if on the floor playing - don't lay down and let the pup all over you as that will give the signal that dog = same as human and spark potential issues.

Get the whole family involved in training - not just socialisation but proper obedience.

My DS (age 5) can fully control my mum's Golden Retreiver - he can walk her to heel, offlead and do a recall (her at one end of field, him 200m away, call her, sit and feed a treat then make her heel with no adult intervention)... a child can train a dog - but you need a specific alpha to help too

We had exactly the same problems with DD1 when we had our puppy. She wouldn't even walk across the room without screaming if the puppy came near her. It got better for us as the puppy lost her baby teeth and we trained her that it was unacceptable to jump up etc.

As Lewisfan says - make sure the puppy knows it's position in the household (i.e. bottom) and make him sit for his dinner (after the family has eaten too).

Good luck.

Agree with LewisFan.. ..I have a (formerly)working black lab that I trained.. ...be the boss (in a nice but firm way) and NEVER let the relationship change. My dog knows exactly where he is in the pecking order and that hasn't changed with the arrival of our daughter. I'd be trying to get your children to engage more with the dog, especially around either formal training or the very least stay/sit/heel.

Your DS sounds like mine a year ago, it was very hard. he was so frightened of him, kept asking why he had come to live with us, even asked us if the dog could go for a holiday at Dogs Trust (he'd seen an advert about how they get to play there!) He would also keep his feet up at all times.

One year on, they have both relaxed around each other. I wouldn't say they are best friends like DD and the dog, but they are fond of each other. As the puppy has grown he has stopped mouthing (a bit scare for DS as to him as he didn't see it was playful, he just saw the teeth!) and jumping up quite as much. They also know each other, DS knows what the dog is likely to do, and the dog knows that he will not get masses of cuddles from ds! He enjoyed being a part of his training (we went to puppy classes as a family), loves the walks, throws him balls etc.

In short, it will get better once they get to know each other!