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Original poster

The day The Cats Protection League called

30 replies

WileECoyote · 29/04/2008 02:51

In hinsight I can see the humour....

My cats arrived home one day from their usual jaunt with paper collars round their necks, handwritten on the collars was a message reading 'If this cat has a home, please call this number.

Duly did so.

Cats Protection lady (Upon me describing the cats and my whereabouts)
"We've had a call from one of your neighbours because your cats keep entering her house. We're concerned that they're homeless."

Me
"Right. I recently had a baby and they haven't been around as much as usual, but they still very much live here. They have free reign, come and go as they please and are both well fed and cared for, as I'm sure you saw when you collared them?"

CPL
"Well yes, but your neighbour is concerned as they keep entering her house, she thinks they must be homeless"

Me
"They're not. How are they entering her house?"

CPL
"Through the catflap"

Me
"Does she have cats of her own?"

CPL
"No"

Me
"Can she not shut the cat flap?!"

CPL
"I'll speak with her".

We end the call.

A week and a half later and the cats are still not at home quite as much as usual when I receive a call....

CPL
"Your neighbour rang to say your cats are still entering her home."

Me
"Oh"

Me
"Has neighbour locked her catflap?"

CPL
"No. She thinks the cats are homeless."

ME
"Can you let me know which neighbour this is please?"

CPL
"No"

Me
"Then what do you expect me to do?"

CPL
"I'll speak with neighbour"

Me
"Fine. Unless she shuts the catflap the chances are that the cats will continue to use her house as a second home, though I have no idea why. I have other young children and I'm surprised the baby's arrival has concerned them so much."

We end the call.

By now I'm feeling quite irritated and irked!

A week later.....

CPL
"Your neighbour has rung to say the cats are still entering her home."

Me
"She hasn't shut the catflap?"

CPL
"No. She's asked if you will shut the cats in for a week to get them out of the habit of going there."

Me
"No. If the cats are viewing her house as a second home (though I still can't think why) then a week shut in will not deter them. She
really needs to shut her cat flap! Do you have any concerns in your capacity as a CPL regarding my cats welfare?"

CPL
"Not at all."

Me
"Good. To be entirely honest I'm becoming quite tired of this and am considering reporting neighbour for harrassment....and for stealing my cats. I'll pass your number to them so you can give them her details."

CPL
"Oh. I really don't feel I should be involved in this. I'll ring neighbour"

Me
"Fine!!"

CPL calls back later on and offers me neighbours phone number.

I call neighbour.

Me
"I'm calling about my cats"

N
"They keep coming into my house."

Me
"So I've heard. I can't think why and I'm missing them, they're well fed, they aren't homeless and are loved a great deal. Please shut your cat flap."

N
"Yes, they love whiskerz."

Me
"Pardon?"

N
"I give them whiskers twice a day. Anyway, I'm moving and I can't take them so you can have them back."

They've never been particularly impressed with the dried food diet they're on at home and they're both back home full time now! What a waste of CPL time though!....and what a flippin cheek.

OP posts:

alipiggie · 29/04/2008 03:05

Sorry, but that just made me laugh out loud. Totally agree was a complete waste of CPL's time and effort. Bet your cats thought they were in Kitty Heaven mind you. LOL.

nooka · 29/04/2008 03:09

Oh the joys of Six Dinners a Day cats ! Our neighbour was a little like this, there is a white cat out and about in our area. S/he comes in and eats our cat's food on a regular basis, and then started to hang out next door. They were concerned s/he was homeless, and commented that the cat always drank milk when they put it down . I pointed out that the cat was not thin, and was very white (neglected white cats go a nasty sort of yellow I have noticed). Also that it looked like it had had a recent operation (shaved bit). But they still knocked on all the neighbour's doors to check, and wee surprised that the owners were a bit miffed at the implication their cat was neglected...

2sugarsagain · 29/04/2008 06:00

Did you get back to the CPL woman? I would be FUMING!!!!

horseshoe · 29/04/2008 11:07

LOL - and

She feeding them whiskers twice daily and then does not want them in....

Careful she might try charge you for the cat food (joke)

SeniorMelly · 29/04/2008 11:08

NotABanana · 29/04/2008 11:09

Total clot!

lovemyshoes · 29/04/2008 11:11

LOL, silly woman, no wonder they keep going back.

LilRedWG · 29/04/2008 11:11

LOL! You should call your friend at the CPL and let them know the issue is resolved as the lady is moving and won't be putting Whiskas down twice a day for them anymore!

LOL

LilRedWG · 29/04/2008 11:14

Have just re-read the, "I can't take them". Cheeky mare! ROFL

blinkingthreetimes · 29/04/2008 11:16

An old lady who lives up the road stole our much loved cat and told us .

She said he was such a lovely cat that when he came in her garden she was feeding him Tuna and alsorts of fresh titbits and of course her house was lovely and quiet and ours was noisy at the time 3 young dc and a new baby so the cat stayed with her .

2 years later she knocked on our door and asked if we would pay the vet bills as the cat had had to have an abscess removed I was shocked and told her she had a cheek but felt so bad went up later to offer her some money and the cat was there and fine plus she had a how to care for your cat after an operation leaflet - from the PDSA

cheeky cow

Hassled · 29/04/2008 11:17

And I thought my neighbours were barking . That's brilliant!

bethoo · 29/04/2008 11:17

i would have been bloody fuming!!!
did you tell her to stop feeding them and to shut the flap? but hten she may have been saving you money on cat food so more fool her!!

beautifulgirls · 29/04/2008 11:32

Are your cats microchipped?? If not I would get them done asap as it sounds to me like there is potential for a debate over ownership here if your neighbour is a barking mad as they sound. At least you can prove the identity of the cats if they have a microchip in.

