Hi all,
I am just looking to vent here. Would welcome any support.
Me and my other half took in a GSD as we had seen that she was being rehomed. On the advert, she was labelled as loving, affectionate and also food-oriented.
We had seen her and she was super loving, and just a general all-round good girl, could do no wrong. My other half had previously had dogs, just not as big as a GSD. We had gone through the research and it seemed like it was the right way to go. He did say we should trial his family dog (cockapoo) just to see if it would work with me as I never had a dog before, but I said no and said I have thought this through.
We picked her up and it was great for the first night, then I had a mental breakdown. We live in a new build home and everything is still new. I had compromised with my other half and said she can sit on sofa etc. however, soon, the smell started to get a bit much (it was mostly from her bed). And her shedding, which we thought we could keep under control with grooming. There was hair everywhere, all over the hallway, kitchen living room. She spilled water everywhere and is a messy eater. I understand these are just doggy things, however, coming from a household that didn't ever have dogs, it was a culture shock.
My anxiety skyrocketed and I realised it's actually 'puppy blues'. I started resenting her and not showing her the love and affection she needed and had a breakdown to the point where my other half was anxious to get home from work. I couldn't eat, sleep nor practice basic hygiene, and barely had enough energy to get out of bed. I already suffer from a bit of ill mental health and I think this exacerbated it, considering it took me a long journey to get accustomed to living without family and with my other half in our new home.
I became too anxious to walk her, which she felt as dogs know these things, because she was reactive to other dogs. I was scared as well, because she was super loving at home, but then really reactive when it came to walks. She lunged and it took me and my other half to hold her back but it seemed not enough sometimes. At one point, we feared she would break through a fence that was separating us and another owner with two GSDs (who weren't barking and were super well behaved). I understand this would come with training, but it came as a shock to my system. If I had to let her out on a walk, I would pray and worry to not see another dog around so she wouldn't go crazy. We didn't know this at all and it wasn't mentioned in the advert at all - we truly believed that she was a calm, lazy and treat-loving GSD dog from everything we saw in her own home and in ours, even as she used to live with another GSD with the current owners, so we believed she was fine with other dogs. This is why we went for her, as she ticked all of our boxes.
I had gone to work on the 4th day and it was okay, came to her and she was excited and a really good well behaved dog. I gave her lots of love, however in the evening, I couldn't handle it again, so there was another breakdown and a panic attack. After a long discussion, my other half told me straight up that I was not ready to have this dog and it's not fair when I am cold to her and take out my frustration by withholding her affection. She also ran through the house with muddy paws on our carpets as our garden is not yet sorted (just soil and mud if it rains), which again, is doggy things, but had really triggered me.
Although we both loved her tremendously and she is the best dog, and through no fault of her own at all, my other half made the decision to call her previous owner and arrange for the dog to go back. They were understanding and we explained everything, even on the day we were picking her up, the owners said they will take her back if she's not a right fit, they clearly care about where she goes. We had a lengthy talk about the 'what ifs' and my other half is truly a rock for supporting me the way he does, even almost contemplating getting her back. But we knew that wouldn't be right, it was stressful enough as it was for her to grow accustomed to us and it wouldn't be fair to keep taking her back and forth.
I've been a mess, but I felt relief when she had been picked up last night. The house is quiet again, and it's just me and my other half. It was a tough lesson to learn, and it had to be done. We hope she goes to a home that will love her as much as we did, even more so. We are both still young (24, 25) and this felt like a rushed decision in hindsight, but it was a real eye opener for me and I understand what it entails to own a dog, and might consider a different breed when we are both 100% ready in a couple of years.