Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pets

Join our community on the Pet forum to discuss anything related to pets.

Original poster

Feeling overwhelmed with owning a dog

20 replies

user1467114819 · 27/10/2024 18:08

we got our first family dog 7 weeks ago. He’s a beautiful pup, and such a lovely boy, but I feel so awful about the regret I feel in getting a dog. I love him to bits and he has everything he needs and more, but I feel like my life is now consumed and I have no freedom anymore. Is it normal to feel like this at first? I think life was so easy before we could just come and go as we please. It’s only me and my teenage daughter as DH works out of the country 9 months a year, but now even just going out for a few hours shopping has become impossible

OP posts:
ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 27/10/2024 18:11

Puppies are intense. They have high needs and it does take a lot of your time to attend to that.

You will settle into a comfortable routine soon.

Original poster
user1467114819 · 27/10/2024 18:15

To add: he follows me EVERYWHERE if I’m in the toilet, or in the bath or in the kitchen cooking he just sits there watching me until I go back to the living room with him

OP posts:
ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 27/10/2024 18:20

Of course he does. It’s his duty as a puppy. They are needy and clingy and now it’s the best time for you to use it and teach him recall. He wants to be with you. Call him by name, give him a f treat and fuss, and will have done the perfect foundation for training.

WYorkshireRose · 27/10/2024 18:24

In the nicest possible way OP it's sounds like you're making a rod for your own back here. He follows you around because you allow him to follow you around. Nip that in the bud now, either by shutting him in the room you want him to stay in or crating him if that's not an option. I also can't understand why you're unable to go out for a couple of hours? If you've had him for 7 weeks already then you have a puppy of almost 4 months old at least? As above, more than capable of being crated for a couple of hours and for its own sake probably should be. Young puppies need around 20 hours of uninterrupted sleep a day.

Note: I have a 16 week old puppy at the moment so appreciate your struggles, but you need to take control of the situation and implement some boundaries, not allow owning a puppy to upend your life.

Floralnomad · 27/10/2024 18:28

Don’t stop him following you about if that’s what makes him happy , a happy confident dog is what you are aiming for . He’s still a baby , once he’s a bit older things will settle down .

WiserOlderElf · 27/10/2024 18:29

Puppy blues! Happens to most of us. Our pup is 13 months now and I’m just starting to not think we’ve made a massive mistake. Hang on in there.

WYorkshireRose · 27/10/2024 18:39

Floralnomad · 27/10/2024 18:28

Don’t stop him following you about if that’s what makes him happy , a happy confident dog is what you are aiming for . He’s still a baby , once he’s a bit older things will settle down .

This isn't very good advice. A puppy that's never learned to be alone is far more likely to suffer from separation anxiety later on than one that's been introduced to the concept early, in a safe space that they've learned is their own.

Balloonhearts · 27/10/2024 18:41

Of course it's normal. Babies are Babies, regardless of species. You currently have a toddler. Luckily puppies grow up faster than human toddlers.

TomatoSandwiches · 27/10/2024 18:44

He is a pup, it's like having a newborn.

I would look into getting him in a good training program designed for his breed and yes this is all very normal but you get out what you put in so it depends on how serious and responsibile of a dog owner you are.

Raspberryripple11 · 27/10/2024 18:50

You can train him to be comfortable being left alone. Build it up really slowly (start literally at 1 minute in a different room). This is a really important thing to train, he’ll be much less likely to suffer from separation anxiety and means you don’t have to worry if you need to go out.
I think it can be quite daunting when you take on a new pet and the initial excitement wears off. He sounds very sweet though and things will be easier once he’s well trained and past the puppy stage.

Wishiwasonholiday1 · 27/10/2024 18:53

Puppies are SUCH hard work. I cried for the first few weeks when I got ours and really questioned our choice and it was exhausting.
The real game changer was getting a 1:1 trainer. We only needed 3 sessions, but having someone who really understood dogs, gave us some excellent advice and helped us so much.
We've had Jasper for 5 years now and he's such a good boy and very easy.
It will get easier but I'd definitely recommend getting professional advice and 1:1 rather than group classes. This way you can talk through your specific situation.

GentlemanJay · 27/10/2024 19:00

You showed great naivety in not thinking the dog would change things in your house.

Original poster
user1467114819 · 27/10/2024 19:01

I agree!! And I should have realised that it wouldn’t be easy.

OP posts:
BoobyDazzler · 27/10/2024 19:02

Puppies are hard work but worth it in the end.

There is definitely something to be said for helping puppies become accustomed to you being out of sight for a few moment. I wouldn’t recommend shutting him in a room but behind a stair gate while you go to the loo so he can see, the key is to not make a massive fuss of them when you return and just carry on as normal. I wouldn’t personally be comfortable leaving a 4 month old puppy alone for any length of time, though.

Devillishlooloo · 27/10/2024 19:05

Puppies are dogs and it’s completely fine to treat them like dogs. A dog is not a baby. I’d never allow my dog to follow me everywhere. She’s not allowed upstairs, she’s fine with that.

Be firm but be kind. Go gently with him and make each step easily attainable, so he doesn’t fail. Decide on your rules, don’t let the dog decide. It gets easier, our dog is two now and is very easy to have around.

NormaNormalPants · 27/10/2024 19:11

Puppies need firm boundaries to grow into happy and confident adult dogs. It’s very much start as you mean to go on with them. Is your pup crate trained? If not I’d start building that up pronto as that’ll give you the freedom of being able to pop to the shops without fearing what carnage you’ll come home to. There’s also no harm in getting them used to leaving a room and returning, rather than letting them roam free range wherever you are.

Devillishlooloo · 27/10/2024 19:16

NormaNormalPants · 27/10/2024 19:11

Puppies need firm boundaries to grow into happy and confident adult dogs. It’s very much start as you mean to go on with them. Is your pup crate trained? If not I’d start building that up pronto as that’ll give you the freedom of being able to pop to the shops without fearing what carnage you’ll come home to. There’s also no harm in getting them used to leaving a room and returning, rather than letting them roam free range wherever you are.

Good advice.

HundredAcreOwl · 28/10/2024 06:10

As pp said, puppy blues are recognised - doesn't necessarily make it any easier! There is a puppy survival thread over in 'the doghouse'; if you post there I'm sure someone will link you to the thread. Good luck! 🐶

bozzabollix · 28/10/2024 06:15

Puppy blues are very real. It’s not an easy time but they are so cute. He’s going to follow you as you are his security. I quite like that mine always follow me, makes me feel the favoured one!

it’ll get better I promise.

Traybaked · 28/10/2024 06:21

Oh I get you, we have a 16 week pup. We had a dog for a long time but the gap between them and the fact.new one is a puppy meant I forgot about how long you can leave them and now feel so constrained. But it's getting better.

Best thing is to befriend a neighbour or pay local teenager to pop in while you're out so you can go out for a few hours and not worry. If it's regular then sort out a dog walker.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page