I'm surprised the cats protection league were quite so dippy about it I must say. Mostly my experience with them has been pretty good. Whilst reading down your message I was thinking I was going to post to you and ask if the neighbour was feeding them...kind of obvious really and the cpl should have known better. Personally I'd be livid with both the CPL and the neighbour too. Grrrrrr!

RosaLuxembourg · 29/04/2008 11:35

One of my neighbours has a court hearing tomorrow to try to get her cat back from a catnapping ex-neighbour - he moved house and took the cat with him. He is supposed to produce the cat in court tomorrow.

Original poster

WileECoyote · 29/04/2008 12:17

After I recovered from my shock, it transpired that first one then the other of my cats had 'started to live with her'. The first being an asthetically beautiful, soft coated preener with a fabulous nature.....I dont think she was prepared for the arrival of his brother, a bagpuss of a ginger boy with a stroppy nature and foul vocabulary who has no qualms about only washing approximately once a year and who thinks pot plants are in situ specifically for him to wee in (unless sprinkled with pepper )and who regularly tears through the house in tazmanian devil style, destroying anything in his path, including people. Bless him.

I've told them both they're a disgrace and too fickle for words .

They aren't microchipped but are both known by my vet, particularly the ginger tabby!

Sorry to hear about various other stories of catnapping! A cat in court though, dear oh dear, looks like mine and I had a lucky escape.

OP posts:

FluffyMummy123 · 29/04/2008 12:18

Message withdrawn

cupcakesinthesnow · 29/04/2008 12:29

Cat napping old ladies are rife. One stole my cat when I was a child 3 times! She claimed she found the cat and thought it was homeless and so started taking it tins of tuna and feeding it on the street (our street!) every day. As it seemed hungry (well it ate the tuna as most cats would!) she decided it was homeless and took it home (half a mile away) We got the cat back after putting an ad in the local paper for a lost cat which she repsonded to. So after we went to her house and retrieved the cat, it happened again about a month later. The mad bint started feeding it again and this time got my cat to follow her home rattling a tin of tuna to entice it! After another ad in local paper old woman called and we retrieved cat again. A month or so later cat disappears again. My father calls the suspect and she says 'Yes, your cat is here. She seems to follow me home whenever I see her in your road.' Err well yeah, you are enticing her with tuna fgs and as you knw where she lives why do you not phone us? Why wait for us to put another ad in paper or phone you after you have had the cat for 4 days??? She said she always has a tin of tuna in her bag ( and a tin opener and feels bad if she doesn't feed our cat as she mieows for the food!

Eventually my cat disppeared and the old lady claimed innocence but the cat was never seen again.

youknownothingofthecrunch · 29/04/2008 12:43

Oh God, our neighbour has been an utter nightmare about our cat. He loves people and stops to talk to anyone who will admire him.

When we first moved here the lady down the road said that he was the most beautiful thing in the world, and that she had been encouraging him to go into her house.

She had clearly been feeding him too. She had two housecats of her own, who only went out into the yard. Funnily enough, one of them took exception to him moving in and they had a big fight.

Of course 2 minutes later she turns up at my door because my "Horrible and vicious" cat had turned on hers, who were "delicate and sensitive". "I still love him though." she added. I pointed out that she would have to stop encouraging him - which meant not even stroking him outside. I even offered to buy her a bloody magnetic catflap (which she refused). It went on and on and on. She would turn up or phone every five minutes - even if she'd just seen him out the window in the street "incase he was coming round".

"But I still love him".

Her final solution was that we phone her every night when he gets in, lock the catflap and then she'll let hers out! I told her that I actually have other things on my mind and that this was unworkable!

Funnily enough after a couple of weeks he got the message and stopped going into her house. It was then that the phone calls started about how he was sitting on her wall terrorising her cats and they wouldn't go into the yard anymore.

Argh! I think I was just too nice in the beginning.

Ok, got that out of my system now. Feel free to ignore the rant.

Aren't mental neighbours great?

Doodle2U · 29/04/2008 12:47

PMSL - bloody brilliant!

wannaBe · 29/04/2008 13:00

lol.

and at "is expected to produce the cat in court.".

when I was little my cat actually moved into the neighbour's house. . we had two cats as did she. but then one of her cats got run over and so did one of ours, so the two cats seemed to keep each other company, and she had a cat flap.

So when we moved abroad she just kept the cat.

JaneHH · 29/04/2008 13:03

What IS it with little old ladies and cats? Why don't they collect goldfish instead? Easy to keep, easy to feed, decorative on the mantelpiece and - they stay put

ROFL at this thread

PussinWellies · 29/04/2008 13:55

Oh god, my mum IS that mad old lady.
'That cat just keeps coming in here whatever I do -- and he's costing me the earth in tuna, you know.'

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGHH

seeker · 29/04/2008 14:24

The Cat's Protection League wouldn't let us have a cat because we had a 4.5 year old and we live on a boat. We have always had cats - and we wanted one because our last one had just died of old age at 18.

I said "So, you're telling me that you would rather a) have a rescue cat put down and b) force us to buy a non-rescue kitten, thereby encouraging people to breed even more cats rather than let us have the rescue cat to love and look after and give a good life to because I have a child under 5, and I live on a boat that has a fenced garden, a 4 foot wide ganplank and which is 4 miles from the nearest major road."

To which she said "Frankly, yes"

TheRedWorm · 29/04/2008 14:25

That's daft. I don't have a cat because of road-paranoia. If I lived on a boat I would def. want a ship's cat aboard.

SquonkTheBeerGuru · 29/04/2008 14:27

pmsl

am roffling to myself here

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