My cat scratched my toddler on the face

[Theanova]

Hi all, I need some opinions and advice.

I am heartbroken, after two years of managing within an incident, today my 8 years old grumpy cat snuck back in one more time in my bedroom where my son has been playing and scratched him on the face pretty badly! Apart from the fact that now I'm worried about infection and scarring, I am pretty certain my son is not safe around our cat and I want him rehomed but before I jump the gun since I'm upset I would like other people's opinions.
For reference, my cat is a big boy 6kg British blue and even my border collie is scared of him so he's the king of our household. I know my animals and I knew from the beginning he wouldn't bond with my son and I've taken steps to keep them apart. It was easier when my son was a baby but now that he is 2 and able to easily walk from room to a room it's more difficult to keep the bloody cat away. My son was playing in our bedroom today and the cat kept going in on the bed even though he cares not to sleep in it overnight! I chased him multiple times away, got him downstairs and even tried to block the baby gate on the stairs so he can't get in but he found a way. I had no idea he's snuck in and my son went from giggling to screaming! He was lucky he didn't get his eye by literally a millimeter! The problem is that my cat will not run away when unhappy, he will attack to get the subject of his unhappiness away! Even though my son is and has never been rough with the cat, he doesn't like touching him, he just loves watching him and giving him treats so the cat has no reason to be afraid of him or dislike him, the only people he allows to be near him is me and my husband and he will attack guests and the dog if they get close (not necessarily approaching him, just walk by!). He's healthy, he's otherwise happy cat, just nasty temperament... My son is ever so gentle and our neighbours cats love him, same with their dogs, I've made point to teach him how to treat animals well so I know it wasn't his fault and it was my cat. So I'm extremely upset. I have been hoping it won't come to this but today has made me think I cannot control the situation as much as I thought I could and I believe I should re-home my cat. I have been thinking this for a while but always kept my hope up I wouldn't need to. I know my emotions are high right now so I just need to hear other people's perspective.
P.S. I know I'm referring to my cat as 'the cat's or 'my cat' which sounds indifferent but I love that ball of furr and I've doted on him for years, always loved his company and how independent he was, he will just lay next to me, watching what I'm doing but never being needy. He got me through some hard times and I'm heartbroken and in conflict atm and I don't want my love for him to overshadow my better judgement....

Hi. I know some people say you should never rehome but I think sometimes it's necessary. When my son was born, our previously happy cat really did not like sharing the house with a baby and scratched him on his face too. He wasn't even interacting with the cat. Luckily my FIL asked to take her and I think she was much happier living in an adult-only household and we could still visit her. Do you know anyone who might want to take your cat on?

I'm literally ringing friends and family about right now but most my friends either have other cats or kids and both are a no no option 😔
And yes, rehoming him was my last resort and I've tried everything! The dog suffers the most but she knows how to run away while my son can't. He's not doing it out of aggression, he is dominant and will not stand back when he wants something. If he wants to lay where he is laying and you try to move him, he will draw blood so adult only, calm home will be best for him. Also, he's an indoor cat only too which makes it even more difficult to find someone to take care of him...

I think if your cat is actively attacking people and pets in your blouse, I would rehome. I think British blue would be easier to rehome as many people want them. Do you know you can keep in your home, until they are rehomed now? I think cat protection does this, so he would not need to go into a rescue.

You could try rehoming with someone you know. If you give him to a charity because he scratches DC it's very likely he will never get a new home. Can you build a patio in your garden with a section under cover the cat can go into when it's colder. You could bring him in the house in the evenings when your DC is in bed. Once your DC gets a bit older he too could run away from the cat or learn not to go near to it, like the dog does. Cats can live to 21 years, or so. People know this when they get them.

This is sad but you are absolutely right to think about rehoming.

Is he much of an outdoor cat? Every farm I know has loads, some turn up others rehomed.

I think an honest advert on a Facebook group where you can do a bit of a background check on the person would work. I gave various friends who take in every one who needs a home if they have the space and funds. Even special needs cases. People love animals and genuinely want to help.

I would not rehome my cat.
Just be more cautious when he's around

My cat is very temperamental, she's not a fan of people, my children know not to hassle her , they are 6 & 3 the cat is 10.
She has bitten them both - 6 year old stays well clear of the cat now and 3 year old loves the grumpy old girl

Please be very cautious about giving him to some random on FB - there are some wicked people around who use cats in dog fights and a quick check will reveal nothing.

I was not planning to. I will not give him away unless it's through a charity that deals with it. Regardless of the fact he is not safe for my child, I love him and I'll try to do right by him as much as I can

Contact the breed welfare and rescue society, there is bound to be one.

How terribly sad. Don’t get a cat again.

Hi all, thank you for taking time to reply to my post. After calling charity places, trying to find one that does direct rehoming so he won't stay in kennels and struggling to find one, I'm in the process of trying to convince some family to take him in for few years until my son is a bit bigger. If that fails, I'll just allow him to be outdoors cat during the day. He loves it in our garden and always asks to be out but I've always been very protective over him. He doesn't jump the gate and I will make a cosy and safe area for him if he wants to take respite from looking at the birds. I am hoping either option will work as I am not prepared to give him to someone who won't take care of him the way I do because he's not an affectionate cat whatsoever!

Have you tried a feliway plug in ? We have a grumpy cat who randomly attacks people including my DH but with a plug in he's a lot less physically aggressive and just sticks to growls and sniffs if he isn't happy

Could your cat be in pain? Cats hide pain very well, but he might have Arthritis or a problem with his teeth/gums

Build a screened catio so he can't kill birds.

Your son will quickly grow and be able to evade cat. Rehoming would be cruel.

Agree he needs a vet check for pain.

