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Original poster

Pregnant with dogs - worried

11 replies

Twenty99x · 15/08/2024 08:34

i just wanted some reassurance basically. I’m expecting a baby in beginning of April and I have 4 dogs. I have no worries about how the dogs will behave around the baby, they are well behaved, I’m more worried about my relationship changing with them. They are my first babies, and my life revolves around them so much and I’m so scared my feelings towards them will change or I won’t be able to give them any more attention. Can someone please just put my mind to rest, I’m really panicking lol

OP posts:
Nannyfannybanny · 15/08/2024 08:49

Firstly congratulations. April,such a long time away! Realistically,of course your relationship with the dogs will change, and yes, you will have less time to devote to them. A lot depends on....is there a partner, what breed of dog,are you returning to work? I always had 2 dogs,used to be 3. I had other animals, chicken,cats,rats,mice,fish. 4 DKs. Worked ft nights. Everyone kind of melded in together. Our babies were plonked in the living room when they came home from hospital,dogs in the room, I didn't make any big deal. They sleep on the bed,are spoilt. I think what you are asking though,is will you still love your dogs,as much as a baby, I would from my point say yes, people often ask,will I love my second child as much as the first,my answer again in my case was absolutely. You have a long way to go,try not to overthink it.

Killingoffmyflowersonebyone · 15/08/2024 08:49

Sorry, but I think you’re right to be worried.

If your dogs have always been your priority, that’s about to change. Four dogs is bloody hard work (I had two with a toddler and a baby, so I sympathise)!

It’s great you care about them this much, but realistically things are going to change and it’s up to you to ensure you have the support system in place to enable you to still have that relationship with them (taking them out for walks whilst baby is with DP/parents/in-laws etc). Give them one on one time, adequately exercise them, play games with them etc. It’s 100% doable but it’s so much harder without a support system.

I worked it as this;

DP had the baby when I walked the dogs in the morning. I had the baby when he walked them at lunch, we went out together with baby after dinner. On days he had work (he dropped to part time for a year) my parents were around to help. If I wasn’t up to walking them (because being frank birthing a baby is exhausting - for months after I was in pain and tired - and no one talks about how bloody tiring that is on top of the pain and everything else) then my parents took the dogs out. If I didn’t have my parents then I’d ask a friend to walk the dogs (never a dog walker as I don’t trust them tbh). But I always made sure I put aside time each day for each dog.

Baby (later toddler and baby) came first, but I wasn’t willing to risk possible jealousy with my dogs because even though I trusted them, dogs do not always take to children and I wanted to do all I could to show my dogs I still had time for them. Assuming the dogs will be fine with the baby is very naive - and I really urge you not to blindly assume they will accept a baby.

Babies are demanding and so are dogs. It’s just important that you ensure you build in ‘you’ time with your dogs regardless, because it’s when people don’t do that when things go wrong.

Caraxes · 15/08/2024 08:53

No you won't love your dogs any less if that's what you are asking, but you will love your baby more than the dogs. And that is ok!!

The practicalities will be specific to your circumstances and I'm sure you will work it out. Congratulations! x

Original poster
Twenty99x · 15/08/2024 09:14

Nannyfannybanny · 15/08/2024 08:49

Firstly congratulations. April,such a long time away! Realistically,of course your relationship with the dogs will change, and yes, you will have less time to devote to them. A lot depends on....is there a partner, what breed of dog,are you returning to work? I always had 2 dogs,used to be 3. I had other animals, chicken,cats,rats,mice,fish. 4 DKs. Worked ft nights. Everyone kind of melded in together. Our babies were plonked in the living room when they came home from hospital,dogs in the room, I didn't make any big deal. They sleep on the bed,are spoilt. I think what you are asking though,is will you still love your dogs,as much as a baby, I would from my point say yes, people often ask,will I love my second child as much as the first,my answer again in my case was absolutely. You have a long way to go,try not to overthink it.

Thank you! Luckily I have lots of support from my partner and we’ve discussed how it’s going to work in regards to walking them etc. Going out with my doggies is my down time so he understands that I will need to do this to keep me sane probably! It’s my first baby so I have no idea what to expect! We are quite adaptable people so I’m hoping everything will fall into place, I just don’t want to fail them or my baby or let anyone down xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Twenty99x · 15/08/2024 09:19

Caraxes · 15/08/2024 08:53

No you won't love your dogs any less if that's what you are asking, but you will love your baby more than the dogs. And that is ok!!

