Am I mean and selfish for feeling like this about attending to my sisters dog

[lostittoday]

Hi
I live next door to my sister and she frequently asks me to let her dog out whenever she is at work or if she goes out.

The problem is that it is not house trained at all.
When left it poos and wees all over the hall floor.
Alot of the time when I go to let it out I walk in on puddles of wee and poo.
I can honestly say I hate attending to it these days.
Cleaning up the mess makes me heave.
I do not have a dog myself and have no desire for one at all as I would hate to have to clean this sort of mess up.

I honestly don,t see why I should have to sort out someone else's dog in this way.
However I don,t have the heart to tell her I don,t want to be doing this in case I appear really selfish.

Sometimes I wish I had never moved next door
the only reason for that was because I had always liked my sisters style of house and area and a house came up at the right time.

I realise some of you are probably dog lovers on here and would put up with anything but be honest with me if you was me would you feel as I do.

Probably every other night.
A walk around the block.

I have to attend to it tonight as they have gone out.

'Fraid I read the op and alarm bells sounded about the welfair of the dog too.
Why isn't the poor thing trained? Are its other needs being met?

I expect in that case the dog is incredibly bored, understimulated etc etc. Poor thing. I would be tempted to refuse to do it anymore so that she is forced into treating it properly or finding it another home.

She must know how bad it is.

I have lived next door for 2 years now but before that there wasn,t anyone to attend to it then.

Its in no way neglected its very well looked after.

Its just this problem with when they are out all day going to the toilet everywhere.

Not being walked every day for a decent lenght of time, not being toilet trained, not getting traingin and help for barking when left I'm afraid is all neglet..

She really isn't being fair to expect you to do this. You need to say no to her- perhaps you could be "busy" for a few days?

I would sit her down and tell her that unless she does something she should have the home rehomed to a family who will actually care and take responsibility for the dog. what kind of life is this for this poor neglected dog who obviosuly suffers from separation anxiety.
though only way to get through to her is to leave the crap in the house so it is the first thing she has to deal with, she will eventually get sick and take action. i would never expect anyone to clean up after my dog especially if i only asked them to let it out.
this frustrates me as your sister is being very irresponsible and i would really question her feelings for this dog.
angry dog owner!!!

Refuse. This is entirely unacceptable.

Train your dog or get rid of it is my attitude. People who don't train their dogs should not be allowed to have them imo!

You should certainly not do a thing for it!

Aw, poor thing sounds very neglected!

Message withdrawn

I personally think that far from being "neglected" in the usual sense of the word, perhaps the dog is being inadvertently treated in a way that is not emotionally/psychologically healthy. Lots of people treat their dogs like family members; many get away with this treatment. Sometimes these dogs are fine but can react very unpredictable if the home situation changes, e.g. if a baby comes into the house.

However, dogs are not really family members -they are pack animals. The dog may think it is the "head of the house" and when it is left shows its anger and displeasure. When the humans are home, it sounds as if it is treated with love and affection, confirming its belief that it is "top dog" and head of the house.

If it's left alone all day and only taken out for a brief walk every two days, that's neglect.

What type of dog is he?

If he is a young, active dog he should be getting around an hours exercise a day preferably longer or free-running at the weekends.

Did she ever train him when he was a puppy?
If she'd had him since he was a pup, has he always been left alone? was he socialised?

I know a dog who was left alone as a pup and never socialized. Now, he doesn't even know how to play with other dogs or even how to act, he also will pee & poo in the house if he isn't taken out often.

And please, to the person who said dog's are vile, they aren't! have you any idea how much "vile" dog's help people?! It's the idiotic owners that are vile, not the dogs that depend on them for care and guidance.

Do you take his water up during the day??? Is he fed in the morning??

Finding ways to empty his bowels will help immensly. Especially if he is a small dog because they really do not need much to fill their bladders

If she feeds him ice cubes in the morning and you give him one at lunchtime he wont dehydrate but because they are slow releasing he wont feel the inclination to wee so much.

If the dog is eating in the morning...it takes 15-30 minutes to pass through so your sister should really leave a good 1-2 hours to make sure he has relieved himself properly before she leaves.

Also if he is doing it in the hall by the front door and on your sisters bed.....it would suggest seperation anxiety. In this instances...a cage can be good...especially of you make it the dogs haven and leaving a TV on etc

I dont personally think that you should be cleaning up after your sisters dog and in doing so I think you are solving the problem. She really needs to think about why the dog is doing it.

I wouldn't do it either, i'm not an animal lover and I wouldn't be able to cope with it, kids can wee on me, puke on me but ask me to clear up dog pooh and i'll run a mile!

I have 2 dogs, and would never dream of asking anyone else to clear up their shit. This is not normal dog behaviour - my 2 are 2 and 6 months, and whilst I am usually at home during the day and let them out often there are occasional days when I have to be out all day and I can leave them for 8 hours without them crapping or weeing anywhere. She needs to train or rehome the dog, for it's sake, and by facilitating her not doing this you are not actually helping the animal

what a huge imposition!

i'm afraid i think you have to tell her. if she doesn't believe you, don't clean up for a couple of days.

Has she thought of fitting a dogflap so it has access to the garden, and leaving a few toys out there, and also getting it indoor toys such as Kongs with food in, or kibble roll balls where the food slowly falls out when played with - ones that exercise its mind a bit? She also needs to get a walker if she leaves it alone all day and is too tired when she gets in to give it a DECENT walk each day (at least half an hour off the lead in a park or wild area to run and play), and it shouldn't be left all day and then all night when they go out - dogs are bright, they need stimulation, ours is just a cavalier king charles (bred to look pretty, cuddle old ladies and play gently with kids) and she goes spare if she's not had a walk by 4 or 5 pm. If her dog is bright, it may also benefit from agility training at weekends, the focused exercise might calm it down a lot. But that takes work, - fun, but still work.