Indoor cats tend to be more prone to behavioural problems like this. I think some cats get bored and frustrated if they aren't able to follow their natural instincts. Your idea of letting him out during the day is a good one and it sounds as if he'll be happier that way. British Blues aren't usually very athletic so you may well find he doesn't manage to get out of your garden at all.

I agree with the suggestion of a vet check. British Blues, having short muzzles, can have their teeth very close together which increases the chance of dental decay, so your cat might have toothache which will make him grumpy.

One other idea: a cat tree in your house, so he has somewhere to sleep out of reach of your DS and dog. I know your DS is very good with the cat, but cats often feel less vulnerable sleeping in a high-up place, so having access to a cat tree might help relax him a bit.

I have cats of the same breed but fortunately they are both very gentle... but they do both go outside and I only lock the cat flap when it's dark in the evening. They weren't very impressed when our babies were born but kept a safe distance, and the garden was their refuge. The same when we introduced a new puppy last year. So I think maybe your cat is simply feeling trapped and frustrated being locked inside all the time with all the family chaos. I assume he is neutered! Also if it makes you feel any better, after my cats turned 4, they realised there wasn't much need to go roaming very far and stopped doing reckless things like climbing high trees they couldn't easily get down from! So I think your boy will most likely stay in or close to your garden anyway. Please try this before you rehome... you say the cat loves you so he will be so sad if you are suddenly not there anymore. Also my son was at times a bit rough with our cats, but he soon learned not to pull their tails etc. your cat isn't malicious, he just feels threatened and feels like he doesn't have a safe place to hide so is in permanent fight mode.

When my Ds was 4 we had to rehome our 7 year old cat and dh beloved dog aged 6. Ds has ASD and at that point was wailing and screaming all the time and it was stressing out both pets so much that the cat would go for him any chance and the dog was giving warning signs of being stressed and growling and snapping at all of us. It was heartbreaking but we needed to keep Ds safe

I second taking him for a vet check up to ensure there’s nothing awry but that said blue boys can just be grumpy gits sometimes.
Give him some high up space so he can survey all that he owns, add a couple of feliway plug ins and probably let him go have some outdoor adventures and see how he is in a few weeks. If cat and toddler haven’t actually spent much close up time together then he might need to adjust to the noises/movements of your little one now they’re a bit bigger and more mobile.
My blue was definitely a ladies cat and generally docile (if vocal), but once in a while he’d just get in a piss and take a swipe for no apparent reason (I probably failed to give his highness enough chicken off my plate or such like!) He was an absolute yowling PITA if he couldn’t get outside though.
Hope you manage to work it out as he’s gorgeous.

This sort of comment is silly.

Did you son approach him?

I'd try making him a free-roaming cat first. That might really help tire him out. I speak as a mother whose cat did attack one of my DC on the face - but she HAD approached the cat. She is an adult now and still has a small scar. We call it her cat-tat. But I don't regret keeping the cat - they learnt to keep apart after that!

What an awful thing to say!

No, my son doesn't touch him or aggravate him. As I said he likes his space and if someone simply passes by, he attacks. He's done it to the dog, to me and my partner. He is a free roaming cat and has access to the garden with choice to go out and come in whenever he pleases. He is stimulated enough, has plenty of toys and cat specific places - cat climbers and scratchers. He is very well taken care of and maybe because he was 1st one here, he is not a 'flee' cat but 'fight' cat. I cannot stop my son running around the house, I tried to keep them separate but my cat easily gets through obstacles (he can open doors too!) and usually likes laying on places that are same high as my son's face so that's what happened, he was roaming around and ended up passing by too closely to the cat and the cat just went for him as statement to keep his distance but he is a toddler and doesn't pay attention to his surroundings yet. Anyways, my son still loves him, few hours later he was happy to see the cat again as if nothing happened but I'm not sure if I can take the risks of having him around a 2 year old child that's done nothing to tease or provoke him directly. Yes, my son is loud and chatty and runs about and that's probably why the cat doesn't like him. I've tried to promote good relationship by letting my son give him his treats (tuna, chicken, salmon etc) but the cat has no attachment or positive association with him at all...

Thank you, I'm glad that one person understands that B Blue cats can be grumpy and reserved cats! And he has been since very young, he's 8 now. He's not a big climber, prefers lower spaces but regardless, he has massive climbing tree, scratchers everywhere, multiple beds and blankets. He has high end treats (salmon, tuna and chicken and all other kinds from the shop). He is regularly seen by the vets and I'm 100% there is nothing wrong with him. He is the type of cat that if we have guests he doesn't approve off, he will not burry his poop! He is just independent lone cat and anyone that goes against his mood and desires, there is hell to pay! The dog is petrified of him as he never knows if he will get a head bump or scratch on the nose so she walks 1m away from his Meowjesty! I've tried to let him out today but he insists to stay inside and keeps going into my son's room on his bed! He's just the way he is and that's just his temperament. I am trying to find a temporary solution for until my son is a little bit bigger as I'm the grand scheme of things I don't want to re-home him 😮‍💨

This is exactly why I am trying to find solution until my son is a little big bigger without having to give him away. And I'm glad someone has words of comfort that I'm not the only one finding myself in this heartbreaking situation rather than commenting I should never get a cat 😒 my cat is 8 years old (almost 9!), my dog is 4, my son turns 2 next month. I never in million years did I think my cat will not accept my children in the future and be danger for them....life just doesn't go by plan sometimes and all we can do is hope to make the best decision at the time.

I thought British B had reputations as being 50:50 as to whether they are arseholes or not.

I hope someone can take him in for you until your son is older.

My cats rarely ask to go outside once the weather cools but once they are sent out they usually wander for at least half an hour or so before coming back in. One of my girls point blank refuses, it's beneath her 🤣 she is also the pickle that can open doors.