Kitten hates me

[Cheryllou]

Hi I've just taken on a rescue mum and her male kitten. They were strays found in a shed. I've had kittens before and they've always been friendly after a few hours but these two are extremely nervous, especially the kitten. The mum likes being stroked but the kitten hates it! He plays and comes near, but bolts and hides as soon as he sees a hand. Any advice? Oh, they've met - and hated - the dog too! It's all very stressful. As a PS we can't find a name that suits him - he is black and white long hair (adorbs!). Help?

We adopted a very nervous adult cat.

I lay on the floor with my abdomen towards him which is a non-threatening position for a cat. I did not approach him, I let him approach me. I would try to meet his eyes and blink slowly, this is like kissing for cats. I would meet his eyes but would look away first, to make me look less dominant. If I wanted to stroke him I put my hand towards him and let him come to me. It took several days for him to feel comfortable and he was a big cat, not a tiny kitten so I was much less of a threat to him.

I'm not sure if a kitten would know all the adult cat social norms though.

Instead of stroking his body maybe try rubbing the side of his face under the ears? Even cats that don't like being stroked tend to like that.

Would Oreo work as a name?

You are probably the first human he has had contact with and terrified. How long have you had them and how old is the kitten? I would keep them in one room for the moment ant just go in and sit with them. It will take time and patience.

You will need to be patient.

He's about 12 weeks and has been fostered. They think she was a housecat who got chucked out with her litter (including a 5mth old kitten from a previous litter). I will be patient I was just wondering if I'm doing anything wrong. He's loving having the stairs to run up and down all night!

Oh bless you OP. Those poor cats. You aren't doing anything wrong but I expect the dog isn't helping. Please don't think I'm suggesting rehoming the dog, heaven forbid! The kitten will learn to love you, do lots of ear stroking. It will suddenly click into place. How about Domino for a name?

I work in rescue and have alot of kitten experience. It really is time and patience . I have had kittens that have taken months to slightly warm to me . The mum may have been a house cat but this little one has had no human contact and will be scared .

Also , you will find one day they just decide that actually ..I do trust you ..and will suddenly love you .

We had a semi-feral kitten come to us at five weeks from a farm litter and we basically had to force socialisation on him. I would wrap him in a blanket and basically make him sit with me - it sounds horrible but basically you have such a short window for socialising that you really do need to force them into it.

However at 12 weeks with no previous human contact it will be much, much harder.

You are not doing anything wrong. You are showing an animal in need a home and kindness. There should be more lovely people like you in this world.

Cats like playing hard to get. They feel safe when they feel in control of the contact they have with you. When the kitten comes near, don’t do anything, just see with they do, they might come a little closer each time. Putting your hand out might be putting the kitten off for example. There’s also only a certain amount of time before a cat becomes truly stray, hissing is more common in stray cats, and they never really warm to humans, but given that you have a kitten, there might be time for them to get used to being around humans.

Try playing with something by holding the end of a string or stick. He will have the extra distance from you, but will enjoy the play, and then become more confident in your presence.

It might have experienced a lot of hardship while being stray. but once it gets familiar with you, it should settle down