I sometimes think people don't appreciate that a dog is like a much easier child in terms of effort required. Yes, they can be left alone, and they don't need clothing and constant monitoring - but they still need company, training, stimulation and care. If they don't get it, they also turn into brats, or worse. She's lucky its misery is just crapping and not snapping, from the sounds of it.

I don't think this is a status issue in terms of the dog (though admittedly I'm generally quite sceptical of the Jan Fennell absolutist approach to that). Or at least, not only a status issue. There are some more basic things going on in terms of mental stimulation and decent training.

Oh Dear
The last thing I wanted to do was give the impression the dog is neglected.

I will try to put things into more perspective.

The dog is left alone a fair bit however its weeing and pooing is mostly confined to the hall.
So it isn,t sort of sitting walking about in its own excrement all day.
It has use of the lounge where it has its own cushion to sit on the sofa.
It has a full dish of food and water left down for the day.
There is a boxful of toys sitting at the bottom of the lounge for it to enjoy.
However I don,t think it ever bothers with them it just lies asleep on its cushion most of the time.
There is no chewing or anything like that through boredom.
It is well looked after.
They take it stright down the vets if it ever has anything wrong with it as my sister thinks the world of it.
Its me with the problem I just hate attending to it because sometimes I have a busy schedule myself and I can guarantee that when I go round to it it has pooed and wet all over the hall.
I despise cleaning it up.
I realise what people are saying on here about just going in and letting it out and I agree but I am such a mug that I also clean up after it which I hate with a passion.
I really don,t know what to do about it.
I also agree that really people should only have dogs if they are in alot but how many people are in the ideal situation to have one really.
I suspect that alot of dogs are left like this but perhaps they hold themselves I don,t know never owned a dog so no experience.

The dog sounds loved, but the lack of training would worry me. Your dsis has to take some time of work and go over the toilet training again. Really.

Also, re the box of toys - dogs (imo) will rarely get a toy out of a box and play with it on their own. They are extremely social creatures. So perhaps it sleeps on it's cushion all day because it is so bored and lonely and there is nothing better to do.

This dogs needs three things - toilet training, stimulation and company.

Please talk to your sister.

Also, if the soiling is confined to the hallway, then leave it for your sister to find. I think she needs a wakeup call!

Have only scanned the thread so forgive me if I am repeating myself.

I have an elderly dog who has some problems with weeing (thankfully not pooing) in the house when left alone. It started when her (even more elderly) companion died and is definitely down to stress.

This is what has worked for us.

• She will only wee on soft floor coverings, so we have to leave her in a room with a hard floor (e.g. utility room, which is tiled). I think this is a bitch thing, as they don't like the [sorry] 'splash-back' effect of weeing on hard surfaces. Dogs, I think, might be more inclined to wee anywhere, regardless!

• She is on various pills from the vet. One is specifically for 'bitch incontinence' and is called Incurin. However, we know that part of our dog's problem is age (she is at least 14) and the fact that she was spayed quite young (probably before she was 1 - she was picked up by a stray by Battersea, so we don't know her exact age). Not sure exactly how it works, but it's a hormone thing and the tablets she has are a form of HRT! She is also on pills for her stress symptoms (she also 'cries' when left) which are called Clomicalm, and definitely help her to be calmer. You can also get a plug-in thing (like an air-freshener) which releases calming pheromones and this might help if your sister's dog is stressed by being left.

• More exercise might also help. Despite our dog's age (and slightly wobbly legs these days) she gets walked every morning without fail. It's not a long walk (10-15 mins) but it gives her the chance to 'go' before we all go to work.

Your sister's dog doesn't need to have the run of the house (you say yourself that it doesn't run about or play with toys when left). I'd try confining it to one room with a hard floor and/or newspaper down for it to wee/poo on. You could even try a crate/indoor kennel. Most dogs (unless really ill) won't dirty their own beds, so that might solve the problem. Obviously it's not a great idea to leave the dog in a crate for a long time, but if you're going in to let it out during the day and if your sister is prepared to start walking it a bit more regularly this might solve the problem.

Just because the dog isn't chewing/scratching/howling, doesn't mean it isn't stressed. Some dogs react to stress by becoming destructive (my friend's dog ate their hall carpet, bit by bit, over a period of a few months, and then moved on to the wallpaper), others howl or bark, others wee and poo.

I think you really need to talk to your sister about this. I'm sure that you can solve it together. HTH.

Does he get any excersize?
If he is left alone during the day they should consider getting him a companion. Dog's are pack animals.

Not read all thread but got to your sister's comment of 'you don't have a dog to shove it outside all day in a kennel'
Tell her you don't have a dog to keep it locked up all bloody day in wee & poo either!

Sorry, but this dog is NOT being looked after properly. It needs to be walked at least once every day (possibly more depending on the breed) and it needs company / stimulation. restricting it's water intake is not an answer it is CRUEL! I am sure the dog is loved but that is not enough. You must encourage your sister to look after the dog properly or else rehome it. I am sorry if that sounds harsh, but if there were a thread on here about a child being left alone constantly, wetting itself and rarely being taken out, what would the response be? No the dog is not a child, but it is a living creature which can feel bored, lonely and distressed. Please do something to solve the real problem which is the poor animal not being given enough exercise and stimulation.