The practicalities will be specific to your circumstances and I'm sure you will work it out. Congratulations! x

Yes That’s what I’m worried about to be honest! I’ve just heard so many horror stories of people hating their animals once their baby arrives and I’m so scared that will be me haha! I can’t see that happening but we go through a lot of changes, hormones etc so who knows how I’m going to feel. But I’m hoping things will just all fall into place and we will try our hardest to live our lives as it was with our baby included. Trying to stay hopeful lol xx

OP posts:
DitchTheDodo · 15/08/2024 09:31

I only have two dogs but I worried about this so much when I was expecting DD!

In fact I remember the night we bought her home from hospital she was crying and my spaniel was sat in the kitchen looking utterly horrified at the noise and I had this massive 'What have I done!' Moment 🤣

Anyway 3 years on all is fine. I still love them to bits. They get plenty of snuggles and belly rubs on the sofa after DD has gone to bed, and she's now at the age where she can play with them and cuddle them herself so they're getting even more attention. The first year was admittedly harder, but I did lots of walking with the pram as it was the only way DD would nap, and I'd bring them with me so they had plenty of exercise which kept them pretty happy. Do you have any woodland areas where they can go off exploring and you can push the pram?

I think having 4 means they can always keep each other company when you are busy.

devildeepbluesea · 15/08/2024 09:36

My dogs were 10 when DD was born. They were my first babies and I adored them. I continued to adore them when she was born and continued to walk them, play with them, cuddle them as before. I also loved DD and she didn’t “take priority” over them at all. Dogs’ needs are pretty basic: feed, walk and love them and they’re happy. It’s just that DD came on the walks after she was born.

Original poster
Twenty99x · 15/08/2024 14:46

DitchTheDodo · 15/08/2024 09:31

I only have two dogs but I worried about this so much when I was expecting DD!

In fact I remember the night we bought her home from hospital she was crying and my spaniel was sat in the kitchen looking utterly horrified at the noise and I had this massive 'What have I done!' Moment 🤣

Anyway 3 years on all is fine. I still love them to bits. They get plenty of snuggles and belly rubs on the sofa after DD has gone to bed, and she's now at the age where she can play with them and cuddle them herself so they're getting even more attention. The first year was admittedly harder, but I did lots of walking with the pram as it was the only way DD would nap, and I'd bring them with me so they had plenty of exercise which kept them pretty happy. Do you have any woodland areas where they can go off exploring and you can push the pram?

I think having 4 means they can always keep each other company when you are busy.

Ahhh I love this, it gives me hope! Yes we are very lucky and have plenty of places we can take them to just have a run and wear themselves out. Think I’m gonna have to a do a bit of training with the pram and the dogs walking nicely with it but I suppose I have a while to get that sorted 🤣x

OP posts:
dbeuowlxb173939 · 15/08/2024 15:26

You won't love your dogs less but you definitely won't be able to give them as much attention at least for the first few months.

You have a long time to plan though. Work out places you can walk them with a pram or baby in a sling, take them on practice walks with a pram!

Also consider if you need to use a dog walker at least for the first few weeks when you have a newborn because you and DH are going to be completely exhausted.

devildeepbluesea · 16/08/2024 06:44

dbeuowlxb173939 · 15/08/2024 15:26

You won't love your dogs less but you definitely won't be able to give them as much attention at least for the first few months.

You have a long time to plan though. Work out places you can walk them with a pram or baby in a sling, take them on practice walks with a pram!

Also consider if you need to use a dog walker at least for the first few weeks when you have a newborn because you and DH are going to be completely exhausted.

I didn’t find this at all. My dogs were walked as normal.

Nannyfannybanny · 16/08/2024 07:28

devildeepbluedea,same with me. Admittedly I didn't have 4 dogs,used to have 3. Having my last baby (4th) was actually a break from work,so great to get out with the dogs. Maternity leave with the first 3 was 6 weeks after the birth paid. With last DD I had 3 months off. When she was a bit older and at school, I put 3 dog leads in one hand,a bike in the other, got onto various trails on ashdown forest,dogs ran I cycled. Looking back I don't know how I did it all! What breed of dogs do you have? We've mostly had collies, got 2 now,9 and just one. Might need a picture of yours.

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