Would you keep the dog?

[keenrunner]

I'm going through a break up and will be moving out of current home. I have a large breed dog who is still young and excitable, needs about 10k of walking & playtime a day to really tire out. Currently live in a 4 bed detached house with good outside space. I love the dog so much and he is very attached to me rather than ex. However I am going to be moving back to parents for 6 months or so in a small 2 bed house while I save up / find a new place. My parents are not great with dogs so although they love him I think would struggle with him being there everyday if he is excitable at times. I also would be out of the house twice a week for work for a long period so would need day care. I don't really have anyone who could look after him when I need so would have to rely on day care/ dog walkers. I also think long term I'd be looking at a 2 bed flat to live in the city. I know I can work out logistics, but I'm worried that I wouldn't be able to give him the best life any more and could be selfish to keep him. My ex could potentially keep him in the current house and has a lot more help from family for walks etc but if not we would have to find him a new home. What would you do?

I think your answer is in your question - you know you can’t cope with the dog when you move.

Good luck - it sounds tough. X

Why are you moving out?

You’re moving In with your parents

he’s staying in a four bed house

That seems a bit unfair

do you have children? How long were you with him?

Did you get the dog? Or was the dog something you and ex got together?

Well if your ex can keep him and he can keep the life he currently has I’d do that. If he’s going to go to a rescue otherwise, I’d keep him.

It’s very unusual a dog needs 10k of walking every single day, I’m sure you could find another way to work his brain some days, alongside a shorter walk.

I wouldn't take the dog with you as that isn't practical by the sounds of it. However you can come back and walk the dog to help your ex out. So I would look for somewhere to live that made this manageable. You both decided to take on a large, lively dog. It's your joint responsibility to look after it going forward. Hopefully your relationship with you ex is amicable! Please don't put it in a shelter.

Let the ex keep the dog if he wants to. It seems this will be much better for you and the dog.

Everyone is assuming the OP is female!

Depends on how good the ex is with the dog though? I’d think either Ex or rehome but if the ex doesn’t gel with the dog I’d be saying get the dog a new lovely home. Sorry op

No assumption here

I was on a previous thread she started

Thanks for all the responses.

@Differencesclear He is buying me out but I don't have a lot of equity in the house so would need a bit of time for a deposit. I don't want to live here long term even if I could so it makes sense to move out. We got the dog together.

The issue is that I don't think he would want to do all the exercise the dog requires by himself as he struggles when I'm out at the best of times (lazy). I suggested a sort of joint agreement where he would be with me a few days and with him a few days but I guess quite rightly my ex says he we need a clean break. He's not decided if he would keep him by himself yet so I am trying to work out options. I would never put him in a shelter - dont worry. Was more thinking a friend of his family would potentially take her.

take him*

How long have you had the puppy op?

What about back to breeder?

The fact that you are even considering not taking the dog suggests you aren’t that attached to her so rehoming her sounds like the best option.

This isn't an elderly dog you've had for years so why did you get a large breed of dog (or any dog for that matter) if your relationship was rocky?

@Differencesclear a year and breeder could be an option to be fair.

@RunningFromInsanity I am very attached to him but I am trying to work out what is in his best interests rather than being selfish and not being able to give him what he needs.

A breeder is unlikely to want a 1 year old dog. They sell cute puppies to people who dish out lots of money without a thought to the longterm. Sorry to sound harsh op.

It wasn’t a criticism (although it did sound like one sorry).
I’ve had my dog for a lot longer and there is simply no way I would even think about rehoming him, or not taking him with me, even if it wasn’t the best thing for me or him. Selfish yes probably. But for me it’s a no brainer.

So the fact that you could consider life without her suggests that rehoming her might be the better option.

If she was older then I would say that staying with you would be the best thing, but she’s only young so I understand your dilemma.

Hi @keenrunner - sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like you could make a move with your dog work and remember he loves you, not your house. I would recommend moving, taking him with you, and seeing how you feel once settled - it’s not always best to make huge decisions like parting with a dog when in the midst of huge emotional upheaval.

However, if you do decide to rehome him, you could hand over to Dogs Trust as they never put a healthy dog down. If you have one near you, you could contact them with no obligation to go further. Going to somewhere reputable like DT, would probably be fairer than giving him to relatives/friends who might not be able to meet his needs.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

I would take him. There is no way I'd be parted from my dog, and he will be happy if he is with you and getting exercise with you.

For the two days you can investigate options for daycare or walking - ask new neighbours with dogs for recommendations.

I lived in London with my dog, most of us lived in flats with dogs. As long as they get masses of walks and off leash time outside, they were happy.

@RunningFromInsanity thanks - sorry for being a bit defensive, it's just not an easy decision. But I get where you are coming from. I'm just worried it wouldn't be the right thing for the dog but I am also willing to try hard to make it work if I could so even trying to have a place closer to the office so I can be home more on those days and take him out his usual walks. Potentially try to get a small house instead of flat too for a bit of outside space but it's also the interim period with family thats a big concern for me as it's a long commute and he would be left either in my parents house for 10-12 hours those days or at a doggy day care (although I'm sure he'd love it as a very sociable dog who loves to play.)

Lots to think about!

I have a large breed dog who is still young and excitable, needs about 10k of walking & playtime a day to really tire out.

How young is young, and how large is large? What breed? (As an aside, more physical exercise is not always the answer, mental exercise can be just as tiring once a decent walk has been had.)

A breeder is unlikely to want a 1 year old dog. They sell cute puppies to people who dish out lots of money without a thought to the longterm. Sorry to sound harsh op.

I appreciate that for many people, opinions of dog breeders are rock-bottom, but for a GOOD breeder this is just not the case. All decent breeders will actively want to assist puppy buyers for life, and if necessary this will include helping in finding the dog a new home if it can't stay in its current one. This may mean taking the dog back themselves (although this isn't always the best thing for the dog), or they may have a long waiting list of people who would consider something slightly older.

@keenrunner - if your husband wouldn't be committed to keeping the dog, is there anything to be lost in you trying to see if he could integrate well in to your new life before exploring re-homing options?

Is there an actual person who is willing to take DDog? Do they want to and do they have space and time to provide the hime Ddog needs?

I know on here people tend not to recommend rehoming but giving to a rescue instead , but if it's someone you know and trust then it might be the least worst option.

Jesus Christ.